I am not having a great day. It really started last night when Oscar stayed up until 10:30pm and I ended up yelling and he ended up calling me a monster (which he almost immediately took back, professing his undying love, but still.) And then Miles was in our bed before I even fell asleep, so I slept horribly and had an awful time waking up.
My plantar facitis was really hurting this morning, as it tends to in mornings, but was much worse today. Miles woke up with me this morning, and both boys were up by 6:30am. I don't want sound like I don't like my children or anything, but in general my days go better if I can have a few minutes to start my day without them, particularly on days where I have early morning chores to do, like vacuuming and de-cluttering. It's just impossible to do that stuff with them under foot.
They were actually getting along pretty well. For like 30 minutes. And then Oscar started antagonizing Miles, which lead to lots of yelling and whining, some of it actually from the children.
Then they refused to tell me what they wanted for breakfast so I made eggs, which Miles devoured and Oscar picked at.
Of course neither of them wanted to go upstairs to get dress, and when we were finally up there, Oscar changed his outfit no less than three times. I had to chase Miles down and physically wrestle him into his pants, and I believe I actually said to the boys, "You know, you guys could actually do things to make my mornings easier. Did you know that? Instead of maximizing the difficulty of every situation you could just, you know, do what I ask?" And then they laughed at me and kicked the walls and I asked them to stop kicking and they kicked again and then I yelled, "STOP KICKING THE WALL. I'M YELLING NOW. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? I'M YELLING."
That was actually the moment when I finally realized I was having a crap day, because I was taking their fairly typical behavior quite personally, and because I was yelling before 8AM. Believe me when I say no one hates my yelling more than I hate my yelling. Yelling at my kids always, always, always makes me feel worse. I'm actually pretty good at avoiding yelling for this very selfish reason.
I wish I could say this self realization helped me to improve my morning, but it did not. Now, on the plus side, Oscar was finally listening to me. I told him when we got downstairs he was to put on his shoes and clean up the several hundred cars he dumped onto the floor. He did those things. Or rather, he put on his shoes and then spent 25 minutes picking up about half of his cars.
Anyways, it was time for school and it was raining so I had to get them into their raincoats. Miles refused and I was like "Whatever, kid, get wet." But, of course, as we were walking out the door Miles started screaming, "MY RAIN JACKET! WHERE'S MY RAIN JACKET?! I NEED MY RAIN JACKET!" So I got his rain jacket on and had my arms full of Oscar's school stuff and Miles whines, "I need my blanket," I just dropped everything on the floor and went to find the blanket.
About 2 minutes into the trip, I realized that I'd forgotten an 3 week overdue library book (it had been missing) for the second time this week. Damn it.
We ended up leaving late, and 3/4 of the way to school the sky just opened up and a deluge of rain came down. A deluge we would have missed had we left on time. Now I was staring at having to haul both boys out of the van and into the school during a downpour.
Luckily, another mom saw me pull in and agreed to wait next to the van so I could leave Miles. She and I do this for each other all the time - one of us will stay at the car with the toddlers and the other will drop off/pick up the 4-year-olds. It's nice. She'd gotten her daughter in before the rain, but had not left yet and very, very, nicely waited. It was a very good moment in an otherwise difficult morning.
Now, I'm feeling grumpy and tired and trying to change this mood. I'm going to make a homemade chicken pot pie for dinner. I might go for run this evening. Looking forward to those things has already boosted my mood. I also ate four peanut butter crackers and I might catch a nap before preschool pick up.
And? The sun is shining.
Here's to hoping this day is on an upswing. Hope your day is going better than mine.