Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The F-Word

Scene: It is dinnertime at the Oscarelli household some three days ago. Miles is cooing happily and, shockingly, Oscar is very quietly enjoying his beef and bean tacos (thank you, slow cooker!)

Jenni: Blah, blah, blah

Nelson: Blah, blah, blah,

Oscar (quietly) : Fuck

Jenni: Did you just hear that? (to Oscar) What did you just say?

Oscar: ...

Nelson: I didn't hear anything.

Jenni: Oh, okay. I must be hearing things. Blah, blah, blah.

Nelson: Blah, blah, blah

Oscar: Fuck. Fuck!

Jenni: Now, I KNOW you heard that.

Nelson (whispers): Did he just say the f-word?

Jenni (laughing): YES!
Oscar: Fuck. Fuck! Fuck!

Nelson (also laughing): Where'd he learn that? PJ?

Jenni: PJ doesn't say the f-word. YOU say the F-word.

Nelson: Shit, you're right.

Jenni: Nelson!

Oscar (vaguly gesturing at Nelson): Fuck. Fuck? Fuck!

Nelson: Oh, sorry. No, wait. He's not saying fuck. He's saying truck. He's pointing to the trucks outside of the window. (gestures to trucks outside the window behind himself)

Jenni: He's not saying truck. He knows how to say truck. He's saying fuck. Oscar, stop it. Stop saying that.

Oscar (whining and frantically gesturing in Nelson's direction): Fuck! Waa! Fuck!

Nelson: Is he calling ME a fuck?

Jenni (laughing): Maybe. No, wait! He WANTS something. He's NOT saying fuck. He's saying FORK. Nelson he wants your FORK! (Jenni, feeling like Sherlock Holmes)

Oscar (visibly agitated): Fuck fuck fuck fuck!

Nelson: Oscar, do you want my fork?

Oscar: Yeah! Yeah! Fuck! Fuck!

Jenni: Pronounced like a true Italian! I guess we'll have to work on that one. And our language.


Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Oh that is hilarious! At least it wasent in some fancyy resturant with the in laws?! : )

Peggy said...

I love it!

A friend of mine's little girl used to yell firefuck firefuck! every time she saw a firetruck!

Becky said...

ha! I would have been laughing too, even though it's not the right thing to do in those moments!

Speaking of which, I need to stop calling the dog a "dumbass," 'cause I just heard Hank saying, "dumbask, dumbask!"

sammanthia said...

HILARIOUS! I remember when C was 4 and he told G "Eff off". I could have DIED.

Cameron said...

he'll be using the real thing soon enough. ;)

Casey said...

Phew! We've been through the "did he just SAY that?" stage. So far, Graham has only said it once when someone ran a stop sign and almost hit us. Then he started chanting it over and over until I convinced him that I said "phone" so he yelled that instead.

It's so rewarding to finally figure out what the hell they're saying, no?

Keely said...

Bwahhahhaha! That's fantastic. I need to tone down my language, but probably won't, so we'll be having that same conversation with X in about 6 months.

Heather said...

Oh what a funny story!!!

Momma Bear said...

what a cutie!
I gave you an award btw!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

he's now even cuter!

Kat said...

The classic story around my house growing up is when I mortified my mom in the middle of Shoney's screaming "I want a fuck (fork)!" and she was going "Ok..her is your FORK FORK FORK"

Susanica said...

Oh crappiola! It's not like Oscar and Danny imitate each other or anything. Oh dear! ;-) -Monica

Stephanie said...

Effing Hilarious!!

abdpbt said...

This is hilarious! Mini hasn't said a bad word yet, but it's just a matter of time.

Sprite's Keeper said...

That will go down in Oscarelli history! Priceless!

Bridgeburners said...

That went over a lot better than when my kids repeat something I said.

Stimey said...

Oh, that's really funny. Fork is a tough word. To this day, I mean to say fork and instead I curse up a storm. :)

bsouth said...


Sherendipity said...

This post was featured on the Connoisseur du Jour Sunday Funnies