Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Snippits - A Stimulating and Ultimately Unfortunate Conversation About my Mom

Alternate Title: Yes, I am Really This Boring

Jenni (reading email): So, my mom wrote me an email telling me she'd finally gotten her new cat, but I never even knew she was getting a cat.

Nelson (watching Gangland): Huh.

Jenni: It was like she though we had a conversation about her getting new cat, but we didn't, and she just picked up the conversation where it left off.

Nelson: Mmm-hmm.

Jenni: But we never had the conversation, so I'm reading the email and I'm like, "What cat? What are you talking about?"

Nelson: Hmmm.

Jenni: Oh, she sent a picture of the new cat. Aww, she's cute!

Nelson: ...

Jenni: Mom named her Lilly, with two "l"s, because she can't spell! Ha ha!

Nelson: What? Did you just say your mom shaved her lily?

Jenni: No. What?! NO! NO! What does that mean? Why would I say that? NOOOOOO! [Jenni falls to the floor and quivers like midwestern jellied side dish , a horrible image burned forever in her mind]

15 comments:

Cara said...

Ahahahhaaahahahaaaa.

Quite possibly the best story I've heard all week.

blissfully caffeinated said...

My husband loves Gangland, too. I don't get it.

Listen, my mom will tell me the same story over and over again with no recollection of ever having told it to me before.

That could just be from the alcohol though.

:)

Becky said...

Oh dear heavens!

I kinda had a feeling Nelson wasn't listening closely.

And my husband is the same way. It is infuriating. I think he's listening to me, and then when I say something that actually sparks his interest, he'll say, "Wait, wait, can you start over?"

Cameron said...

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Sprite's Keeper said...

Bwahahaha! Reminds me of John. I can't trust him with information since it usually goes in one ear and out the other.

Momma Bear said...

what the freak is, "shaved her lily?" sounds all porno, you're right. Man now I'm picturing my mom with a shaved lily, dammit. I'm quivering to the floor from the mental image ewwww yuck!

steenky bee said...

OMG OMG OMG! I haven't even read this yet, but I saw the words "my mom" in the title and gasped out loud. Back to read.....

steenky bee said...

MY EYES! No, MY BRAIN IN IN AGONY RIGHT NOW! I hope I never see the day that Jeremy ever makes a remark, accidental or not, about my mom's DOWN THERE parts. Ew. No. No and more no.

steenky bee said...

Honey, please consult me from now on when you have news about your mom. I'll never not be listening.

Casey said...

Wow, well it's better than shaving her cat. Uhm, too much? Sorry. Nelson listens to mom stories as well as Jamie does.

Also, my mom has a habit of wearing skirts and crawling around on the floor with the kids while everyone can see her underwear clad ass. It's classy.

bsouth said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Kat said...

That is classic!

kittyconcerto.com said...

This conversation reminds me of all the times my mom said "don't you remember, I already told you that!", when in fact she had not.

Mom's are funny like that.

littlebear said...

Okay the ending to that story had me LITERALLY ROFL!

Mrsbear said...

I've never heard the term shave the lily. I have to say it does sound slightly disturbing, especially when coupled with the words "your mother". All kinds of creepy. Conversations around here are similar, except I'm the one half listening and my husband is the one talking at me. That guy could go on forever.