Thursday, February 10, 2011

I wonder how long this is going to work for me. If you can even call it working.

Dude.  The sleeping situation in casa de Oscarelli has gotten grim.  Every night, at least one, sometimes both, of the children join us in our bed.  And every night, at least on of  the children curls his body around my head, causing my body to contort into the most uncomfortable of positions, making sleep impossible.  To say nothing of the fact that all this contorting has made my already jacked up neck every more jacked up because they are causing me to position myself in a way that is exactly wrong for my neck problems and is exacerbating said neck problems.

So, in short, boys coming into bed, boys fashioning themselves into child-hats on mom's head, mom not sleeping, jacked up neck becoming even more jacked up.

It sucks.

Yesterday, I told Nelson it had to stop.  We just can't have them in our bed anymore.  I'm not sleeping and my neck, shoulder, and entire left arm are killing me as a result.

I had talked to Oscar and asked how he felt about maybe sharing a bed with Miles and Oscar said he felt good. I also asked him if he had Miles in the bed if he'd be able to fall asleep by himself (with no parent in the bed with him) and if he woke up in the night, he'd feel safe enough to stay in his own bed.  Oscar said he would be fine with just Miles and not need a grown up or need to come to mom and dad's bed.

Now, we've done this a few times; let the boys share a bed.  Miles loves, loves, loves it and has been demanding it more than more.  Usually we have a parent in the bed referring until they fall asleep, but it takes the FOREVER to fall asleep when they are together.  Lots of giggling and kicking, and that does not bode well for them going it alone.  We decided to give it a shot anyways.

We all read books in the big bed as usual, then we tucked them both into Oscar's bed and told them I'd be remaining upstairs if they needed anything.  There was lots of giggling, some shrieking, wall kicking, and Oscar came into my room twice because Miles was kicking him.

Oscar: Mom, Miles is kicking me.

Jenni: Well, ask him to stop.

Oscar: Okay!

Thirty seconds later...

Oscar: Mom, Miles doesn't want me to ask him to stop kicking me.

Jenni: Ask him anyways, and if he won't stop kicking you then move to the other end of the bed, or I'll put him in his crib,.

Oscar: No, no crib!  Okay!

Two minutes later, they both ran in to the room in gales of laughter.  This happened three times before I shut the door, which is old and sticks so they can't open it themselves.  That stopped them from coming out of the room.

They were pretty loud for about 20 minutes.  Then it got quiet.  Not sleeping quiet, but like quiet murmurs.

I went in to check on them and they had turned on the light and were quietly playing cars.  Playing better than I've ever seen them play together.  It was sweet, but also nearly 9PM.

Jenni: What on Earth are you two doing?

Oscar: Uhhh, nothing.

Miles: Playing cars!

Jenni: I can see that.  But what are you supposed to be doing?

Oscar: Going to bed?

Jenni: Yes! YES!  Get in the bed.  NOW.

They scurried into the bed, I turned off the light and I promised them that if they did not quiet down, I was pulling the plug.  The next time I had to come in there, Miles was going in the crib and Oscar was staying in his bed.  Alone.

Then I went back to my room.  There was some wall kicking, some murmuring, but they were asleep in 15 minutes.  All told it took them around an hour to fall asleep.  BUT.  They both slept all night and stayed in Oscar's bed.

It was not wildly successful, but I woke up with a significantly less sore shoulder, so we're going to give it a go again.  I'm hoping the nighttime giggles will wear off but to be honest, I don't even care that much if they are actually sleeping all night and not in my bed.

I'm pretty sure this is going to end badly, but in the meantime, I'm going to get some sleep.


Jennifer said...

Jenni, this counts as a VICTORY. Who cares if it took them longer to get to sleep? That will eventually wear off. It will not end badly, this is the start of a whole new and improved sleeping situation. I'm SO JEALOUS. They may backslide, you know, but just keep it up and after a while it will all be good. And then after another long while they will decide to sleep in their own beds. And it's not like they have to get up for school yet, so quit stressing mama. Way to go!

This is jen maselli btw. Blogger hates me.

Michele said...

I say that if this situation works for you than for go it! Nothing says that you can't change the game plan later. And as Jen said, they may backslide.

Jen: Blogger hate everyone.

Keely said...

I agree, it's a victory. Doesn't your brain feel better for having had a full nights sleep?

9pm isn't THAT bad. Some nights I can't get X to settle down until like 10, and there's only ONE of him.

Casey said...

Ha, nothing ever ends right in the world of sleep but that's a pretty good workaround. One of us is still sleeping on the kid's floor every night (for going on two years). Usually, the kids try to migrate to me when I'm in there and I'll just get up and go to their beds and get some sleep while they sleep on the mat on the floor. It sucks.

Pamela said...

It will stop soon. My boys are so bored with each other they just go to sleep now. Swear to God. I'm not even saying this to make you feel better. Pinky-swear.

gretchen said...

I agree that this is a good step, and a victory, however tentative. Be firm!

unmitigated me said...

Bonus for you, mom, start the process a 1/2 hour earlier. Who cares if it takes an hour for them to settle down, then, and you get a 1/2 hour more evening time to yourself.