I am a woman of many pet peeves. Even more so being that I'm pregnant. Here's a list of things you should ABSOLUTELY NEVER do in my presence, or just things that annoy the crap out of me in general.
1. Over cooking pasta - Pasta is supposed to be al dente, people, not mushy. It should be firm, but not crunchy. The only people who should be eating mushy pasta are babies and other people with no teeth. Do you have teeth? Then cook your pasta properly.
2. People who pause at green lights (I'm looking at you, Nelson) - Green means go. So GO GODDAMN IT! Pausing at a green light is the opposite of safe. It is down right dangerous. Proceed forward. Should you use caution? Yes. Should you come to a complete stop, causing the cars behind you to stop short and possibly attempt to drive on the shoulder to pass you? No.
3. Inappropriate parkers - If you don't have a sticker with a stick figure in a wheelchair, don't park in the handicap accessible spaces. If you are not enormously pregnant, do not park in the expectant mother parking. If you do not have an infant, do not park in the parents with infant parking spaces. I assure you it is way more difficult for me to haul my fat-pregnant ass and stroller to the store than it is for you to haul your fat non-pregnant ass to the store. Oh, and screw you and your Lexus - you don't need to park in more than one space. One space per car. That's what the white lines are for.
4. Wet cuffs - You know when your washing dish or washing your hands, so you pull up the sleeves of your shirt/sweater, but they fall back down in the middle of the washing so the cuffs end up getting soaked and then you have to deal with wet cuffs all afternoon? Yeah, I hate that.
5. Shirt stains that appear only after washing - grrr.
6. Adults who chew with their mouths open - Holy crap this is so disgusting. The sight of it is bad enough, but the SOUND of the chewing is what really drives me insane. I mean who doesn't know that one is supposed to close ones mouth when chewing? Isn't that common knowledge, or am I being a politeness fanatic?
7. Dogs licking themselves (Valentine, I'm looking at you) - Oh god, there are few things that give me the heebie jeebies more than the sound of a dog licking itself repeatedly. Valentine does this - it's like a nervous habit. That wet slurping sound just makes me want to hurl.
8. Litterbugs - Trashcans are for trash, sidewalks are for walking. Keep your filth to yourself and have a little respect. Capishe?
9. Dirty dishes in the sink - PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER!!!! What's that you say? This dishwasher is full of clean dishes? EMPTY IT! Really, I don't mind, I swear to god. It will not hurt my feelings. And, if you don't know where something goes, ask me, don't just put it in some arbitrary location.
I must have about a thousand more, but I'm curious about what YOUR pet peeves are, if you're willing to share.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.