Thursday, May 20, 2010
Miles is officially weaned and I'm really sad about it. He'd cut down to just once a day (at night) and would only nurse on one breast. He has a lot of teeth and (unfortunately) was not afraid to use them. He's been nursing less and less, some nights not at all. It was too the point where he'd nurse greedily if I offered it to him, but he was no longer asking to nurse. So I stop offering.
It's been more than a week. I was a little itchy and uncomfortable at first, but it wasn't too bad. Mostly I just feel sad. I decided that if Miles asked to nurse, I would let him. He did ask once, when he woke up at night teething, but since I night weaned him months ago, I refused. And since then, nothing.
I have to admit that part of me was really hoping that he'd ask to nurse again and I'm disappointed that he just let it go so easily. Not that I wanted to fight with him over it; I guess I'm just not entirely ready to be done breast feeding Miles. He's been such a good nurser and he so lovely and cuddly. From that very first latch, he's been a champ. He would cling on to my shirt and gaze lovingly into my eyes as I nursed him, occasionally breaking his latch to grin at me. When he was an infant, he'd take these big swigs - you could hear is gulping the milk down - and he'd heave this huge sigh when he finished. It is also just really gratifying when your body can nourish your baby like that, and they love it so much.
After two days of no nursing, Miles attached to a little, stuffed bunny. It's already ragged beyond recognition. When I was reading about toddler weaning, the article said that if the child suddenly attaches to a blanket or stuff animal, that's a sign they've been weaned too early. So that makes me feel awesome.
Anyways, that it. I'm sad, a little guilty, but mostly sad. My baby is growing up and I'm just not quite ready.