Monday, January 26, 2009

The One Where I Called Poison Control

Holy shit, you guys. Hooooleeee sheeeeet.

And the day started off so well. I got up early to have coffee and read blogs unencumbered by toddler and infant, but they both got up early too. They loves me.

But, that was fine. Lots of nursing and playing and breakfasting. On to napping and nursing and then lunch and ransacking the house. But the tears were few and far between, so ransack away, I say.

Miles spit up in the most epic way. EPIC. It was seriously about three or four ounces - a whole feeding. It covered and soaked through my sweater, my jeans, Miles' outfit and onesie, and left a softball sized stain on my couch. We both needed a full change of clothes.

But he was cooing and grinning away and Oscar was being a prince so even though I reeked of my own curdled bodily fluids I was okay with that. Puke away, little man, just keep on grinning.

I was making dinner so that it would be ready when Nelson got home. I had Miles in the carrier and Oscar tooling around, playing with measuring cups and baking pans and laughing and yelling, "Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! HAHAHAHAHA!" (Yeah is his new word - he's actually responding in the affirmative these days!)

So, the (frozen) enchiladas are in the oven, the (frozen) rice is on the stove and I'm feeling good. The baby is stinky, so I take him in the living room for a change. Oscar is tooling around. Somewhere in the middle of the diaper change, it gets quite. Parents, you know this quite. Scary quiet.

Oscar comes toddling in. He's holding the Windex, smiling his ass off. He spraying the Windex onto his sweater, up by his shoulder. Shit. I left the pantry open. I take away the Windex with one hand while diapering Miles with the other. "That's a 'no' Oscar. No cleaning products."

Then, I notice his face, his mouth, is wet.

I swipe my hand over his lips and smell it - Windex. I abandon the diaper change and grab Oscar and pin him down on the couch to examine his face in the light. It was clear he'd sprayed Windex into his mouth. He starts coughing. He ingested Windex. Windex.

I put him down and grab Miles and begin searching for the phone.

"Where the f--- is the phone?" I'm yelling, and I find it and Oscar is GONE.

I run into the kitchen, where the number for Poison Control is on the fridge and there's Oscar, in the pantry, trying to find another tasty treat.

"What are you doing? Get the HELL out of there! I have to call poison control so you don't DIE" and I'm dragging him out and he bolts, laughing hysterically with the Endust in his hands.

I wrestle away the Endust and call Poison Control. And Miles is screaming in my ear because he's cold and the timer is going off and the rice is starting to burn and Oscar is running around like an insane person literally pounding a spoon on a pan and screaming, "YEAH! Yeah, yeah, yeah! HAHAHAHA!"

The, the most soft spoken person in the world answers the phone and I'm screaming (just to be heard over the din in my home), "My kid sprayed Windex in his mouth and I don't know how much! I was just changing the baby and I forgot to lock the cabinet!"

She's asks how old he is, and is it regular Windex (it is.)

"It's fine. Windex is mostly water. It tastes a little vinegary and has a little ammonia in it, but just give him plenty of juice and water and he'll be fine," and she's so calm I'm actually convinced that Oscar will not die because of my negligence.

She asked if I think it's in his eyes and I say no. She's asks how he's doing and I tell her he's laughing and playing and she says that's good! She says her name and tells me someone will call tomorrow to check on how Oscar is doing. She tells me someone is there 24/7 if I ever need them.

I hang up and sob with relief.


Cameron said...

You're a better parent than I am.

The other day, I found boy and girl hiding in the corner of our bedroom. Boy has something on our face, so I walk up to see they're eating TUMS....I thought nothing of it, only because I knew they were only two or three left in the container. I figured if anything they would get a calcium boost that day.

abdpbt said...

ARGH! I got tense just reading this! And I definitely know that quiet, my husband doesn't really get it yet--I hope it doesn't take a bout with Windex to get through to him.

I'm glad everybody's alright!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Oh I am sorry I really should not be laughing that he grabbed the endust, maybe the kids is on to something?

I think my name is flagged at the Posin Control Center : )

I am begining to think that nothing is poisonios anymore because they always tell me what they told you to give them water and they should be fine!

Casey said...

Oh Jenni, that's so scary! I'm glad everything turned out well. Graham would have been doing that same exact thing, laughing and running away while he ingested poison. Kids do everything in their power to freak us out.... Oscar definitely wins this week's award.

Momma Bear said...

oh good lord! Sheesh! glad the little munch is okay.
I had to call pc a few months ago cause Nora sucked down a tube of neosporing...the little shits I tell you their little shits! Scarin their momma's like that..why I alda...well you're just lucky we love you so much..:)

Veronica said...

oh man and that kind of thing always happens just as everything else needs your attention.

Kat said...

I have had to call Poison Control twice, both reacting the same as you. It is some scary shit! LaLa has got into the Resolve Carpet Cleaner and Windex. I still get the jitters.

Susanica said...

You must have been terrified. That is scary Jenni. We've got the number on our fridge too but now I'm gonna put it in my cell. So incredibly glad Oscar is okay. I can just see him laughing it up. -Monica

Heather said...

Poison contol are really cool people!!! I learned the hard way like that too...I kept everything in the laundry room (up high) for years....those child locks don't work for shit!!!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

He's trying to tell you you're getting behind on the housework methinks...

Anonymous said...

Blimey - why do they always do that just as you're in the middle of a nappy change? Glad it all worked out ok in the end but it must have been terrifying. The worst I've had was when I found the girl with a mouth full of leaf from a plant - I didn't know what the plant was and spent an hysterical 10 minutes trying to get through to mother in law (for it was she who had given us said plant) who informed me that it was some form of ivy, she wasn't exactly sure what type, but it would probably do her no harm. Not exactly calculated to pacify me!

Krystal said...

Poison Control rules!!!! I had 2 scares that required me calling them - one was with some household cleaner - they said the same thing, water and juice and he'll be fine. The last one was with medicine - my husband gave Princess the adult form of Robitussin to her at the adult dosage - 2 tsp - yeah - uh huh! We called Poison control, said not to worry to give her something to eat and srink lots of fluids that the worst that could happen is she get sleepy.

Since then, the meds for the kids and adults are seperated into different cabinets.

Glad to hear that he is okay.

PRM said...

omiGod, Jenni. I'm so glad it turned out AND that you're paving the way for us - now I know not to flip out when X drinks Windex.

Keely said...

omg! That is so freaky. My heart was pounding for you!

Glad he's okay! I should take this opportunity to put ALL that stuff way up high before the same thing happens to me - X already has a penchant for eating soap.

Anonymous said...

I was holding my breath while reading this and now I'm going to go dream violent dreams of my unborn child ingesting poison. Thanks for that.

Oh. And I'm super happy that it was nothing. Whew.

Stimey said...

That first phone call to poison control is a big deal. I'm glad it ended happily. My first was because Jack sprayed mosquito repellent in his eyes. And let me tell you, five minutes of eye flushing is a long time.

Becky said...

Eek! So glad it turned out okay. Yes, a quiet toddler is like a ticking bomb! And that is good to know about windex. Remember the family that that Big Fat Greek Wedding movie, and how they sprayed windex on everything? Like, on their bodies? It was a cure-all. LOL.

blissfully caffeinated said...

Dude, I know that feeling. Since Avery was born I have called poison control no less than 7 times. Our first incident was with desiccant silica gel which should have alerted me to how things were going to be with this kid. Only once did they say "hang up and go to the ER," but it turned out OK. Scares the crap out of ya though.

Nicole said...

I randomly found your blog because my 2YO just ingested some (no clue how much) windex also. Same scenario in that her shirt was wet, and I KNOW she got some in her mouth, but who knows how much. Everything I'm reading online says the same as Poison Control told you: no worries.

M.Z. said...

Thank God for this post. My little ones were playing with windex in the bathroom and I don't see any signs they ingested it but I wanted to be sure it wouldn't harm them. it's amazing how calm the poison center workers are. I would be pissed if my child was in danger one time & theyplayed joe cool. Most of the time you get off the phone thinking, why don't they put that on the label so I don't freak out like this.

Jennifer Coderre said...

Boy, did I need a laugh just now! My two year old son just got ahold of a Windex bottle, and I didn't notice until he was on the other side of the house. "Did you put it in your mouth? Did you drink any?" He shook his head no. Whew! But, he loves to spray things with the water bottle. He must've sprayed a plant, or *something*. "Did you spray anything?" Nods. "What did you spray?" He sticks out and points to his tongue. Great. I read the back of the bottle: drink water, contact a physician. Not very alarmist, especially considering how litigious this country can be if someone is even slightly hurt. I decided to see what the internet has to say, so I googled "windex toddler" and here I am!

Thanks so much again for relieving my lingering worries, and for a much needed laugh-out-loud funny blog post! You made my day!

Lidamarie said...

Thank you for posting this! I know it was a long time ago but it helped me today as my 7 year old sprayed windex in my 5yr old girls eye and mouth I was freaking out and told her to drink a whole bottle of water down and it's important! Meanwhile after I flush her eye out and give her the water and all the bottle says is it contains amonia and to keep away from pets and children! I am thankful for the internet because I turn to it for everything!! LOL Chances are always very highly likely that someone has gone through the same thing:) Again thanks for the post and hope you and your family are doing great.. Best wishes