Wednesday, February 8, 2012

OMG, like seriously

Sometimes, silly and ridiculous things happen in your life and you just have to blog them. This is one of those times.

So I'm in a book group. A great book group. It was started by three friends of mine, Amy, Kate, and Jessica. Prior to book club, Amy and Kate had never met Jessica, nor did they have any idea that Jessica was a friend of mine, and had been for several years. Kate (I think) put an ad for a book group on Craig's list or something, and Jessica responded. After a few meetings, my name somehow came up and Jessica was shocked and delighted to find that I was also good friends with Amy and Kate. This kind of proves my friend Pam's theory that all roads lead back to me, but moving on.

I eventually joined this book group, and other members came and went. It's been meeting for three or four years at this point. (I came in around year 2.5.) There are seven members currently.

We were supposed to meet last Friday, but the host cancelled a few hours before the even because her husband was sick.

This was irritating. To me and to others as well, and for a couple of reasons. One is that the hostess (not one of the women I named above) has cancelled on book group last minutes multiple times, and once before when she was supposed to be hosting. In fact, she had cancelled on the prior two meetings (maybe more?) This is what we call a pattern. It's also irritating because it's just plain inconsiderate of everyone else's time.

Because I knew there was frustration in the group surrounding this issue, I decided to email the hostess and let her know that I was upset with the situation and that I though she handled it poorly. I emailed her apart from the rest of the group so she would not feel like everyone was ganging up on her.

Here's my email:

Hi, Emily. In the interest of being transparent and honest, I wanted to let you know how frustrated and annoyed I was that you cancelled book group last week. I felt like it was really inconsiderate of everyone else's time and the effort we'd put into arranging our schedules and reading the book. I understand that you cannot help if your husband is sick and sometimes things come up, but out of respect for the other six people in the group who had set aside last Friday on their schedules, you could have asked someone else if they could take over hosting duties before you just cancelled, or you could have suggested an alternate location at a coffee shop or restaurant. 

Personally, it is not at all easy for me to plan an evening out with two small children, a husband that works long hours, and my own irregular freelance schedule. Nights out with friends (and without my little people) are a big deal to me and take weeks of planning in advance, so a last minute cancellation is really devastating to me. I don't mean to speak for others, but it's kind of a big deal for seven people to coordinate their schedules and I'm sure they were frustrated as well. If you volunteer to host in the future, I hope that you will keep the rest of us in mind should you need to cancel, and maybe put more effort into finding an alternate solution so we are not all left high and dry. 

Take care,

So, I know I'm being really direct here, but I also think I'm being fair and addressing the situation up front, like an adult.

Well. WELL. You would have though I threw a slushie in her face or something, because she quit book group! Not only did she quit book group, but she emailed everyone in book group BUT ME to tell them she was quitting. Have I somehow gotten lost in some Sweet Valley High time warp? Don't grown ups just tell each other when they are angry and discuss the situation? Or perhaps I should post passive aggressive Facebook status updates about all of this? And. AND.  She did not even read the book! OMG, right?

I'm slightly shocked by this childish behavior, although mostly I am just laughing at the ridiculousness.  It is just too much. Too much!

I would love to hear a tidbit about your ridiculousness as of late. Please tell me I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of silliness.


Andrea said...

We all want to feel young again, but not like those parts of high school! Goodness gracious! So you got no response? I don't think you'll need a book next all already have a crazy tale to discuss!

Pamela said...

You sure her name isn't HEATHER???
I was the recipient of a USPS stamped-and-everything letter telling me that I am pretty much going to hell for loving The Gays. A long, long letter. And then there was Additional and Unnecessary Gossip. the letter and the gossip campaign were done by two no-longer intimate friends.
(word verification: STING)

Andrea said...

Hello, I didn't know you were in jr high! Yeesh. I didn't think the email was bad, yes ok, maybe from the receivers point of view it would sting, especially if they felt bad about what they did. but Yeesh!

The only tale I can think of is years ago I have this friend S and she moved about 30 minutes from me. Right after she moved her husband got a new job so it meant they were relocating (and oddly enough she now lives about two hours from me (and we've moved five times since this happened)...freaky). She decided that she wouldn't bother to talk to her neighbors or make friends with anyone in the five months until they moved because "it's not worth my time to be friends with people when we are just going to move".

Uh...okay. Yeesh.

Word verification is adwinces - that's kind of funny because as a kid I was called AD by friends and your story made me wince. Maybe we should ask word verification for life advice....

Sprite's Keeper said...

Girl, if this was Sweet Valley, you'd be like Jessica. :-)
I would love to be in your book club! Do you accept virtual members?

Momma Hunt said...

Ugh is all I have to say...not to mention I would also be fired up. Getting out of the house with two wee ones is akin to a military operation. Hang in there and I am sure that the book club would be better without her anyways. Let her throw her tantrun and then she will realize what she lost

gretchen said...

Hmmmm. I say good riddence. She is clearly a woman who has issues with confrontation, and is unwilling to either accept fault, or defend herself. And it sounds like she must have been pretty close to quitting anyway, as she's missed the last 3 meetings and didn't even read the book. Husband sick/schmusband schick.

Keely said...

Yeesh. Who has time for that? Not I. I have to deal with enough juvenile antics from Xander, who needs it in your friends?

Suga T said...

I find it ridiculously unfair that she punished you for being an adult and actually being up front about your needs. What a PIA.