Friday, January 29, 2010

Two Things I Never Knew Before Becoming a Parent

1. That I would take such an interest someone else's bowel movements; and

2. That I would demand to see and be elated by someone else's poop in the toilet.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sleep Issues: When it Rains, it Pours

The surest way to ensure your baby stops sleeping through the night? Brag about it on your blog.

Oscar woke last night at around 1:30AM, after Oscar woke in his big boy bed crying for his Dad. Miles then proceeded to cry intermittently for the next two hours. I think I've said before that Miles sleep in a room adjoining ours and while we do close the door between the rooms, the crying is still awful loud. Even though it was only intermittent, I decided to leave our room at around 3:30 so I could get some rest before getting up at 5:30. I slept in Oscar's empty big boy bed.

At that point, Miles really ramped it up an cried hard for 30 minutes before falling asleep. He woke again at 5:15 and I took him to the big bed where he promptly crashed out on my chest. I then overslept by almost an hour and had no time to shower this morning.

Oscar? Not loving the big boy bed. I went out to dinner with friends last night leaving my mom and Nelson to put the boys down. Apparently, Miles went down like a dream, but Oscar fought tooth and nail until Nelson relented and put Oscar down in our bed. He moved Oscar back at around 11:30, but Oscar was up again at 1:30 wanting to come back to the big bed.

So, what's the deal with the crying, folks? We have been faithfully crying-it-out for several weeks. Now, Miles had is never ending ear infection that stalled things for a bit, but since he got his second round of antibiotics nearly two weeks ago, it's been game on again. Two weeks of CIO and maybe four nights of sleeping through and he back to crying? I mean, come on. I'm getting close to breaking here.

And, Oscar. I'm willing to allow that this is a transitional time for him. Switching beds is a big deal. Now I'm thinking that maybe we should not have gone full-blown big boy bed and should have first gone with a toddler bed. Oscar's crib will convert, but we'd been hoping that in a week or two we could move Miles into Oscar's room and crib. Obviously, this plan is not going to work if we can't get Oscar to sleep in the big bed. There's not room for the big bed, the toddler bed, and a crib in Oscar's room.

I'm throwing myself at your mercy, dear friends. All of your more experienced parents, what should we do? Should we try the toddler bed and wait to move Miles into Oscar's room? Should we just go ahead and move Miles in and hope that makes Oscar and Miles both feel more secure? And what about Miles? Any suggests on what to do with Miles when CIO isn't working?

Oh and Miles hasn't nursed since around 2PM yesterday (he's missed two feedings) and is showing no signs of wanting to nurse. I tried to nurse him after breakfast and no deal. I'm feeling a little heartbroken by this.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

RTT: Praising, Prepardness, and Peacful Nights

It's Tuesday, yea!
randomtuesday
*Oscar spent his first night in his big boy bed last night. He fell out. No injuries, but he refused to get back in, "Can I go sleep in your bed now?" It was one in the morning so I totally relented.

*MW has been sleeping through until 5 or 6 in the morning. Hallelujah!

*MW is also teething like crazy and has been cranky and miserable. I'm so not used to my ball of sunshine baby being so unhappy. I hope he pops those suckers out soon.

*My mom is visiting this week. Again, hallelujah!

*I've been having these really creepy dreams. I don't quite remember them, but they always wake me with a loud noise, and when I wake up I'm never certain if the noise was in the dream or in real life. Once it was someone screaming and once it was someone knocking on the door. This, at like 2AM. Very creepy, particularly for someone who tends toward getting creep out fairly easily.

*I just finished reading The Flood by Margaret Atwood and I'm feeling compelled to make that emergency preparedness kit all DC residents were instructed to make eight and a half years ago, though I'm kind of feeling like three days worth of supplies is not enough. Why is it that I find fiction more motivating than reality? Terrorists flying planes into buildings 20 miles from my house? Anthrax letters delivered 5 miles from my workplace? Meh. A flesh liquefying virus distributed via sexual enhancement drugs? Gah! Time to stock up!

*Oscar has a recent obsession with monster trucks, and obsession that he's passed along to Danny (sorry, Susanne and Monica!). We have this super low quality video circa 1993 that he watches obsessively. It's really terrible. There's this "magic genie" in it call Hard Had Harry. Yeah, it's that bad. Anyways, Nelson is taking Oscar to an actual Monster Truck Rally next month. It's going to be ridiculous. Oscar is going to LOVE it. I'll be staying home with MW, because I'm sure it's going to be way too loud. For Miles. Ahem.

That's all I got for today. Head on over to Keely's for some more Random Thoughts.

Monday, January 25, 2010

No, Officer, There's No Emergency. This is Just My Life.

I don't know about you, but bed and bath time round these parts is a circus. There's yelling, and screaming, and laughing, and splashing, and running, and peeing on the floor, and ninja-like antics to avoid dressing, and probably some elephants too and I just don't notice because OHMYGOD it's INSANE.

The basic itinerary of events goes something like this:

6:15PM to 6: 35PM - Dinner
6:35PM to 6:50PM - Play Time
6:50PM to 7:00PM - General Mayhem, Insanity (also know as undressing/de-diapering two small children; may or may not include screaming, crying, slamming doors, and fleeing parents)
7:00PM to 7:10PM - Bath (a.k.a Tsunami Time)
7:10PM to 7:25PM - PJs/Tooth Brushing/Pee Everywhere/More Mayhem
7:25PM to ??? - Nursing/Story Time/Snuggling/Bed Time

All of this is subject to change and give or take 10 or 15 minutes, but this is pretty much how things go. During this hour and a half or so of my life, I pretty much feel like I'm surrounded by maniacs and taking crazy pills. It's good times.

One evening several months ago, things were going pretty much as I've listed above. It was post dinner and the boys were playing with Nelson and I in the living room. Oscar and Nelson were playing trucks; Miles was fooling with the phone.

I went upstairs to use the bathroom unmolested and to run the tub. I called for Nelson to bring the boys up shortly later.

Hello, General Mayhem, Insanity.

So, I am chasing Oscar and trying to get him undressed; Oscar is running from me and flipping out - screaming bloody murder, "NONONONONO BATH! AAAAHHHHH!" And I'm in turn yelling, "Yes bath! Come on! Lets go!" Nelson is trying to undress Miles who's crying very loudly and dramatically and the injustice of having his onsie removed against his will.

In this very moment, the dogs start going ape shit. So I yell down the stairs, "DOGS! There better be someone with a machete on our doorstep!" Well, there wasn't someone with a machete (surprise!), but there was someone with a gun (double surprise!).

"Nelson! There's a cop at our door!"

"What?! A cop!"

"Yeah! Are we that loud? Did someone call the cops on us?!"

"I don't know; I'll go down."

Nelson goes downstairs to talk with the officer while I continue to wrestle with our screaming and unwieldy kids.

He returns five minutes later.

"What was that all about?"

"Someone dial 9-1-1 from the house, but no one said anything into the phone."

"Miles!"

"Yeah, and when they tried to call back, there was no answer; just a busy signal. I just checked the phone and it was still on."

"Holy crap!"

"Yeah, so they thought there might be a domestic disturbance so they sent the cop over to check it out."

"Oh my god are you serious?"

"I told him that the kids had probably called 9-1-1 by accident and then he verified my name and left."

"Didn't he hear the insanity up here? Wasn't he concerned?"

"Yeah, but I told him it was bath time and he was like, 'Oh, okay,' and that was that."

And that was that.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Toddlers are Weird

Scene: A few moments ago in the living room. Oscar is making strange faces, sticking his fingers in his mouth, rubbing his face.

Jenni: Oscar, what are you doing?

Oscar:...(contorting lips in strange expression.)

Jenni: Are you okay buddy? Is something wrong?

Oscar: I have big teeth, Mommy, big teeth in my mouth.

Jenni: Oh, okay. Do they hurt?

Oscar: Nope, they're just big.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

RTT: Is it Tuesday Already??

Wow, Tuesday, huh? I didn't even realize that until I was scrolling through my reader and noticed all the fugly purple buttons. So, Tuesday!

randomtuesday

*I slammed my finger in the pocket door this morning, between the first and second knuckle. And the door original to our house, so probably weighs a ton. It hurt. It still hurts.

*We've been touring preschools for Oscar. I've been drafting a whole post about it, but it's really kind of boring and I don't want to subject you guys to it. The just: Do I go with the less expensive, less educational (my personal opinion), co-op option where I will fit in better with the more crunchy parents; or do I go with the more expensive (to the tune of 30%) non-co-op option, where there is more of a focus on learning in addition to social development, and I will not fit in with the Manolo moms? The co-op is cheaper, but there is more work; the non-co-op has no parental involvement requirement, but is quite a bit more expensive and I can't decide of the luxury of my time is worth the extra money. What to do? There are other issues; maybe I'll just publish the stupid post so you can all tell me how much I'm over thinking this. I'm really waffling.

*Potty training in the house, y'all! We've got some major peeing AND pooping the potty happening around these parts, and not just by the grown ups. Oscar is still in his diapers, but is probably peeing in the potty 50% of the time and pooping in the potty 90-100% of the time. Is it possibly that 75% of the Oscarelli household will be using the toilet full time in the near future? Dare I dream?

*I made some super delicious rye bread for dinner last night. So good.

*I'm working on declutttering certain zones of my house. I like to keep things somewhat tidy which is difficult for me because I'm not tidy person by nature. I really have to force myself. But, as such, we have these little areas that collect clutter - mail to be shredded; photos that need to be organized and put into albums; Oscar's artwork that needs sorting; framed photos waiting to be hung; books to be put into bookcases; keepsakes for baby books. These kind of things. Does everyone else have this too? Anyways, I decluttered the top of Nelson's dresser last week and it was awesome. I'm going to declutter out bookcase this week. I'm debating if I should take a before and after photo to post here on the blog, but is that so boring? Who wants to read about my decluttering?

*I'm really feeling like a bore these days. I need to pick a sports team to follow or read the paper or pay attention to the weather. If I'm not talking about my kids or cleaning I got nothing.

And on that note, go hit up Keely's other RTT participants. They surely have better things to say.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

And Then There Was Pee Pee

Last night, after some yelling and crying and running in circles and many declarations of intent to urinate, Oscar pee-peed in the potty.

He'd been running around naked for quite awhile pre and post bath, covering his bottom, farting profusely, and finally announced, "I have to poop! I have to poop on the potty!"

Nelson took him into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet beside Oscar's potty, modeling potty behavior as we have been for months. But, Oscar wouldn't stay put. He kept jumping up from the potty and running around in circles shrieking.

Nelson got frustrated and thought maybe Oscar was just trying to delay bedtime (entirely possible) and told him no, no more potty, at which point Oscar burst into fat, hot tears and began wailing about his need for potty.

Then, he asked Nelson to leave the bathroom; he wanted his privacy. Oscar shut the door and we hear him saying, "There's pee-pee in there. I just gotta try. I gotta try and pee-pee. I gotta try and poop. I just gotta try and use the potty."

He popped in and out of the bathroom three or four times, and then I finally told him he needed to try one more time, then it was time for bed.

So he did.

"I just gotta try. I just gotta try an pee-pee in the potty."

He came out 30 seconds later, grinning.

"Did you do it?"

"No, there's no poop in there."

"No poop?"

So I went to check and he wasn't lying; there was no poop.

Oh, but there was pee.

"Oscar! What is that? Did you pee-pee in the potty?"

"Yeah, Mommy. I pee-peed in the potty," he said, and then he stuck his hands in it.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

RTT: A Whiny, Tired Mess

Blah, blah, blah...Random Tuesdays!
randomtuesday
*So, since sleeping through once last week, MW has yet to repeat that feat. Instead, he wakes at least once and cries for 2-10 minutes (sometime he wakes twice and cries for an hour the first time); sleeps until 4:45; nurses; sleeps until 6ish. I'm really annoyed. Like what the hecks, Miles? Sleep already, SLEEP.

*Last night (this morning) he woke at 3 crying, but also with a disgusting runny nose. So, yea, cold! Really going to help with the whole sleep through the night thing. What'd I ever do to you, karma? Can you cut me a little slack here? I'm just a tired momma going on three years with no good sleep. Why do you hate me?

*Oscar, who was sleeping in our bed again, woke at 4 and has stayed awake.

*Reason #1 Why Nelson Should Not Have His Own Alarm Clock: He accidentally sets it for an hour early; where and hour early equals 4AM.

*Reason #2 Why Nelson Should Not Have His Own Alarm Clock: He hits the snooze instead of turning it off; gets in the shower; alarm goes off again waking whole entire family.

*Have I ever mentioned that my husband has his PhD in engineering? And the man can't figure out how to work an alarm clock.

*When I was getting dressed this morning, I pulled a T-shirt out of the clean hamper to find it covered in stains that were not there when I put it in the wash. I know this because I checked it so I could put Oxy Clean on any stains because I always have stains and I know this. Also? It had two holes in it. This really pisses me off because I just bought the damn shirt maybe four months ago? Am I wrong to expect more than four months of wearability out of a shirt I get from the G.ap? Well, I threw it out and I'm never buy another shirt from there ever again. Also, G.ap? Your jeans are not worth $80. For real.

*My children are whiny and overtired.

*I am whiny and overtired.

*Nelson tried to make coffee for me this morning to atone for all the additional wakings he caused, and he put coffee in the coffee maker SANS BASKET. That went well.

*He cleaned it up and did make actual coffee.

Happy Tuesday! Hope yours is going better than mine.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm Not Lucky; I Have Good Taste in Men

I was reading a post last week written by a new mom. An exhausted new mom. She was blogging about how thankful she was that her husband helped out around the house and with the baby. How lucky she felt. And her point was well taken by me - she was exhausted and trying to do too much and her husband stepped in and said, "Hey, you don't have to do it all; I'm here to help." That is as it should be.

Is she lucky that her husband recognized she was overwhelmed and expressed his desire to help more? Yes, I think she is. What bothered me though is that several of the commenter's on the post said she was lucky to have a husband that helped out at all - that cooked dinner and cleaned up and fed that baby - and I could not disagree more.

Nelson does not "help" with the boys. He is my partner is raising them. That means that together we feed them and bathe them and dress them and taken them on outings and play with them. Sometimes he does those things alone; sometimes I do. But it's not luck. It's called parenting and it's his job too. I don't feel lucky that he actively parents our children. It's what a father should do and how a father should behave.

And, while I do the bulk of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and laundry around here, Nelson participates on those fronts as well. He takes out the garbage, picks up toys, puts away laundry; he does these things without my asking (well, usually) and he does more if I ask.

Again, I don't feel lucky because my husband helps with household chores. It's that status quo around here and I think it should be the status quo everywhere. Yes, I'm home full-time and yes, I still expect him to work around the house. Sure, he's tired after his day at work, but you know what? SO AM I. Nelson will be the first person to tell you that my job is harder than his job. Chasing children and changing diapers and wiping noses and breaking up fights and kissing boo-boos is HARD WORK. It ain't all blogging and bonbons.

I guess what bothers me is that women with participatory partners are seen as "lucky." I just think that's bullshit. I think it is okay for women to expect their husbands (or wives or partners or whatever) to be part of raising children and taking care of the home. I think women should expect it, and women who don't expect it are letting themselves down and not putting enough faith in their partner's ability to contribute to the household and child rearing.

So, no, I do not feel lucky that my husband is and active partner is raising our children and working around the house.

Yes, I feel lucky to have Nelson, but for other reasons. I feel lucky that he is caring and loving and intuitive and that he respects me and accepts me for who I am. I feel lucky that he's handy and can repair most things that break around the house. I feel lucky that he has such a good job and does it so well and is able to provide financially for our family. I feel lucky that even when he is uncertain he still tries to do the right thing.

But the fact that he's an active parent who contributes to our household? I wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would Nelson. I mean, no he doesn't enjoy doing chores (who does?), but he does enjoy parenting our children.

And that is not luck on my part; that's good taste in men.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Dear So and So...Thanks a Bunch

Dear Miles William,

Thank you so much for sleeping through the night last night. Yes, it took three painful nights of listening to your heart wrenching sobs, and yes, my heart nearly broke, but. BUT, I'm really glad you're sleeping through. If I were a Christian woman I'd be praising the lord right now, that's how happy I am at this little miracle. Please keep it up.

Your stock is rising, kid.

Love,
MAMA

*****

Dear Oscar,

I'm so tickled at your excitement to visit a potential preschool later this morning. I'm also a little heartbroken. Are you really so eager to leave me for two and a half whole hours a day, three days a week? Although I'm slightly suspicious that you don't realized you'll be attending school without me. Well, we have 8 months to work on that.

Love,
Mommy (Code Name: Jenni)

*****

Dear Mother Nature,

Thanks for leaving little more than an inch of snow on the ground last night. The dusting is lovely and still allows for vehicle maneuverability and minimal shoveling.

Regards,
Jenni

*****

Dear Kat,

Thanks for being such a lovely host! It's always a pleasure.

xo,
Jenni
Dear So and So...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Cry, Baby

We're back to cry-it-out with Miles William. At nearly 13 months, he's still waking 2-3 times a night. Enough is enough.

Easier said than done, of course.

There's the issue of his ear infection, which was making his already shitty sleep schedule even shittier. He's been on the antibiotics since Friday though, so really that's not so much of an issue any more.

Then there's the issue of night weaning. Yes, he still nurses at night. Multiple times. Or, he was until this week. Miles is officially night weaned.

And so we arrive at cry-it-out. Monday night was our first official night.

Now, he's been waking at 11pm for months. Since August. I know, right? August. He usually wakes at 11, at 2, and at 5. Can you believe that? My one-year-old is keeping the hours of a newborn.

Good thing is, he hasn't been waking at 11 for the past two nights. On Sunday (one of the worst nights of my life) he woke for the first time at 2 and last night he didn't wake until after 3.

Last night, we let him cry.

He cried for about an hour straight. It sucked.

He cried for another hour intermittently (quite for 5-15 minutes; crying for 3-5 minutes). This was actually worse because Miles would be quiet just long enough for Nelson and I to drift off, and he'd start up again.

He was asleep just before 5 and woke again shortly after six and was pretty much up for the day after that.

Last night, he started crying around 12:30 and kept it up for about 45 minutes, and intermittently for another 30 minutes or so. He cried out once or twice every 45 minutes or so all night - no sustained crying, but it was certainly enough to keep me from getting a good night's sleep. When he woke at 5, I took him into the bed and nursed and snuggled for nearly an hour.

I'm feeling exhausted. This is right around the time I usually give in. Night three - I'm so exhausted, and if I just take him into the bed and nurse him we will all get some sleep. And that is true enough, but it's certainly not a good long term solution. In fact, it does more to hurt than to help; it reverses any progress we've made.

So, tonight I vow to stay strong. Consistency is key (say it with me!)

It's got to get better.

RTT: Fortunes, Foreshadowing, and Fresh Bread

It's Tuesday folks and I am ready to bang this post OUT! As always, thanks to Keely for the inspiration.
randomtuesday

*We got Chinese for dinner Monday, on account of my extreme exhausting (see yesterday's post) and my fortune was, "You are always welcome in any gathering." That's nice and all (and obviously true) but that's not really a fortune, is it? A fortune should be something to do with your future or a change in fate. Being well liked and a good party guest isn't really about fate. It's about social skills. There is a slight possibility I'm over thinking this.

*The other fortune cookie I opened said "Your dearest dream is coming true." Now that is a fortune.

*I started cloth diapering the boys last month. I was just tired of all the rashes and the weird disposable diaper smell and the stinky garbage and just the quantity of garbage. And, I'm loving it. Yes, I have to do an extra load of laundry every other day but it's not such a big deal. I'm kind of hoping it well help get Oscar ready for toilet training. He said the day, "Mommy, my penis is cold" when his diaper was wet, and he was distinctly displeased about it. Yeah, it's not going to help at all, is it?

*On that note, I told Oscar last night that starting today he has to sit on the potty every morning after he wakes up and every evening before bed. He said okay, but I think he's learned how to just say what I want to hear as a means of placating me.

*On Sunday, I heard Oscar call out the words, "Miles! Come here, Miles! I need your help!" And then I felt the ice cold sensation of terror running down my spine because there is no way Oscar was up to any good. And what could a one-year-old possibly do to "help" a two-year-old? Shenanigans, that's what. I am in so much trouble with these two.

*I got a DSLR camera for Christmas. I got it a few weeks early, actually, so I could get used to it and have it for Christmas morning. Want to see some photos? Well, you can't because I broke it. Two days before Christmas. I was bitching at Nelson and I dropped it right on the lens. Luckily we got an extended protection plan and it's been in the shop for two weeks now. Possibly I should bitch less at my husband? Bah!

*I received a beautiful Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer for Christmas from Nelson's mom and a whole grain cookbook from my brother-and-sister-in-law, so I've begun making my own bread. I love it. I can't believe it's taken me this long to start. It tastes so much better and it relaxes me. And, the kids and Nelson love it. Oscar begs for a piece of bread like other kids beg for cookies. I'm doing mostly sandwich loaves because we eat a lot of sandwiches and toast in these parts, but I attemped baguettes and I'm going to do some other shaped loaves this week.

*I also made some chewy whole wheat chocolate chip cookies that may be the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever baked in my life. They are amazing.

*I didn't do a HASAY post yesterday, but I gained nearly 8 lbs over the holidays. No worries - I'm back on the dieting horse. Right after I finish these cookies.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Sometimes You Get it All Wrong

Miles has an ear infection. I totally missed it. He'd had a horrible cold, had been terribly cranky, and was sleeping even worse than usual. We took him to Urgent Care on Friday and got him some antibiotics.

The sleep was awful Friday (and by awful, I mean waking every hour; only sleeping when held up right; doing a fair bit of crying even when being held upright because he was in so much pain), but a bit better Saturday (up between 2-3, but otherwise sleeping well.)

Last night when I put him down I had high hopes for an even better night. He was clearly feeling better and had napped fairly well. Miles was down by 7:30; Oscar by 8. I was in bed and asleep by 9:30. After nearly a week of serious sleep deprivation, I was trying to maximize my sleep time, especially given that the next day (today, Monday) I had to be up at 5:30.

At around 10:30, Oscar woke up crying. He'd had a nightmare and needed to be comforted. Had I been less exhausted, I'd have rocked him in his room and put him back down. But, I was exhausted. So I just grabbed him up and took him into the big bed.

This was my fatal error; the mistake that ensured my entire evening would be going straight down the crapper.

Miles cried out once around 2. At this point, I though to myself, "Hmm, I should probably move Oscar back to his room so Miles doesn't wake him." Miles sleeps in a room adjoining ours, so the crying is pretty loud. Well, I didn't move Oscar because I'm a fucking idiot. And I was exhausted. And I naively believed that maybe, just maybe it would just be that one cry and that Miles would sleep through.

Right.

Not ten minutes later, Miles was awake and crying. It was a very tired, sporadic, and not very loud cry. I decided to let him cry it out since he wasn't in distress; just awake and tired. And I've been night weaning (which was completely messed up by the ear infection) so I've been trying to go to him less and send Nelson more.

Oscar woke up after about 10 minutes of the sporadic crying.

I convinced him to just be quiet and snuggle down for a bit, but after about 15 minutes of this he yells out "GAY!" (the whole "Gay" thing is a whole post in itself) and the Miles kicks it into high gear.

(I'd like to mention here that Nelson has been asleep the whole fucking time. Like right next to me.)

I take Oscar into his bedroom to rock him, thinking Miles likely only has another 20 minutes of crying in him and I can get Oscar down in that time and we can all be asleep again by 3.

It was not to be, because Nelson finally woke up and decided to rock Miles. Which is fine, but it kind on ruins the whole cry-it-out scenario because Miles is not going to sleep for Nelson. He's going to doze and wake screaming again when Nelson puts him down and it will take another 45 minutes of crying for him to get himself to sleep.

So this exact thing happens. Nelson cannot get Miles down, and I can hear him getting frustrated. Miles is crying in Nelson's arms. Oscar can't go to sleep with all the ruckus. I put Oscar in his crib with a promise to return and got tell Nelson to put Miles in his crib and let him cry and I go back to Oscar.

I'm listening to Miles cry in the next room. He cries for about two minutes, sleeps for about two minutes. This goes on and on, so I decided I needed to check on him.

I bring Oscar to our room to lie down and check on Miles, who is obviously uncomfortable at this point with all the waking/sleeping in two minute intervals (it's maybe 3:15, 3:30 a this point) and I argue with Nelson for a minute (Did you give him any water? Any Motrin? What did you do? I don't know what you want me to do! Gah!) (really awesome) then I give Miles some water and I hold him and rock him for maybe a half an hour.

Miles falls asleep (Oscar is still awake rolling around in the bed, asking Nelson questions about TV and the sun and snow and and and) and I take him to lie down with me (and the other 40 people in my bed.)

He's almost instantly crying and rubbing his head, so I give him Motrin and rock him again. This time he falls asleep hard and we go to the big bed (Oscar is still awake) and we sleep until about five AM (less than an hour. And by "we" I mean Miles.)

Then Miles wakes up and feels awesome and he and Oscar start playing. In the bed. In between me and Nelson. To preserve our (Nelson and my) sanity, I move Miles back to his crib and let him cry again since it's pretty clear he feels just fine. He cries for maybe five minutes and then goes to sleep.

Oscar never sleeps. He starts giggling when my alarm goes off, so I hurry him out and try to get ready. But Oscar, he decides that he should play on his ride on rocket that makes special space noises and that he should ride it right into Miles's room. After I specifically asked him not to.

Miles, awake.

Then, in what may be my finest hour, I asked Oscar why he couldn't just listen to me (duh, because he's TWO) and then I told Oscar I was throwing his space rocket into the trash (hello, mean mommy.)

Oscar and I went downstairs while Nelson rocked Miles, and I apologized to Oscar and promised not to throw out his space rocket:

"You going throw my rocket in the trash, Mommy?"
"No, baby, I won't; I promise. I'm sorry I said that. That wasn't very nice of me."
"Okay, Mommy. It's okay. Love you." [HEART BREAKING]
"Love you too, baby. I always love you, even when I'm angry."
"Okay, Mommy."

Shall I even mention the baguettes I've spent two days making and how thanks to the shitty child safe cover on the stove my beautiful baguettes burnt in the last five minutes baking this morning?

U.G.H.

Bring on Tuesday.