Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Conversations with a preschooler: Sith vs. Jedi

Oscar: Mom?

Jenni: Yes?

Oscar: Why is Darth Vader a bad guy?

Jenni: Because he's a Sith. He succumbed to the dark side of the Force instead of using the good side of the Force, like Jedi.

Oscar: But why did he become a Siff?

Jenni: Well, a lot of bad things happened to Darth Vader when he was younger that made him really sad and angry, and made think all people were bad, so the power of the dark side seemed appealing and a good way to exact revenge.

Oscar: What's revenge?

Jenni: Revenge is like when you hit Miles and then Miles hits you back.  Miles is getting revenge on you by hitting you back.

Oscar: Oh, okay.  Revenge is not good.

Jenni: Not usually, no.

Oscar: Are all Siffs bad guys.

Jenni: Yes.

Oscar: Who are some other Siffs?

Jenni: Uh, lets see...there's the Emperor.  Emperor...Palpatine?  Yes, Emperor Palpatine.  He's also called Darth Sidious. He's Darth Vader's boss.

Oscar: Darth Sithious?

Jenni: Darth SID-EE-OS.  Sidious.

Oscar: What does he look like?

Jenni: He wear's a black hooded robe and he has a really wrinkly white face and yellow eyes.

Oscar: Can you show me a picture?

Jenni: Sure [pulls up picture of Darth Sidious on iPhone]

Oscar: Why he look like that?

Jenni: Because he's super evil.

Oscar: He's Darth Vader's boss?

Jenni: Yes.

Oscar: Who is Darth Vader the boss of?

Jenni: He's the boss of the Storm Troopers.

Oscar: The one with the white helmets?

Jenni: Yep.

Oscar: Are they Siffs?

Jenni: No, they're clones.

Oscar: Whey they're not Siffs?

Jenni: Because they don't know how to use the Force.  And they use guns instead of lightsabers.  Only Jedi and Sith use lightsabers.

Oscar: Okay. Why to only Siffs and Jedis have lightsavers?

Jenni: I'm not sure why they have them, but all Jedi and Sith have lightsabers.  That is their weapon of choice.

Oscar: Okay.  What's another Siff?

Jenni: Darth Maul.

Oscar: Darth Maul.  What he looks like?

Jenni: He has red and black skin and no hair and horns on his head and sharp pointy teeth.

Oscar: Why he have sharp pointy teeth?

Jenni: Because he's evil!  And you know what's really cool about Darth Maul?

Oscar:  What?

Jenni [taking Oscar's Lightsaber to demonstrate]: You know how your Darth Vader lightsaber has a plasma blade coming out of the top?  [Oscar nods] Well, Darth Maul's lightsaber has a plasma blade coming out of the top and the bottom!

Oscar: Whoa, cool!

Jenni: I know!

Oscar: Can I see a picture of Darth Maul?

Jenni: Sure. [Pulls up photos of Darth Maul on iPhone]

Oscar: Why he looks like that?

Jenni: He's some kind of alien, and that is just how those aliens look, just like you look how you look and I look how I look.

Oscar: What's another Siff?

Jenni: Sorry, buddy, but that's all the Siths I know.

Oscar: Oh.  Well, what about Darth Vader's kid?

Jenni: Luke Skywalker?  He's not a Sith.  He's a Jedi.

Oscar: Why he's a Jedi?

Jenni: Because he uses he good side of the Force.

Oscar: Can I see a picture of him?

Jenni: Yeah, sure, but lets go to my computer so we can see a bigger picture. [Pulls up picture of Skywalker on computer. Oscar is unimpressed.]

Oscar: What are some other Jedis?

Jenni: There's Mace Windu [Pulls up picture of Mace Windu]

Oscar: Who else is a Jedi?

Jenni: Obi-Wan Kenobi [pulls up pictures of both old and young Obi Wan]

Oscar: Who else?

Jenni: Yoda, of course.

Oscar: Yoda is not a Jedi!

Jenni: Yeah he is!  He's one of the most powerful Jedi that ever lived!

Oscar: He doesn't look like a Jedi.  He's too small.

Jenni: It does not matter how you look, Oscar.  Anyone can be a Jedi if they know how to use the good side of the Force.  It doesn't matter how big or small.

Oscar: Does Yoda fight Darth Vader?

Jenni: Yes.

Oscar: Does Yoda win?

Jenni: No, Darth Vader wins.

Oscar: Does Darth Vader kill Yoda?

Jenni: Kind of, but Jedi don't really die.  They become part of the Force (ed. note: this is just my theory.)

Oscar: But you say the good guys always win.

Jenni: Eventually, they do.  Sometime it just takes awhile.

Oscar: Okay.  What's another Jedi?

Jenni: Another Jedi?  Uhh...Qui-Gon Jinn!  Yes, Qui-Gon Jinn. [Pulls up photo of Qui-Gon Jinn]

Oscar: Why is hair look like that?  Why they all wearing brown robes?

Jenni: Well, I guess because Jedi are really in tune with nature, because the Force is part of nature?  I don't know, Oscar, I never really thought about their clothes before.

Oscar: What's another Jedi?

Jenni: I don't know any other Jedi.

Oscar: What's another Siff?

Jenni: I don't know any other Sith.

Oscar: There are no more Siff or Jedi?

Jenni: No, there are more, I just don't know about them.

Oscar: Okay, well you find them and then tell me about them, okay?

Jenni: Okay, Oscar.  I'll do my best.

Oscar: Okay! Which Siff you think I am?

Jenni: Which Sith do you want to be?

Oscar: The one with the white face.

Jenni: Sidious?  Good choice.  He's the most powerful.

Oscar: Okay, and you can be the red guy.  Let's go!

Jenni: Darth Maul?  Awesome! Let's go!


unmitigated me said...

Best Star Wars Moment EVER: The lightsaber battle between Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul. I'm getting nerd chills just thinking about it.

Michele said...

Wow! He followed all that? I barely followed it. Which only means that Oscar is smarter than I am. I remember those sort of never ending conversations.

VandyJ said...

You have far more patience for that kind of conversation than I do. Nick usually fields those types for questions.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I think you may qualify for a historian degree in a galaxy far far away...

Captain Dumbass said...

Size matters not. And I agree with Mary.

Aimee said...

Impressive, young one!

My boys could put together a whole tutorial for him...thanks to The Clone Wars, they talk constantly of characters I've never heard of. I got a shock last year, when I realized their Star Wars knowledge was light years (pun intended) ahead of my own.

Michele R said...

Jenni--this was fab! I am so, so impressed! You need to publish this as a guide for those parents who need to be prepared. Of my 3 only the youngest has been so into Stars Wars. He is so patient with me, always correcting my pronounciations on the 1,233,786 different names of characters and places and ships. He is forever correcting me on who was in which movie (although I have finally learned that the last 3 were the ones initially made). When I make a mistake he states that I "need to rewatch with him the first 3". When he saw Natalie Portman on TV all he cares is that she is Padme.
Anyway, I'll say it again--you are the bomb to those precious boys of yours.

Michele R said...

OK, it is Michele R. again. I have just had a blast with my son reading your post, but I have to say that he is "correcting"/enhancing some details.
1). Darth Maul is called a Zabarak.
2). Darth Maul's red/black skin is on face only--rest of body is all black.
3). Yoda never fought Darth Vader--only Darth Sidious.
4). Anikin was "stronger" than Yoda (his blood was tested for mini-chlorians and had more than Yoda, almost 10,000).
5). Princess Leia was also a Jedi (girl power!) but not enough of one to use the force.
I'll stop now--he is still talking but have to escort him to bed now.

Keely said...

Well, I thought I was Star Wars fluent but I just learned a lot. Clearly I need to do more preparation before X enters this phase.

gretchen said...

I just love these conversations you have. I certainly learned a lot, as I'm afraid I'm NOT Star Wars savvy, I've always been more of a Star Trek girl. I always figured I'd catch up on Star Wars through Jude, but he doesn't seem to have any interest in them. Hmmm. May have to work on that.