Road trip! Road trip! Who's excited about eight hours in a car with two small children?
A recipe for disaster says you? Ah, but not if you are PREPARED!
Once you've finished your regular vacation packing (don't forget 14,000 extra outfits for the baby, which he will not need. Unless you don't pack them. Then he will need THEM ALL), it's time to pack for the trip.
- You will need to pack a snack pack - a knapsack or backpack filled with you child's favorite juices, snacks, and water. Stock it full of fruit bars, pretzels, graham crackers, goldfish, cookies, apple juice, etc. Also throw in a few "special" snacks, like mini chocolate bars or Hersey Kisses. Something they don't often get. Don't forget to stash an extra pack of wipes in there.
- You will also need a full diaper bag with for or five diapers and a full change of clothes for each kid, a full pack of wipes, and a stocked first aid kit.
- You're going to want to pack a toy bag with small toys for each kid. Include favorites and a couple of new ones, for when things get hairy.
- If you have it, a portable DVD player and favorite DVDs. This may save your life.
Wow, now doesn't that sound amazing? I mean, LOOK at all that STUFF. What could go wrong?
- Children refuse any an all snacks by grinding them into dust and/or throwing them on the floor, demanding FRENCH FRIES! FRENCH FRIES! ad nauseum.
- None of the bathrooms you stop at has a baby changing station. NOT ONE. They are also likely covered in flith, flam, FILTH.
- Toys you pack SUCK and are unceremoniously thrown at parents and/or siblings heads.
- After 30 minutes of one move, demands will be made for a NEW MOVIE. This will happen every 30 minutes into eternity.
- Long legged toddler makes a game of kicking the back of the driver's seat. Again, into eternity.
- Infant cries for 40 minutes, sleeps for an hour, cries for 40 minutes, ETERNITY. In the even the baby cries for LESS than 40 minutes, you can be sure your toddler will start wailing to get things going again.
- Crying. In stereo.
As long as everyone arrives at your destination and no more than three (3) Band Aids were used, your trip is considered a SUCCESS!