So, it's Time. And by Time I mean time to get serious about shedding this baby weight. And the other baby weight. And all the other weight I've accumulated over the past several years.
In order to Get Serious, I'm hooking up with the hottest heifers on the Internets and joining Club Half as Small as You, or HASAY as they say.
To begin with, I do not come from a family of skinny people. We are fat people*, and some people just are fat people and I think that's okay. In fact, we seem to have excellent health, other than our fatness; no high blood pressure, no bad cholesterol, no heart disease. Mostly I've been okay with my status as fat people because lots of fat people are so awesome and super cool, like Chris Farley, John Candy, Marlon Brando, Elvis. But then I was thinking and lots of awesome and super cool fat people are also dead and that ain't so cool my friends, so I'm getting all over top of my shit. Starting now. Or last week, really.
Last week was my first week of dieting, a la Weight Watchers and I lost 3.6 lbs. That leaves me with about 8 lbs to lose to be at my pre-Miles weight, another 10 lbs to lose to be at my pre-Oscar weight, and like 45 (okay 55) (okay 65) pounds to be skinny people again. So, that's means I have a loooooong way to go. But I'm up for the challenge.
I can't really go to a gym at this point because Miles' schedule is just not regular enough. But, I can push 50 lbs of toddler in a 20 lb stroller while carrying a 14 lb infant on my chest for a few blocks a day. Weather permitting, of course. So, that will be my exercise.
Okay, so my plan is to drink lots of water, follow Weight Watchers, and stroll toddlers all over creation. I had a good first week, but because Miles is exclusively breastfed, I expect my weight loss to be slow and painful. Emphasis on the painful, because I HATE dieting almost as much as I HATE exercising. Hence me not being skinny people.
Here's where I stand:
Remaining: 83.4 (OUCH!)
Go check out my fellow HAYSAYers over here.
*I maintain a firm stance that only fat people can call other fat people fat. If you are skinny people and you call fat people fat, you run the risk of said fat people sitting on you and squishing you. TO DEATH! Fat people can also call skinny people fat just because, but only if they really deserve it. Skinny people can call fat people skinny, but we know you are lying.