Warning: Gratuitous use of the "F" word below.
There is something going on in the world of texting and Facebook updating that I feel the need to address. The over use of the acronyms FML (Fuck my Life) and FTW (Fuck the World) in texting and status updates has got to stop. For those not in the know, FML and FTW are exclamations placed at the end of a status update or text message to express a person's frustration and/or anger at a specific occurrence or situation. The exclamations are often meant to be sarcastic but my argument is that these exclamations are ridiculous, over the top, and irritating and as this is my blog, I am correct in this argument. Let me convince you.
I mean, fuck your life because you have a lot of laundry? Really? Or because your kids are being jerks or you have flat tire? Your whole entire life? Just fuck it? The whole thing? Fuck the world because there is a lot of traffic? Because you received poor customer service? The entire planet should just go fuck itself because of your individual lousy circumstances? Isn't that just a little bit selfish? I just feel like fucking your whole life or the entire world is pretty drastic and people often say them for pretty, basic, regular everyday situations.
Yes lots of laundry and misbehaving children suck, but your life is really not so terrible because these situations exist. I mean you have children who you love and clothing to wear, right? Score! Or bad drivers and jerky customer service reps - yeah, they suck, but they really aren't worthy of fucking the WHOLE WORLD are they? You have means to travel and money to buy things. That doesn't sound so bad to me. Like, maybe if you lost all your limbs or something, then you could say "I have no arms and legs. FML!" Or even, "My wife just left me, FML!" But even then you are still ALIVE and could maybe get prosthetics or something, and if your wife left you maybe you will find a better wife next time because this sea, it has lots of fish.
And if you are going to say "Fuck the world" the circumstances should be pretty extreme, like "Nuclear proliferation is eventually going to kill everyone. FTW!" or "This AIDS pandemic is really killing a lot of people. FTW!" or "One day the sun is going to go all supernova on our asses and then it's 'Bye-bye planet Earth!' FTW!" These are truly serious situations in which the world may indeed be fucked.
I just think we should stop being so dramatic with our texting/status updating, okay America? So, instead of typing FML when you get a flat tire in the rain or you get stuck in traffic, maybe type, MLSRN (My Luck Sucks Right Now) or, TCRBGBFM (Things Could Really Be Going Better For Me), or even the more optimistic MDCOGB (My Day Can Only Get Better.)
Now, if the situation is a little more extreme, like you have been diagnosed with a serious disease, or a tree falls on your house, you can use stronger language. I suggest, TUIRSWMT (The Universe is Really Screwing with Me Today) or perhaps DWCIGAB (Dear World Can I Get a Break) or WAYKMWTC (World, Are You Kidding Me With This Crap.)
I think we should all try to incorporate my new acronyms into popular texting vernacular. Together we can make a difference and end the use of overly dramatic acronyms in texts and status updates.