Friday, March 11, 2011

Capitan Obvious and the parrot

Scene: Approximately 9AM at a popular running spot in our community.  Jenni is on Week 2 of the Couch to 5K running program.  Oscar cried and cried and insisted he be allowed to come with Momma on her "run," so Jenni dutifully loaded both boys in the jogging stroller (all 60 lbs of them) and off the went.


Oscar: Hey, Mom, what's that?

Jenni: Its a gazebo.  People sit in it to have picnics or watch the ducks and geese.

Oscar: Can we go sit in it?

Jenni: No, Momma's exercising so we have to keep moving.

Oscar: It is a bridge?

Jenni: No, it's a gazebo.

Oscar: Oh.

Two minutes later...


Oscar: Hey, Mom, is that a bridge?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) Yes, kind of.  It's a bridge to a little dock or something that people fish from.

Oscar: Oh.  Are we going on that?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) No.  Momma's exercising, and I can't answer anymore of your questions.

Oscar: Why?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) Because I'm exercising and I can't talk while I exercise or I can't breath.

One minute later...a runner passes Jenni and the boys.


Oscar: Hey, that guy is faster than you.

Jenni (arms burning): Yep.

Oscar:  Why?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) Because he's in better shape than me, an because he's not pushing 80lbs of stroller and kid in front of him.

Oscar: Oh.

Miles: Faster! Faster! Faster!

Oscar: Yeah, lets go faster!

Jenni: No.  This is as fast as it gets.

Oscar: Oh.

Miles: Faster?

Jenni:...

Two minutes later...Two bicyclists pass Jenni and the boys.


Oscar: They are faster than you.

Miles: Faster!

Jenni: ...

Five minutes later...a runner passes Jenni and the boys.


Oscar: She's faster than you.

Miles: Faster!

Jenni: ...

Five minutes later...another bicyclist passes Jenni and the boys.


Oscar: She's faster than you.

Miles: Faster!

Jenni: ...

Ten minutes later...a runner runs by Jenni and the boys in the opposite direction.


Oscar: Whoa.  He's a lot faster than you.

Jenni: (beginning cool down) Yes, Oscar, he is a lot faster than me.  I can see that. He's also at least ten years younger, five inches taller, has never given birth, and is in very good shape.

Oscar: They are all faster than you.

Jenni: I know that, Oscar.  I don't need you to tell me that every time someone runs or rides their bike past. I can see them passing me.  They are all faster than me.  I get it.

Oscar: I want to go faster.

Miles: I want to go home.

Jenni: Home it is.

14 comments:

Amanda said...

Hilarious!

Susanica said...

Maybe next time you let Oscar run alongside of pushing Miles? We'll see who's faster then!

Michele said...

You may not be as fast but you have more heart and that counts much more.

Andrea said...

I'm pretty sure you are my hero today!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Your level of patience raised another notch today. Cheers!

Keely said...

Hahhahhahhahhhahah! Awesome. I was thinking I regretted selling the stroller, since I could still take X with me, but now I'm sure I made the right choice ;)

Becky said...

You are a sweet mama to push those boys around on your run. And go girl, week 2, whew! I did download the app.

Amy said...

You really are a star!! I find running in the real world vs the treadmill is a lot harder. And that's without pushing a stroller! Go, girl!!

crazylovescompany said...

There is so much awesomeness here.

Bugaloo said...

Way to go! Keep it up!

Michele R said...

"He's also at least ten years younger, five inches taller, has never given birth, and is in very good shape."
Hilarious!
Does this mean they won't be interested in joining you next time you go?

Patty O. said...

You made me snort! Way to go! I once took my daughter on a bike ride and she complained how slow I was going, as she ate goldfish crackers in the trailer. I almost left her there...

Momma Hunt said...

Love it! This is why I sneak out to the gym once the kids are in bed because i would have lost my mind!

Barbara said...

Kids. Don't you just love them?!