I had to bring Oscar in for a sick visit yesterday afternoon. He has this swollen lump on his face and I noticed it Monday was unconcerned, but then he started complaining that it hurt so I got a little worried. (He's fine.)
So, I brought him in and we were about 10 minutes late. I pointed out that our insurance card was new, and I mentioned that I had to fill out paper work for Miles when I brought him in for his well child the previous Friday. I had contemplated filling out a form for Oscar then, but decided I'd just wait until I brought him in for his well child in June.
So, the receptionist makes a photocopy of his new card and writes the new co-pay down on the receipt; runs my debit card and gives me my receipt; validates my parking and we get taken back right away, before we even sit down or take our coats off. I remember thinking, as Oscar and I followed the nurse back, how nice it was having a bigger kid, because all I had to bring in was my wristlet (like a wallet) and Oscar and that was it. No diaper bag. It was a cinch.
We go back; wait for the doctor; see a doctor; receive diagnosis of swollen mandibular lymph node, and are sent on our merry way.
This morning, I get a call from the pediatrician's office. The conversation went like this, where CMG is the pediatrician's office:
CMG: Hello, is this Mrs. Oscarelli?
CMG: You brought Oscar in for a sick visit yesterday?
CMG: Well, you never returned the white form with his updated insurance information. You took it home with you.
Jenni: No, I didn't. I never received the form to update our insurance information.
CMG: Well, I'm standing here with the receptionist and she's telling me she gave you the form.
Jenni: Well then she is mistaken. She did not give me the form.
CMG: Well can I fax you a form that you can fill out and mail in?
Jenni: No, I don't have a fax machine, but you can drop it in the mail and I can fill it out and fax it back.
CMG: No, we need an original signed copy so I'll have to mail it to you and you'll have to mail it back.
Jenni: Okay, or you could just look at the copy I filled out for my other son on Friday. The insurance information is identical. As is the information on the card you copied.
CMG: No, we need a separate form for Oscar, so I'm going to put you down as a self-pay until we get your form back.
Jenni: So you can't even look at the form for billing purposes?
Jenni: Okay, mail me the form, thanks.
CMG: [Sighs audibly] Fine, bye.
Okay, so WTF was her problem man? I mean, first of all, why was she all confrontational and accusatory about me having the form and having taken the form home? Did she think I stole there fucking clipboard and attached pen or something? Why the hell would I do that? And why would I lie about it? I mean, I appreciate her support of her colleague's statement, but who has more to lose here, the woman who forgot to give a patient an important form, or a clipboard-stealing patient? And WHY WOULD I STEAL A CLIPBOARD??
And second of all the receptionist did not give me the form. I'd have noticed it; all I had was my wristlet and Oscar. I'd have had to carry the clipboard/pen combo in my opposite hand, and I'd have been filling it out while we waited for the pediatrician. And I even mentioned the for to her. She forgot. No biggie, but it was her bad here, not mine.
Third, why can't they just look at Miles' form for billing purposes? Or get the information off the copy of the insurance card? It is that difficult? She could have just done that in the time it took her to call me and be a jerk about the whole deal. I realize they need a form, and I'm coming back there next month for a flu shot booster for Miles, so I could have filled out and signed the form at that time.
Fourth, what does she mean she's going to put me down as a self-pay? Are they actually going to bill me and not my insurance company? Wouldn't that just be waisting their time and resources since the KNOW I have insurance and just need a stupid signed form and there is no way I'm paying them when my insurance covers the visit?
Fifth, what's with the sigh? Is it so hard to mail a form? They are the ones who made the mistake, not me! I'll tell you what's with that sigh; that lady is a jerk. Plain and simple. And I bet she likes being a jerk and making peoples lives difficult by billing them necessarily and acting all superior and snotty about the whole thing.
Whatever, jerk. Keep jerking it up. We'll see how far that gets you. Know what flies prefer to vinegar? Honey, that's what. Honey.