Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Good hearts

My grandmother passed away about a week and a half ago.  We traveled up north for several days last week for her funeral.  (Sorry, burglars, you missed your chance.)  She was my last living grandparent and had been suffering from dementia for some years, though my aunt and uncles assure me she did ask after me from time to time, "You were always in her heart," my aunt told me.  As she has been in mine.

A friend of mine and I were talking about funerals, and how they are such strange things.  Filled with grief and loss and sadness, but also a time time of love and support and family.  Sad occasions, but they bring they bring people together.

It was a very sad event, but something quite amazing and unexpected happened.  I realized that I am surrounded by love.  I have so much love coming at me from all directions, places I didn't even know to look.  Love without expectations or exceptions or unwritten rules.  Just love.

The love just poured out at me, and at my boys.  Hugs and kisses and hands held and babies passed around. Laughter.  So many "I love yous" and "I miss yous" it was very nearly overwhelming, though in a good way.  It lifted me up and carried me through and I'm still feeling a little high on all this love.

"We Peschis, we have such good hearts," my cousin said.

He is right.  We do have good hearts.  It felt good to be surrounded and loved by so many good hearts.

10 comments:

Barbara said...

I am glad that you are finding a silver lining in your clouds. You are loved from across the internet too.

Stacie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. I hope you're able to remember all the good times.

Heather said...

So sorry to hear about your grandmother Jenni. You're right about one of the happy things that comes out of something sad like this is that the whole family comes together in a reunion of sorts. There is nothing like family to make you feel loved.

Momma Hunt said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. It is odd how the universe works that just at an event where we need love most, there it is waiting for us

Jan said...

Oh, Jenni, I'm so sorry for your loss. You've just been through a heck of a time here lately. But it's so nice to see that you're surrounded by love - Barbara's right, you're loved from across the internet, too.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I never liked to say aloud what I liked about funerals, but you're completely right. The best part about coming together for the loss of a loved one is remembering the love you share for each other. Sorry again for your loss, Jenni, but I love what you took away from it.

Susanica said...

You have a great heart Jenni. That's why we love you so much. We wouldn't leave our boy (and soon boys) with just anyone you know ;-) You're right about the odd beauty of funerals. Talk to you soon. -M

Mrsbear said...

I'm sorry about your grandmother, but love like that is a powerful thing. I'm sure basking in it was a healing experience.

Maybe its me said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. Family love really does carry you through the hard times. When my grandfather died, we were all at the hospital together. There was so much comfort having my whole family there. I hated to leave them that day. I felt so alone once I left. Even though it was a very sad time, I was happy to be back with all of them at the funeral.

I'm glad that you see how much love is around you and that it is bringing you the comfort you need.

thebearandroo said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, Jenni. This has been a rough go for you lately. {hugs}