Please get out of my ass. I love you too, but really? You don't have to walk so goddamn close to me. I swear to god I'm going to get your fruity-veggies even if you aren't walking so close to me as to step on my ankles. I used to hope for a few seconds to myself when I left the room but now, just to be able to turn around without bumping into you would be awesome. I just want a little room to breathe.
Desperate for space,
Stop trying to kill me. I'm not sure why you feel the need to wait for me to descend the stairs before you bound after me, attempt to pass me, and nearly knock me down the stairs. I always encourage you to go first, but you decline. It was bad enough before we had children, back when you were only trying to kill me, but now I have to carry BOTH (yes, both) kids down the stairs. My falling could while holding the bosses could be quite tragic. I'm beginning to think that tripping me up on the stairs is some kind of doggie-type assassination plot. You're not really that smart though so it's more likely that you are just a jerk. What ever it is, it is pissing me off so stop it. Jerk.
Your pack leader,
Please do yourself.
For more Dear So and So check out Kat at the Bungalow.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.