Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Here I Am, Still Pregnant. And I'm Okay With That. Except When I'm Not.

I left myself this little hole in between guest posts JUST IN CASE I still had not given birth, or so I could post super cute photos. And, here I am 300,000 weeks pregnant with my breech baby. And I'm kind of okay with that.

Truth? I'm more than a little terrified of bringing home number two. I mean, two is a whole new ball game. First, there is no way I'm going to get lucky the second time around and have a quiet, cuddly, good sleeping, non-crying baby like Oscar was. Little Breechy McBreecherton has already proven itself to be more difficult.

And, then there's just the whole numbers thing. Two. That's twice as many as one, for those of you keeping count. Um, there is still just one of me folks. I'm not multiplying. Only two hands and two legs and one chicken-fried brain. Yes, I have Nelson, but the guy is gone 12 hours a day for five days a week. Just imagining it makes my head spin.

Since I'm being honest here, I have to say, most days I feel like I barely cope with Oscar. I know it's a lot to do with my being pregnant and unable to interact with him as well and having a very short fuse these days, but even still. Toddlers are hard, significantly harder than a newborn. Newborns mostly just sit there in your arms or the swing and you feed and change them every few hours and yeah, it's a lot of work. But toddlers spend roughly 50 percent of their time trying to kill themselves and 50 percent of their time driving their parents insane. Constant rescuing and attempts to preserve ones sanity are way more difficult than a dozen dirty diapers a day. I can even imagine doing it all at once.

But, I'm starting to get sore. Not just my back, but my legs and my feet and my knees. I've already put on an extra 10lbs with this kid than I did with Oscar and my body is paying the price. I want to walk without waddling. I want to meet this baby, the one does the one legged tap dance on my cervix and punches me in the diaphragm 50 million times a day. I want to smell that new baby smell and snuggle a soft little head and marvel at teeny, tiny toes. I want to wrap it's little bottom in those itty bitty N sized diapers. Le sigh.

So, yeah. I'm mostly okay that I'm still pregnant. Except when I'm not. A walking, talking contradiction.

7 comments:

Susanica said...

Breechy McBreecherton? That's hysterical! Oscar and Breechy! Very cute. Say...the other night I dreamed that you named your baby a name that starts with a C and ends with an R. And I'm not going to say it outloud in case there's a one a gazillion chance that you really have picked a name that starts with an C and ends with an R. Can you tell the Breechy one that we are all getting pretty excited to meet him or her? Okay. -Monica

Cameron said...

Cher?

At Oscar's age, and my boys age, they are insane. My boy has tried to burn the house down. There is no scarier image than an infant holder a huge butcher knife. The newbie will be a cakewalk, and he/she will probably sleep all the time, until they're 18.

Casey said...

Hah! Breechy McBreecherton, what a great name for him/her. I was terrified of having a second too. I know they say newborns take up all of your time but I found that the toddler was the one always in danger. When in doubt, throw McBreeechy on the floor and chase after Oscar. He's the one who will get into trouble and the newborn will still be in the same spot when you get back from your rescue mission. Also? Get a LOUD fan (pointed at the ceiling) for both kid's rooms so they can hopefully sleep when the other one is awake. Sorry, but baby nirvana (when they both nap at the same time) is rare and the little brats will wake each other up all the time. Grrr. You'll be fine, you had Danny at your house all that time and you survived...a newborn is less work than a toddler in my eyes.

crazylovescompany said...

Hang in there Jenni. It will be ok. I've been thinking of you.

moo said...

Honey, I'm sorry. But I totally know what you mean when you say that sometimes, you just don't feel able to handle ONE, let alone TWO.

Here's sprinkling much labor dust on you, darling.

Krystal said...

Like Casey said, you will survive! Heck, I survived to make it to baby # 6!!!

If I could do it and I am as much of a sh!t for brains than anyone, you can do it!!

blissfully caffeinated said...

You're still pregnant? Oh, mami. I fully expected to come over here and find pictures of a little newborn babeh.

Two is hard. I'm not gonna lie. But you know what? It passes. It gets easier. Take any help you can get and take any anti-depressants offered by your doctor. And all pain killers as well.