Wednesday, November 19, 2008

To Oscar

Dear Oscar,

How's it going, little man? Here we are, in the midst's of our last days as a team of two. In a few short weeks, a new player will be joining our ranks. I've been waiting for our new teammate for months, but you, my little star, are going to be blindsided.

I'm not going to kid you, or myself. It's going to be tough. You know all those hours you spend in my lap on the couch, reading books? And the time you spend in my lap on the floor building towers? Well, that lap time is about to be severely compromised. My lap is going to be the property of a very small, loud, needy person for the next several months. Your new brother or sister. Yes, he or she will share, but not much. It's not going to be 50/50. You are going to get the shaft, my friend.

You are going to spend more time crying. Don't worry, so will I. Your needs may not be attended to immediately; you might have to wait for your water refill or for your apple to be sliced. I might not be able to read you Dinosaur Roar 12 times in a row. You are not going to like this. Not even a little.

Please know that as tough as this is going to be for you, it will be even more difficult for me. I have no idea how I am going to cope with not attending to your every need the second it crops up. With not being able to comfort you the second you need it, to tickle away your sadness and kiss away your tears. You have been my universe for 17 months. It's going to be a big change for both of us.

But also know Sprout will never, ever take your place in my heart. I anticipate loving Sprout just as much as I love you, but you will always be my first, my Bean, my little man, the one who made me a Mommy.

I know you won't remember this time. Heck, you won't even remember a time before your sibling existed. But I will remember for both of us. I will remember the time when you were my one and only. I will remind you.

Love you,

Mommy

Oscar and Mommy, the day after his birth.

13 comments:

Cameron said...

Kids adapt to their environment amazingly well. Sure, it won't be easy, but it won't be the worst thing in the world either ;)

Super Ninja Mommy said...

First, Oscar is freakin adorable in that pic.
Second, I swear to God it won't be that bad. Swear. To God. From experience, its way harder to incorporate a new baby into a home with a three year old than a one year old.

You will be able to hold both of them at once, and despite what I joke about at tUt, you'll even be able to rock them. Oscar will adore his new sibling, but he will try to kill him or her. Not in a mean way, but more like a "Oh you look like you'd like a cracker, let me jam it in your three day old mouth" kind of way.

And there really is nothing greater than lying bed, nursing a newborn with a toddler cuddled up near your head, telling fantastic stories about cows that hatch out of giant eggs.

Seriously? You will love this time in your life, and Oscar will probably not even notice much of a chance, except now you can hold him better because you don't have that annoying watermelon under your shirt.

-SNM

steenky bee said...

This post just broke my heart and brought back so many memories for me. It was so difficult for me to tear myself away from Henners and suddenly share time with another little soul. It works though. It's so awesome seeing your children interact as siblings. There are times when they can't stand each other, but then they are fiercely protective of each other. Well, until someone accidentally spills a plate of spaghetti. Then the fingers go a flyin'. That's right, my 13 month old has learned to cast blame and then crawl away in a fury.

Casey said...

Aww, this post made me sad. Oscar will be ok, I promise. You'll just have to make it a point to split your attention. In my case, my second got way less attention and she's way less clingy because of it. We all play on the floor together and split the attention. That picture is so sweet, that little fuzzy baby head looks so kissable.

kittyconcerto.com said...

How touching. I'm sure Oscar will enjoy reading that in the future.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

sigh.

bsouth said...

You'd be amazed just how much room there is on your lap. I learnt how to hold two very quickly. It's also amazing how many kisses and cuddles you can give with one hand and how many stories you can read while you're feeding a small baby. What I also found tended to happen was that the 2nd small got left in a moses basket a lot more than the 1st one ever did!

Good luck to you, Oscar and the Sprout.

EllenMarie said...

Oh Jenni just reading this brings the tears and memories of bringin Dex home and how devestated Steven was. (This is why I said last week that my guest post isn't so funny.) But I always tell Steven the same thing - "I love both you AND your brother immensely but it was YOU who first made me a Mommy." Ahhhhh! I hope Oscar adjusts well. Steven was 4 so he had more time with just me. It will be interesting to see how Declan reacts to a new sibling. I worry it will break his tiny heart too. :(

PRM said...

Tears! No fair making me cry at 7:38 am when I'm losing my hair! Well, I was 5 when my baby brother came along. Oscar will be much more well-adjusted.

moo said...

These are my fears too ... but I know it will work out (for the both of us).

Lots of compromise. Lots of flexibility. Lots of love to go around.

1invermillion said...

That is such a darling picture :)

Thanks for your advice on our blog btw.

Becky said...

I love this! And you will love seeing them together.

jessica said...

Jenny this is beautiful and really sweet. I had never thought about this before, the experience a mother goes through when she has to adjust to the changing relationship between herself and her first child when the second one comes. thanks for sharing!

JesP