This is it, people. It. I go to the chiropractor at 8AM and then to Dr. Magic Hands at 9:45AM. I will know hours from now, HOURS, how I will be having this baby - at home as planned or via C-Section, as absolutely not planned.
I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified of having to have major surgery. I don't like hospitals in the first place and the idea of needles and scalpels just freaks me out. Of feeling a doctor I barely know tug my child from my abdomen. I'm a total mess about it.
I'm sad. Sad that my birth may go nowhere near as planned. Sad that the Sprout may have to be born into a bright, cold hospital OR instead of our safe, warm, softly lit home. That they will whisk him or her away from me, that I will not be the first one to hold him or her.
I'm trying to to dwell on my fear and sadness. After all, I do not know how things will end up. And, fear and sadness aside, we are welcoming a new member to our family. We are giving Oscar a sibling. I'm about to be a mother of two, and I'm (terrified) excited about that.
I'll update later today, if possible, and certainly later this week. Either way, guest posts will start dropping tomorrow.
Wish us luck!