Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Is it possible that I'm not as great as I think I am?

So, there is the mom at Oscar's school? And I'm pretty sure she dislikes me.  Or disdains me.  Something like that.  I don't know, I feel like every conversation she has with me at pick up or drop off is forced. Like, she's trying really hard to find something to say to me because she thinks she has to, but it's really pretty clear that if she never had to speak to me ever again, she'd be okay with that.

I'm not sure what the deal is with her, but last year, it really upset me and hurt my feelings. I was really looking to preschool to be an awesome opportunity to meet some new mom friends, and it wasn't happening.  Then, when I realized that this one particular mom had some kind of dislike or whatever of me, it made me really sad, like not only am I NOT making friends, people are actively DISLIKING me.  It felt a lot like there was some kind of cool parent club that I was pointedly not invited to, and never would be.

This is an unusual experience for me.  I'm pretty outgoing and and while I do have my off days, in general I'm good at making friends.  I can have a conversation with pretty much anyone about pretty much anything. For these reasons, I'm not short on friends, and people generally (at least outwardly) like me. I mean, I'm not like the prom queen or anything. More like the high school newspaper editor - not the most popular kid in school but generally well known and liked.

Don't weep for me; I got past this.  I did make friends with a couple of the moms, and while we're not exactly going out for post-bedtime drinks together, we do enjoy chatting at the school, or during play dates if I ever remember to schedule them.

She still does not like me this year, this particular mom, but it no longer makes me sad. I came to the realization that I really didn't want to have to WORK to make someone like me. And I certainly don't want to be friends with anyone who does not want to be friends with me.  I'm good people. It is her loss if she does not want a piece of my fabulosity.  Now, I think it's funny. I mean, come on.  You're some kind of hot-shit preschool parent who gets to pick and choose who sits at the cool parent's table? That's lame, man.  LAME. I'll have no part of it. 

The, there was this incident a few weeks ago, where a few of us were having a conversation (mean to me mom included), and I was pointedly NOT INVITED to a thing, and I will admit it made me feel awkward. Three of us were chatting about our kids and an activity that they all participate in, and she told the other mom that she and her kid should do the activity with her and her kid next time. But not me and my kid.  I mean, she didn't say not us, but she was overtly NOT inviting us. Awkward!  And also, WTF?

(This was so much more awkward and lame than I can fully convey here.  She also did this weird name-dropping thing, and the name she dropped was someone that I know and know well and personally and have for like a decade, though I refrained from admitting my association. Meanwhile, the mom who was supposed to be impressed by the name dropping was like, "I don't know who that it." It was a bit hilarious.)

Now, it did not make me sad.  I do not want to be this lady's friend. But how about she just STOP BEING A JERK! Jerky Jerkerton from Jerkville.  Jerkface.  Jerkington.  Jerky-Jerk Jerk Jerk Jerk. J-E-R-K. I usually just laugh inside at her lameness and passive aggressive attempts to hurt my feelings, but this attempt at exclusion just seemed really extreme and I guess I just don't understand why.


Sprite's Keeper said...

What goes around comes around. I just wish it included a side of bitch slap sometimes. :-)
Happy Thanksgiving, Oscarelli Family!

VandyJ said...

So sad when some moms never make it out of junior high.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Strawberry said...

What I find even more sad is that she's probably going to raise her kids to be jerks, too. Sigh. But you ARE good people, and she's the loser.

rach said...

that is LAME. Im actually going through a similar situation right now with a friend who i know work with acting very similarly so i guess she wasnt that good of a friend anyways! I'm betting its not you at all- it sounds like to me shes probably jealous of you or intimidated of you or sees something in you that she dislikes about herself and instead of being a grownup about it she acts like a spoiled child! sorry that she is that way though, sucks when people are jerks!

Keely said...

Uh, no. You're fabulous. She is insecure, obviously, and threatened by your fabulousness. Some people are just...super weird about that kind of stuff. You can probably rest assured that the other (non-mean) moms felt just as awkward about her weirdness, even if they weren't being deliberately excluded.

Happy Thanksgiving Oscarelli Fam!

Stimey said...

That's annoying. And pointless. And stupid. Because you're awesome. Sometimes it just really helps to get that sort of thing out. She's such a jerkface.

Casey said...

Awww, I'll be your friend. We are at a Catholic school this year (closet atheists, it is hilarious) and a few of the moms are like that toward me. I notice it but whatever, bitches. I am awesome and it's your loss.

gretchen said...

First of all, I like you. And everyone I know who knows you likes you.

Secondly, there's this mom at Jude's school, who I am forced to deal with fairly often because of my Parent Board duties, and for years I've thought this woman just HATED me. She was so cold and bitchy and negative. Her emails to me were terse and nasty, and she never got my sense of humor (which of course, drove me nuts). Then one day, I was talking to another mom, who knows this nasty woman pretty well, and I mentioned that I thought that nasty woman hated me. This mom said no, that nasty woman was nasty to everybody! "She's just a bitch." I was stunned. Really? It had never occurred to me that I was the popular girl and nasty woman was the odd girl out!

Becky said...

I am late to this party, but you ARE that great, as all these people have attested.

It is perfectly clear that this girl is insecure, hence the name-dropping, and it's HILARIOUS that the other mom was like, "Huh, who is that?" Sounds like she's got her number. I bet you're not the only one who thinks she's kind of a beeyotch.

Seriously, geez!

Erin said...

boo, why do some people never grow up?! she sounds like she is either really insecure or really pretentious!