How bout my post about calling Poison Control last week? You guys LOVED that shit. You ate it up. Google analytics tell me so. Man, I think I'm so funny.
And then I had to call Poison Control again on Friday because Oscar was sucking down a tube of hydrocortisone. I saw him with it in his hand, asked Nelson (who as about five inches away) to take it from Oscar because it is POISON. He did, but instead of putting the tube out of reach, Nelson put the tube about a foot away from Oscar. It took Oscar all of 30 seconds to just grab it again, take the lid off, and start squeezing it in his mouth.
Luckily, despite the warning on the tube (If ingested seek medical attention immediately, or contact Poison Control) hydrocortisone is non toxic, and we were instructed to follow it with water and he would be fine. He was.
But then I had to call Poison Control again on Saturday when we were at my in-laws. Nelson had gone to the bathroom and I had both boys in the kitchen. Oscar walked out to the living room, where all the toys are, and before I could even get to him I heard a THUMP! He came running back into the kitchen saying, "OW, Momma! I hurt eye! I hurt eye! Eye hurt!"
Because of the THUMP, I assumed he'd fallen and hit his eye. This happens to Oscar all the time. I asked him if he wanted me to kiss it and he said yes. Well, when I leaned it to kiss it, I was overwhelmed with it's floral scent.
WHAT? His eye smells like FLOWERS?
When I looked more closely at his eye, which was getting redder and more swollen by the minute.
"Yeah?" (he just returned from the bathroom.)
"Is there an air freshener in your parents living room?"
Nelson rushes in to the living room, and returns with an air freshener.
A motion activated air freshener.
With a button on it.
And a bright red light on the button. Or, a toddler beacon, as Nelson so aptly named it.
I opened the packaged and read the instructions. Harmful if sprayed in eyes - flush eye for 2o minutes.
Now, even though I know that you are always supposed to call Poison Control first, we just went ahead and flushed his eye because we knew how to do it. To get the water lukewarm; how to tilt his head so it ran it; how to pin him just right so that he couldn't move.
Well, this time was even more awful than the last because he knew it was coming and tried to escape. He was crying, "NO! NO! Hurt eye! Hurt eye!" And then, as I was holding there he started saying, "Take nap now! Take nap now!" as though he thought we were flushing his eye as some kind of punishment for not napping (he actually had napped that day.)
Nelson's mom came in and took Miles so Nelson could help me and Nelson started yelling at her for having the motion activated air freshener complete with toddler beacon sitting on the end table in the room with all of the toys. Not his finest moment, but he was understandably stressed as Oscar was screaming and flailing in my arms.
After I finished and we had dried Oscar off and put him in dry clothes I noticed that the eye was still very red so I did call Poison Control. They assured me we'd acted properly and told me to call back if in an hour. If his eye had not improved by then, I'd have to flush it again. He also informed me that grandparents houses are one of the most dangerous places for toddlers; they are not used to having them around so they don't take all the proper precautions (like putting motion activated air fresheners out of reach of children.)
He was fine; his regular non-sharing, quick to tantrum, quick to get over it self. And, I learned four things:
1) Just because something says, "If ingested, seek immediate medical attention or contact Poison Control," doesn't mean that the item is toxic. These warning are just meant to scare the shit out of parents.
2) Always do a sweep of grandparents house prior to letting the kids run free.
3) If there is anything even moderately possibly potentially poisonous or dangerous anywhere in Oscar's vicinity, he is going to find it, eat it, or put it in his eyes.
4) Do not make jokes with the Poison Control nurses about talking to them again soon. Because really, that is not funny. Well, not for me anyways.
I think Poison Control and I are going to have a long and beautiful relationship.