Monday, April 12, 2010

Some days I'm not very good at this

I though I would share a moment of awesome parenting with you my blog readers and friends, may of whom also have two littles. 


On Friday, we made our weekly trek to Trader Joe's.  So, a bit of layout - the spaces in the TJ's parking lot are perpendicular to the store, so the very first row of spaces are directly in front of the sidewalk in front of the store.  When you pull in, the nose of your car abuts the sidewalk.  You dig?  That front row of spaces are the money spots.  We scored one.


I grabbed a cart, buckled Miles into the seat, and went back to get Oscar. Now, the TJ parking lot is on a hill (this is what we call FORESHADOWING.)  Not an extremely steep hill or anything, but a noticeable hill.  I had the cart sort of anchored against the car so it wouldn't roll away while I got Oscar out of the car. The cart was kind of tandem with the car, but not entirely so because if I did that, the cart would block the sidewalk completely and that's not cool.  


Oscar was asleep so it took a minute to get him awake and out of the car.   And by "a minute" I mean about 20 seconds.  The whole time I'm unbuckling Oscar's seat, I'm glancing over at Miles, grinning at him, talking to him, etc., but I had to ignore him completely for about three seconds while pulled Oscar from the car (again with the FORESHADOWING.)


Well, apparently the cart was not anchored as well as I thought and as I pulled Oscar from the car and stood him on the ground, I looked back to Miles and noticed he was not there anymore because the cart was ROLLING DOWN THE FUCKING SIDEWALK. FAST. Like rocketing down the hill.  So, I run to get Miles probably as fast as I've ever run in my life (who is laughing hysterically) and he's like three or four cars away before I catch him OHMYFUCKINGGOD.


I snag the cart and immediate realize OHMYFUCKINGGOD, I left my not-quite-three-year-old ALONE IN BETWEEN TWO CARS to go fetch Miles. Thankfully I've put the fear of god in him when it comes to cars, so he did not run out into traffic, but followed me up to the sidewalk (we were parked in front of the sidewalk, you'll remember.) 


Surprisingly, I succeed in not killing either of my children.  We proceeded into the store.  And then, we got into the store and started shopping and Oscar lost his shit and we had to go back out to the car (with unpaid for groceries in my cart) to get his bunny MYBUNNYMYBUNNYINEEDMYBUNNYWHEREISBUNNYLETSGOGETHIMGETHIMGETBUNNY.


AND THEN, after we came back in and he got his free TJs cookies he started crying for his water, which he'd left in the car and I refused to go back out of the store a second time because our cart was seriously full and were were 3/4 of the way done shopping, so he followed me around crying his brains out for 20 minutes. I even offered him a juice box in place of his water and he refused. Refused juice!  Fucking asshole (did I just say that?), like I need him crying in the store making me look like a terrible parent.  I do a damn good job of that on my own, thank you very much.

SO. To summarize: 1) Let baby in shopping cart roll down hill; 2)Left preschooler in parking lot between two cars; 3) Let dehydrated preschooler cry his face off in grocery store and suffer with no water to wash down his free cookies. 4) Called preschooler and asshole for being thirsty (but not to his face)

17 comments:

VandyJ said...

Brave you to go to the store with both of them. And you made it home with both of them--no worse for the wear, I say you did OK.

Mommy, I'm Home said...

Hey, score one for mom for not calling the preschooler an asshole to his face....:)

Mrsbear said...

Sigh. You know what? Sometimes kids ARE assholes. And sometimes, the planets align to make shitty things happen in public. Bright side. Safe unhurt babies and only mom's bruised pride. You did just fine. :)

rachel said...

hahahahahaaaa! I'm sorry but that was a really well written post. I laughed to tears...

ps. you're a great mom :)

Pamela said...

sounds like a banner day. also, my word is cesswal. so let's change that to sounds like a cesswal day. I don't really know what cesswal is, but it's bad fo.sho.

Leanne said...

They are alive and you noticed they could be in danger. You just do the best you can, ya know?

And I'd love to call my 12 year son an asshole to his face too and I still haven't. Kudos to both of us.

Love the rant...thanks for sharing.

Jan said...

As a parent who HAS called her (older) children assholes to their faces - hey, they WERE - I can completely empathize.

Someday I'll have to tell you how I lost my 18-month-old Oldest Son in the mall.

Strawberry said...

Aw, days like that suck big time. But you handled it as well as you could've. My kid's not even a year yet and I've thought "little asshole" quite a few times. lol.

Heidi said...

Tell me there was some Two Buck Chuck in your cart to chase down that morning with!

Hey, you all made it home in one piece - score one for mom.

gretchen said...

Hehehehe.

Your Trader Joe's gives away free cookies?! All we get at ours is a lousy balloon.

Keely said...

Um. I've done that. And I only have ONE kid. No hill, but he just about made it onto the road when there was a car coming. I think my body geared up for the heart attack it's eventually going to have.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Hm, no one died or was seriously injured...
I'd call it a win.

Jamie said...

Awesome post! Laughing and TERRIFIED for #2 to makes it's appearance all at once. Mission accomplished.

Frogs in my formula said...

You're human. No one was hurt. I didn't want to laugh at your post, but I did...hehehhe

Stimey said...

Sometimes, kids are just assholes. Incidentally, my word verification is "fluck" which is maybe a word you could use in your tougher moments.

Okay, this sucks. What a nightmare. I'm glad you all made it home safely! (Note: we should never go out together.)

Barbara said...

Well, at least you didn't say it to his face. Other than that, it all sounds quite normal in my world.

Captain Dumbass said...

Well, it could have been better, but hey, score on the post!