Hi, cutie. You are cuter and fatter every day. But do you know what's not cute? Teething. I mean, you are still cute and pretty much entirely uncrabby, but you're not sleeping. Which means I'm not sleeping. I think maybe just put the teeth away for a few more months, okay? It's not like you need them right now.
What is your deal? You've been a major asshole lately. I know you are testing boundaries and exercising independence, but you really don't have to be a jerk about it. All of the pushing and the foot stomping and the dramatically throwing yourself onto the floor of Target/Home Depot/Trader Joe's and screaming your face off is just a bit much. There are very real reasons I don't allow you to jump on the couch with food in your mouth; the most important one being that I don't want to you CHOKE and DIE. And while we are at it, the whole reason I cut your food is so that you don't choke. So, no need to stuff three or twenty pieces of turkey sausage into mouth all at once. One at a time. It will still get to your stomach.
Momma, a.k.a MOMMA! MOOOOOOMMAAAAAAAAAA!
The reason there were no batteries in the Sound Puzzles was only partially because we had no triple As, and problem we remedied this weekend by buying so may triple As at Costco we may never need to by them again. My ears are bleeding.
Dear Diet Orange Soda,
Why are you so delicious? Thank you for being calorie free.
Now, go give Keely some sugar. Or some lettuce (she's detoxing, you know.)