Thursday, February 26, 2009

Seriously, You are Not Going to Believe the Day I Had

On Wednesday I had to take both boys in for their well child exams and they both got shots. Thankfully, my mother-in-law came with me to help wrangle the boys but afterward they were both super cranky all day.

I had to wake them up an hour early so we could get to the doctor on time because I wanted a first AM appointment so we could avoid all the sickos. When we got home, Oscar only napped for one hour (usually he naps for 2-3 hours), so you can add exhaustion to my already cranky toddler (he got his DTap booster, ouch).

While I was fixing dinner for some friends who were coming by to give me some adult conversation, Oscar ate and ink pad, pooped three times in two hour, and dumped his juice all over the floor and smeared it around. Let me say that again: he ate an ink pad, pooped three times and gave my floor a juice bath. He was in his glory. I mean, any one of those things is standard Oscar behavior on any day of the week, but all three? And pooping three times in two hours? Really? Three times? What am I feeding this kind? Horse laxatives?

Then, during dinner with, he proceeded to throw all his food on the floor, kick the underside of the dinner table and scream, "all done! all done! all done!" for the entire meal. Also, Miles was wailing the WHOLE TIME.

Pam offered to hold Miles while I put Oscar down for bed. Well Miles cried almost the entire time I was putting Oscar down. And Oscar, who hasn't cried at bed time in, oh, eight months, decided to let it rip. Screaming. I finally calmed him around the time Miles cooled his jets.

During all of this, my brother's dog Sophie, who is on cortisone for a slipped disc in her neck (I know, WTF?), peed on the floor. My friend Pam cleaned it up, bless her, because I'd had a kid tied to my boob for 45 minutes.

When Pam and her husband and son left, I prepared to go upstairs only to find Sophie had peed one the floor. Again. So I cleaned that up, went upstairs and got Miles down. I headed down stairs to watch some Idol (don't judge) and on my way downstairs, I discovered the my dog Nebo had vomited on the stairs so profusely (although completely silently) that it dripped down FIVE steps. Five, FIVE STEPS of DOG VOMIT.

So, I went downstairs to get some towels to clean up the vomit and I called all the dogs to go out one last time before bed. And Sophie cowered in the corner which only means one thing: she peed on the floor AGAIN. For those of you keeping count, this is the third time she peed on the floor. I'm not lying. I looked around and found the pee and it was this tiny spot. She didn't even really have to go. She just peed on my floor for spit. For spite, I tell you.

I think dogs speak toddler, or toddlers speak dog because they are so ganging up on me. And did I mention that Nelson is in California and missed this lovely poop/pee/vomit filled day? Oh yes he is. And I hate him a little bit for it.

12 comments:

Cameron said...

I can imagine Miles' schedule may not quite be set in stone, but in general, we have our friends over AFTER the kids go to bed, or as close to it as possible. The devils are too much to handle otherwise.

Keely said...

That is a LOT of fluids for one evening.

Momma Bear said...

okay now i'm stressed out and need to go to bed...oh crap what a day.

when the hubby comes home he needs ot let you be for a while-in other words let you escape to rest!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Oh Damn, that makes my day seem a little bit better than the cra it was : ) Thanks for that...

Tomorrow can only get better right?

Veronica said...

I think your friend Pam is a little bit of awesome. And dude, chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

River said...

So, rough day huh? Possibly this means they've got all of their angst out of the way in one go and will be angels for the next week?

bsouth said...

Blimey - that sounds awful. I hope you had at least one glass of wine (yes, I know, the whole breast feeding thing - it makes them sleep more!). It's bad enough having to clear up after your children but when the animals join in as well - snot fair for you.

Casey said...

I'm pretty sure this was a story about my life, right down to the rapid-fire shitting, sibling wailing and dog puking. In our house, they all happen simultaneously and always at the worst possible times. I'm sorry you had one of those days... let's hope the weekend is better.

Oh, and my little jerkface kid pulls the "ALL DONE" screaming trick at every meal. I'm so over it.

FoN said...

Wow. Dude, that is a lot of gross stuff for one day. Did he actually *injest* the ink pad??

Such Lovely Freckles said...

Well, this is the first post I'm reading on your blog. ;) I found here through Momma Bear. WOW, what a day you've had. It just confirms that I'm done with having babies and don't ever want any dogs. ;)

Hope your weekend will be much better.

PRM said...

OmiGod, I'm just reading this now after thinking we left you safe and sound and ready for bed. What a nightmare. You forgot to mention my son somehow burned his hand in all the chaos. Wow... and only Wednesday, too. Why do dogs have to pee or poop at the very stressful of times?

Stimey said...

Hopefully, maybe, you got it all out of the way in one day?