Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear So and So...Volume 2

Dear Oscar,

Please get out of my ass. I love you too, but really? You don't have to walk so goddamn close to me. I swear to god I'm going to get your fruity-veggies even if you aren't walking so close to me as to step on my ankles. I used to hope for a few seconds to myself when I left the room but now, just to be able to turn around without bumping into you would be awesome. I just want a little room to breathe.

Desperate for space,

Momma

******

Dear Nebo,

Stop trying to kill me. I'm not sure why you feel the need to wait for me to descend the stairs before you bound after me, attempt to pass me, and nearly knock me down the stairs. I always encourage you to go first, but you decline. It was bad enough before we had children, back when you were only trying to kill me, but now I have to carry BOTH (yes, both) kids down the stairs. My falling could while holding the bosses could be quite tragic. I'm beginning to think that tripping me up on the stairs is some kind of doggie-type assassination plot. You're not really that smart though so it's more likely that you are just a jerk. What ever it is, it is pissing me off so stop it. Jerk.

Your pack leader,

Mom

*****

Dear laundry,

Please do yourself.

Thanks,

Jenni

****

For more Dear So and So check out Kat at the Bungalow.

Dear So and So...

10 comments:

Sprite's Keeper said...

Sprite's been pulling the same thing with being right behind me. Lately she's been trying to crawl right through my legs, even if they're close together. When she tried this from behind, I announce that she's trying to be reborn. The jokes falls flat. All the time.

Captain Dumbass said...

You figure out that laundry thing please let me know.

Big Mama Cass said...

OMG you are HILARIOUS!! Your letters have made me subscribe :) And I so am writing that letter to laundry next week!! Damn good one! :)

Pollyanna said...

If you get the laundry to do itself, will you let me have some of your magic fairy dust? Do you think it would work on the dishes too?

Fun post!

I'd love to have you drop by my place: Life Makes Me Laugh

bsouth said...

Oh I hate it when they stand right behind you. It nearly always leads to some falling over and squishing of the offending toddler!

Krystal said...

This is the second time the Captain beats me to the punch!

And yeah, I have the same problem with the littlest boy...hewillnotleavemealone...yeah we're that close!

FoN said...

If the laundry replies, please send it over to my house, ok?

Cara said...

Dear Oscar,
If you are the one who taught Claire this godforsaken trick, I will have to take back your cute card.
Cara

Casey said...

My big fat dog pulls that same shit, good thing we live in a one story house. And the up your ass thing, we've got it times two.

Frogs in my formula said...

You need Go Go Gadget legs. My toddler is always on my heels too. It drives me nuts.