Monday, March 9, 2009

Kiss this Ass Goodbye

So, it's Time. And by Time I mean time to get serious about shedding this baby weight. And the other baby weight. And all the other weight I've accumulated over the past several years.

In order to Get Serious, I'm hooking up with the hottest heifers on the Internets and joining Club Half as Small as You, or HASAY as they say.

To begin with, I do not come from a family of skinny people. We are fat people*, and some people just are fat people and I think that's okay. In fact, we seem to have excellent health, other than our fatness; no high blood pressure, no bad cholesterol, no heart disease. Mostly I've been okay with my status as fat people because lots of fat people are so awesome and super cool, like Chris Farley, John Candy, Marlon Brando, Elvis. But then I was thinking and lots of awesome and super cool fat people are also dead and that ain't so cool my friends, so I'm getting all over top of my shit. Starting now. Or last week, really.

Last week was my first week of dieting, a la Weight Watchers and I lost 3.6 lbs. That leaves me with about 8 lbs to lose to be at my pre-Miles weight, another 10 lbs to lose to be at my pre-Oscar weight, and like 45 (okay 55) (okay 65) pounds to be skinny people again. So, that's means I have a loooooong way to go. But I'm up for the challenge.

I can't really go to a gym at this point because Miles' schedule is just not regular enough. But, I can push 50 lbs of toddler in a 20 lb stroller while carrying a 14 lb infant on my chest for a few blocks a day. Weather permitting, of course. So, that will be my exercise.

Okay, so my plan is to drink lots of water, follow Weight Watchers, and stroll toddlers all over creation. I had a good first week, but because Miles is exclusively breastfed, I expect my weight loss to be slow and painful. Emphasis on the painful, because I HATE dieting almost as much as I HATE exercising. Hence me not being skinny people.

Here's where I stand:

Down 3.6
Remaining: 83.4 (OUCH!)

Go check out my fellow HAYSAYers over here.

*I maintain a firm stance that only fat people can call other fat people fat. If you are skinny people and you call fat people fat, you run the risk of said fat people sitting on you and squishing you. TO DEATH! Fat people can also call skinny people fat just because, but only if they really deserve it. Skinny people can call fat people skinny, but we know you are lying.

15 comments:

Becky said...

Okay, so spill about Weight Watchers. When you say you are doing it, do you mean you are going to WW meetings? Reading a book? Buying special food? Whatcha doin'?

I've been going to the gym regularly, which has been good, but I think I need to actually add a diet component.

Casey said...

Yay, welcome to HASAY! Lugging around toddlers all day is great exercise. I'm with you on needing to lose A LOT. I like how you divided it into baby weight and then other weight... that's me too. Great work on losing 3.6lbs. I'm sure the breastfeeding will give you a jump start? I lost all of my baby weight from Graham since I breast fed but I couldn't with Elliot and I plumped up more after she was born. Grr. Good luck this week!

Peggy said...

Good Luck with WW! If you're gonna diet, that's definitely the way to go! Hamburger Happy Meal..11 points?! I'll take it! :)

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Good luck! I have had lots of friends that have had great success with WW. And the walking with toddlers?! I am envyious that your will sit in a stroller or else that is what we would ALL be doing...much more fun than the gym!! : )

mrsbear said...

You've got a good start with the almost 4 lbs. Good luck kissing your ass good-bye. The walking with the kids strapped to you is a great strategy. ;)

Cameron said...

I may have to join this diet / exercise trend pretty soon. I'm thinking when spring officially gets here, I'd like to start exercising....blech. My 12 ounce weight-lifting regimen isn't going as good as I had hoped, my arms are guns but my gut is like jabba the hut.

Amanda said...

I lost almost 60 lbs on weight watchers. It's the best. I slid back a bit when I got lazy, but am back on the program again. Don't think in terms of your final goal at this point- get your 10% first. Then go for the next 10%. It's more attainable goals.

Mommy In Pink said...

Hi, and welcome to Hasay! your little one is too cute!

abdpbt said...

Congrats on the weight loss! I hate dieting, too.

Susanica said...

Wow. If anybody can do it you can Jenni. I've found you can be a very determined person. I lost about 18 lbs on WW about 2 years ago and clearly need to do that again because it's back and more. I found the most important part of WW was just being diligent about writing down what I ate and calculating points. Even if I did terrible. There is something very powerful about writing it down. I also learned that if I screwed up I didn't need to wait til the next day to "get back on track". I could do so at the very next meal. Geez, I got to start listening to my own words!

Anyway, we are glad to contribute Danny's 25lbs to your toddler pushing weight! -Monica

Kat said...

Good luck. I wish I could make my ass get in gear, but I am just not sick enough of myself yet. It is coming soon, I feel it in my bones.

FoN said...

Welcome to Hasay and congrats on the 3.6 pounds!

Weight loss sucks, no getting around it. You can do it though because you're right. Dead people aren't cool.

Heather said...

Good luck with Weight Watchers...my mom has been doing that for years...but, she cheats a LOT...That should be quite a sight when you are out walking!!! Yeah for you!!!

Stimey said...

Sister, I could have written this. Except for the breastfeeding and actually losing weight part.

Congratulations.

I need to do this really badly too.

bsouth said...

Good for you and good luck with it. I really need to do something - I'm getting a bit tired of people telling me I'm brave to be having a third so soon, but apparently not tired enough to do anything about it yet!