Scene: Early AM several weeks ago. Jenni is showering while Oscar and Miles play in adjacent rooms, alternately wandering in and out of the bathroom and torturing each other. Oscar steps into bathroom just as Jenni steps out out shower.
Oscar: Momma! What happened to your penis?
Jenni: Uh, nothing. [Assuming Oscar is much to young for this conversation.]
Oscar: But what happened to it?
Jenni: Don't worry about it. Can I have some privacy, please?
Scene: Oscarelli family car, two or three weeks following above incident.
Oscar: Dada, do you have a penis?
Jenni and Nelson exchange look.
Nelson: Yes, Oscar, I do.
Oscar: Oh, okay. Does Momma have a penis?
Nelson: No, Momma does not have a penis.
Jenni: Because Momma is a girl and girls don't have a penis.
Jenni: Because that just the way it is, Oscar. Boys have a penis and girls do not.*
Oscar: Okay, Momma.
Scene: Oscarelli family car, a few days later. Nelson, Jenni, Oscar, and Miles are all present.
Oscar: Momma, do you have a penis?
Jenni: No, Oscar.
Oscar: Because you are a girl.
Jenni: Yes, that's right.
Oscar: Dada has a penis?
Nelson: Yes, I do.
Oscar: Because Dada is a boy?
Jenni: What about Miles? Does he have a penis?
Oscar: Yes! Miles has a penis. He's a boy. What about Meme? Does Meme have a penis? Meme does have a penis! [laughing]
Jenni: She does?!
Oscar: No, [laughing] Meme doesn't have a penis! She's a girl!
NOTE: Oscar now feels comfortable asking pretty much anyone he meets if they have a penis, or informing them that they do or do not have a penis. It's really awesome, especially in public.
*Yes, I realize that there is some wiggle room in the whole "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina" statement, but we'll get to that later. Much later.