Friday, July 4, 2008

Phobia Friday: Scorpions

Scorpions. *Shudders* For real, who likes these things? They're slimy looking, they have pinchers, they have stinging barb, and are notorious for hiding in shoes and stinging the crap out of you just for trying to get dressed in the morning.

They are totally creepy looking: spider meets lobster meets Venom. I know this is shallow, but belch.

Oh, and they can be deadly.

I once saw an episode of Man Vs. Wild where Bear Grills broke the stinger off of a scorpion and ATE it. I almost died.

Nelson seriously considered completing his PhD at Arizona State and all I could think was, "Arizona? But there are scorpions in Arizona! AHHHHH!"

Scorpions are the number two reason I have never visited the Southwest. The extreme heat is number one (and I'm not afraid of the heat, I just don't like it.) Or maybe scorpions are number one and the extreme heat is number two. I go back and fourth on this.

Full disclosure: I have never seen a real, live scorpion. I've only seen them on TV. I have never known anyone who's been stung by a scorpion. I don't even think I know anyone who knows anyone that's been stung by a scorpion.

What I'm saying is I realize my fear is totally irrational. Scorpions are not even native to the U.S Northeast coast where I live. But I don't care. I hate the little suckers and wouldn't mind if they went extinct. Sorry, scorpion lovers of the world, but that's just how I feel.


Swistle said...

I've never seen a live scorpion, either. If I did, I think I would immediately catch a flight. I wouldn't even pack my things, because MAYBE THERE WERE SCORPIONS IN MY THINGS AND I'D BE BRINGING THEM TO MY NEW HOME.

Gypsy Guru said...

Hmmm... I'd say that Georgia will probably be the next state to go from your list then.

A few times a year we'll find a tiny black one or two, usually somewhere in our living room. The cat is helpful - he has a peculiar "there's-a-scorpion-get-it-QUICK" meow-ish sound that he makes to warn us.

My trick? I get the metal tongs from the kitchen, grab them by the tail (they freeze, don't skitter away like spiders) and do this crazy wide-legged walk to the bathroom and flush them. I rescue spiders, even big ones, but the scorpions gotta go.

Susanica said...

Hi Jenni. Indeed you do know someone who was stung by a scorpion. When I was in Peace Corps in Gueatemala I had a jar of change and dumped it into my hand to count it. I then realized there was something moving. So of course I screamed cuz I realized it was a scorp. (We called 'em "scorps" so they wouldn't seem too scary.)

But not to worry. Peace Corps gives you benedryl before you leave to start your service. Unfortunately though all the little white medicine bottles look alike, so then I spotted some bottles the previous volunteer named Mark had left. One had little scorpions drawn on it with a Sharpie. AHA I thought. This must be the benedryl. But then I convinced myself that maybe Mark was psycho and had a collection of scorps in there.

Long story short it really was just benedryl and I was fine. And when I'd tell my Guatemalan friends about it they'd sort of laugh and shrug "oh you Americans". Apparently the larger the scorpion the less poisonous. So I had nothing to worry about. Or so they said... -Monica

Jenni said...

@swistle - HA! that sounds like something I would do

@gypsy guru - I had NO IDEA scorpions lived only one state over from my mom (who's in SC.) Now, I'm nervous. Thank god you have a smart cat.

@Susanica - OMG I'm shocked. If I'd been stung by a scorpion I'd be telling everyone I knew. As scary as it is, it's kind of a glamorous thing to live through.

Anonymous said...

I know just what you mean. Scorpions TERRIFY me, and I live on the Northeast coast, so they're not native. All I know is that when my dad went to Arizona once, he brought back a paperweight with a small tan, obviously dead scorpion in it and I started crying.