I'm back from a long weekend in Long Beach Island. It was my first visit to the Jersey Shore and I tried to get in as much Jersey Shore-ing as possible. I think I succeeded.
We arrived late Thursday night after traveling through some torrential downpours. Me and four of my girlfriends packed into one car (it was a wagon) and it was crowded in the back, but I was in the front so it was just fine for me. I know this sounds selfish, but I declared to them all in the car that for the entire weekend, I was only worrying about myself and I would not be taking care of anyone but me all weekend. They were okay with that.
I generally sleep poorly away from home, but I actually slept really, really well on Thursday night. I woke up that morning and my friend Nancy made us all waffles and bloody Mary's and then she made me another bloody Mary which I took along with me when we went sailing.
We had a lovely sailboat ride, captained by my friend Nancy's dad (it was her parent's who were hosting us for the weekend) and crewed, in part, by yours truly. That's right, kids, I crewed a sailboat. I'm not regatta ready or anything but I can pull some ropes and let them out and generally follow instructions so I think I did okay.
Then we went back to the house and had a couple of mojitos, some lunch, and headed to the beach. I don't know what I did when we came home from the beach. I think I read my book and relaxed and snacked as I was not on dinner duty. Then, two more of my girlfriends arrived and we had dinner and our wine club and that was fun and I drank just enough but not too much, which is a always a bit of a challenge for me, so things went really well on that front.
The next morning I went out and bought bagels and lox for breakfast and had more bloody mary's. Then we declared that 11AM was mojito o'clock so we had more of those and then went over to the neighbor's pool where I sat and read all afternoon. Everyone kept teasing me about how relaxed I was and asking did I miss my kids and I was like, "No, because you assholes keep interrupting my reading, so it's practically like there are here." I'm just kidding. I think I called them jerks.
That night we went to a social at Nancy's parents' yacht club and that was super fun. The drinks were quite strong. I asked for a gin and tonic and I got a gin and gin. My friend Amy was like, "Just drink it. By the time your are done it won't matter how strong it is." She was right. My friend Tracy, who is breastfeeding, asked them to make her drink like and the bartender was like, "What? I'm not making them strong." And then he proceeded to fill her entire glass with rum and splash some grapefruit juice on top. He was a little grumpy.
So, most of the yacht club members were in their 60s and 70s (and 80s), so we were the youngest by at least 30 years, and that was good, especially when the time came to play games. I was drafted to play a game where I had to strap and plastic sand pail to my head, and my friend Tracy had to bounce ping pong balls into the bucket for one minute. We were competing against another team. We got 3 ping pong balls and they got ZERO. WE WON, OLD PEOPLE! We crushed them. I realize maybe I should not have been yelling, "IN YOUR FACE OLD MAN!" to my competitor and giving my partner double high fives, but did I mention the drinks were strong?
I also may have called out another player for cheating on a different game, but no one cared. They gave me this look that was like, "Shut up. We say he wins and don't care if he cheats." Whatever. Cheaters.
Then, we all went to Karaoke and that was fun and funny and there were these guy who used props and got dressed up and sang Man Eater. If you like Karaoke, this is about as good as it gets. If you dislike Karaoke, you'd have been miserable.
We got home sometime after one and I went to sleep shortly there after. My poor friend Amy had been drinking bourbon all night and did not feel fantastic. We had quiche for breakfast, tidied up the house and headed home. I got home around 5PM on Sunday and the kids shrieked with delight and hugged me and asked me if I'd saved them any cookies or brownies (I'd brought some to the shore.) I had not, but I did bring them home a soft pretzel and that sufficed.
And now I'm home and doing regular life stuff and avoiding laundry. How was your weekend?