Oscarelli

Slow-cooker venison sloppy joes

2012-01-18T10:22:00.000-05:00

There are some things that are just worth the effort of making them completely homemade, and sloppy joes are one of them. I started making my own a few years ago and I've never looked back.

Now, to be fair, there was really no back to look too. My mom never made sloppy joes growing up, and while I may have had them in the cafeteria in high school, I was never really a Manwich eater. They just didn't appeal to me.

This recipe is different, though. It's chock full of fresh veggies, lean meat, smokey spices and a subtle sweetness.

I used venison because that is what I had. My father-in-law gave us several packages of venison burger and venison makes great sloppy joes. You could easily substitute ground beef or turkey.

If you've never had it, venison has a stronger flavor than beef. Some would call it "game-ey" but I think it's almost sweet. One problem with venison is that it's very lean, so it can be hard to keep it tender. For that reason, sloppy joes, stew, a bolognese or slow-cooking a roast are the best ways to prepare this meat.

Okay, here's what you need:

1 lb. of lean ground meat (I used venison)

1 small onion, diced

1 carrot, chopped

1 stalk celery, chopped

1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

3 tablespoons dark brown sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons cumin

1 teaspoon chili powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

6 whole-wheat rolls (sandwich or hamburger-style)

To start, chop your veg.

Brown your venison (use a little oil if it's sticking.)

Toss your venison, veggies, tomatoes, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar and spices into the slow-cooker.

Mix it all up. Doesn't it already look delicious?

Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 6 hours, until it look like this:

Toss it on a hamburger roll, or over top of some pasta, and eat it up.

It's hard to make sloppy joes look as delicious as they taste.

Things I say all day long, in no particular order

2012-01-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

1. Whatever you are doing, STOP IT.
2. Stop it.
3. Leave your brother alone.
4. Don't be so rough!
5. Knock. It. Off.
6. What are you doing in there?
7. Do you have to go pee-pee?
8. Do you have to poop?
9. Who just pooped their pants?
10. Do not make me chase you.
11. I'm trying to use the bathroom!
12. Gentle, please!
13. I said stop it!
14. Do you want a time out?
15. I love you.
16. I don't want to listen to the grocery bag song again.
17. Please stop whining.
18. We don't hit!
19. Why did you dump that water/juice/snack on the floor?!
20. I just want to finish my coffee.
21. We don't jump on the furniture.
22. Stop playing on the stairs.
23. No running in the house!
24. Take turns, please.
25. You have to share.
26. Leave the dog alone.
27. Stop hanging off my legs.
28. No, really, you're hurting me.
29. Who here is handsome?
30. Blow your nose. No, blow it. In the tissue!
31. What's this all over the floor?
32. Did you pee your pants?
33. Please don't.
34. Yes.
35. Use the Force.
36. Good job!
37. How can you be hungry again?
38. Get your finger out of your nose, please.
39. Can't you just be nice to each other?
40. I love you too.

Conversations with a preschooler: Poop

2012-01-12T15:56:00.000-05:00

Miles [in a singsong voice]: Mo-om, I pooped my paaaants!

Jenni: Oh, Miles, why? Did you really?

Miles [singsong voice, grinning]: Not yet...

[For the record, he did make it to the toilet, the little stinker.]

Sausages and peppers with polenta

2012-01-04T11:27:00.001-05:00

Feeding my family healthy, fresh food is one of my top priorities. It can be tough when you have little ones with limited pallets, so when I find something that works, I go with it.

We eat sausages and peppers with polenta probably twice a month. Miles loves polenta and Oscar gobbles up the sausage, and a meal where everyone is eating at least one component is considered a win in this house. This meal takes about 35 minutes from stove to table, another reason it's a huge winner.

What you'll need:
3 medium or 2 large bell peppers (I used a yellow, orange, and a red one for this version; make for a colorful meal)
1 small to medium onion
1 package of sweet Italian sausage (sometimes called fennel sausage - usually comes about 5 to a pack. 1.25 lbs if you have a local butcher.)
3/4 cups cornmeal, medium or coarse
3 cups cold water
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup milk (I use skim)
1/4 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
Salt and pepper to taste

Pre-heat your oven to 425. Mix 3/4 cups of cornmeal with 3 cups of cold water in a lidded, 2-quart baking dish (that round Pyrex with the lid that you got as part of the set as a wedding gift.) Place the dish, covered, into the preheated oven for 15 minutes.

While the polenta is cooking, slice your bell peppers and onion into strips.

So pretty!

After 15 minutes, take out your polenta, whisk it, and put it in for another 15 minutes.

Now, heat a large frying pan with a smidge of olive oil. Once the pan is hot, add your sausages. You want to brown them on all side. That should take 5 or 6 minutes. Then, remove the sausages from the pan and toss in your veggies and 1/4 teaspoon of the Italian seasoning. Let those cook until the peppers are bright and crisp, about 5-7 minutes.

Look at those bright veggies! Now cook that sausage through.

While the veggies are cooking, slice your sausage into 1/2 inch rounds. It'll still be pink inside. No worries; once your veggies look right, you're going to toss those bad boys back into the pan and cook them with the peppers for about 7 minutes more, until all the pink is gone.

That's gonna be creamy polenta.

Your polenta should be ready right about the time your sausage and pepper mix is near done. Pull out the dish and add 2 tablespoons of butter, 1/4 cup of milk, 1/4 teaspoon of marjoram and salt and pepper to taste. Whisk it up until the butter is melted and the polenta looks creamy.

Put about 3/4 cups of polenta on your plate and top with the sausage and pepper mixture.

That's dinner.

Nom, nom, nom.

2012 is happening

2012-01-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

I love when a new year starts. It's all shiny and fresh from the package. Possibilities are endless! Adventures are ahead! New experiences will be had!

This year will be a big one for the Oscarelli family. Oscar starts kindergarten in the fall, and Miles will enter nursery school. It's going to be major. It's going to be great.

I suffered a not minor knee injury around Thanksgiving that is finally healing. Hopefully I can start running on it again this week and these 10 holiday pounds will just fall right off.

We had such a wonderful Christmas. Our best. Oscar got Legos and Star Wars and a new race track. Miles got trains, trains and more trains. I don't think there's a train that kid does not have.

Nelson got me two fingerprint charms from the boys, and he also framed some of our favorite family photos and got me some notebooks embossed with my name (for my writing gigs, he's so sweet.)

The best gift Nelson received (other than a shiny, new iPhone) was probably hearing that he'd passed is Professional Engineer exam. He's also been asked to take on more of a leadership role internationally in his field, which is quite an honor. I'm very proud of that guy.

I see a lot of fun for us in 2012. Skating lessons and craft time this winter. More camping trips, visiting friends; lacrosse and t-ball in the spring. Swimming lessons and lots of trips to the pool and our annual beach vacation this summer. Kindergarten and preschool in the fall, and another camping trip or two for good measure.

We've got quite a year ahead of us. I hope to see you all somewhere in there too!

Your day is probably going way better than mine

2011-11-30T11:02:00.002-05:00

I went out the car this morning and loaded in three small children for preschool drop off. I hadn't even made it around the corner when my role-playing game neighbors (I like these guys) ran up to the van and said, "Your front tire is almost completely flat!"

I thanked him and turned around to go home, seriously grumbling because, of course the tire is flat! There's a nail in it!

A nail in it, you say? Yes, folks, there is a nail in my tire. And I knew all about it, and in a few short moments, YOU are going to know all about it.

So, about a month or so ago, when we first started getting our cold snaps at night, the tire pressure light started coming on in our van.

The first time it happened, I was alarmed! I called my husband, who was in the house, and demanded that he come outside and evaluate our tires (they looked fine to me.) He also declared them fine and said it was probably just the weather and a really sensitive air pressure detector.

I'm not going to lie here; I was skeptical. This is the second season we've had the van and the air pressure light did not come on even one time last winter. In fact, it had never gone on before this date. But, being that my husband is the boss of all appliances, vehicles, and equipment that live outdoors, I gave him the point and just moved on.

It was maybe two weeks and that light never went off. Nelson said that we were going to have to take it into the dealer to get it turned off and I though that was ridiculous. I made him check the pressure in the tires and the PSI in all four tires was a little low (35psi - it should be 36) and in on tire the pressure was 32psi (low!)

So he filled the tires and I felt a little smug and the light was off for a few days (a week maybe?) and it came on again. And one of the tires was noticeably lower. I made lots of noises and Nelson finally check the tire again and it was down to like 30psi (!!!).

The light was off for a day or two and then it was on again. At this point I began to strongly suspect that something was wrong with the tire. There was clearly some kind of slow leak. He checked it again over Thanksgiving weekend and found a nail in the tread. Ah-ha! The reason for the slow leak.

I asked Nelson what we would do about this nail and he said that since the car was due for an oil change, we'd have them fix the tire at the same time. Sounds good, yes? This was on Saturday last. I questioned if the tire would be okay until then, and he assured me it would be fine.

Now, you may be thinking here that Nelson obviously made an appointment for an oil change because obviously he would not want his family driving around on a tire with a slow leak. Alas, he did not, showing a complete disregard for our safety. I pretty sure he cut the brake lines as well, and maybe put some arsenic in our drinking water.

You may be wondering why I did not just take charge and make the plans for the oil change/tire repair myself. There are two reasons. One, is that you cannot have your oil changed with small children. That's a nightmare. The other is that Nelson and I recently had a fight about how I don't have faith in his ability to repair things and how I question his judgement on repairs, so I am working to not do that any longer.

(This fight was about the front screen door. The closer on that door has been broken since FOREVER and Nelson tried to fix it four times, all unsuccessful. So, he wanted to make a fifth attempt and I was like, "Look, you can't fix it. You've tried four times! Come on!" So we argued and then he fixed it and so far it has remained fixed. Lesson learned, me.)

Anyways, I was pretty angry that the tire was flat because I KNEW that was going to happen, and I also knew Nelson had made no moves to schedule a repair for the tire (or the oil change for that matter.) I was also angry because I knew that with my whacked out shoulder/neck, I was not going to be able to change the tire myself (I can barely changed a normal sized tire on a normal sized vehicle when I'm in peak health.) My anger was heightened because I knew our AAA membership lapsed just this month because the auto-renew credit card had expired and I had not gotten around to calling them and giving them the new number.

That has been my morning. Nelson is coming home a little early to get the tire repaired. Oscar missed school and has been alternately tormenting Miles, or instructing Miles to torment Benji.

The end.

Hugging

2011-11-28T08:36:00.000-05:00

Oscar: MOM! Come look! There are two squirrels in the tree!

Jenni: Look at that!

Squirrels are biting, fighting.

Jenni: It looks like they are playing.

Oscar: Yeah, they're playing!

One squirrel begins humping the other squirrel.

Oscar: Now they're hugging! They must really love each other.

Jenni: Yes, I'm sure they do.

The swing

2011-11-27T15:55:00.000-05:00

We are finally, fully done with our holiday-ing. We are home. I've been to the grocery store. I am considering our pile of dirty laundry.

I was really cranky when we got home. The boys were the devil to get in the car, and I was tired from sleeping poorly all weekend on an uncomfortable bed. We'd been in a few minutes and I snapped at Nelson and he said, "Okay, I'm going to go do the dishes now."

And he did!

I went in to the kitchen to apologize for my temper, an he was like, "Hey, no problem. I saw how cranky you were so I decided I'd do the dishes and maybe that would improve your mood."

It worked!

I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of food and a special treat for my sister-in-law, who just had a baby last week. I had gotten a gift for my older niece and the new baby and then I was like, "Hey, she just pushed out a kid! She should get a present!"

Nelson took the boys to the playground so I'm enjoying the silence, though the fact that this place is messy is killing me. I should probably clean it up but, oh, I have two shipments from Old Navy that I haven't even opened! Priorities.

Is it possible that I'm not as great as I think I am?

2011-11-23T11:05:00.000-05:00

So, there is the mom at Oscar's school? And I'm pretty sure she dislikes me. Or disdains me. Something like that. I don't know, I feel like every conversation she has with me at pick up or drop off is forced. Like, she's trying really hard to find something to say to me because she thinks she has to, but it's really pretty clear that if she never had to speak to me ever again, she'd be okay with that.

I'm not sure what the deal is with her, but last year, it really upset me and hurt my feelings. I was really looking to preschool to be an awesome opportunity to meet some new mom friends, and it wasn't happening. Then, when I realized that this one particular mom had some kind of dislike or whatever of me, it made me really sad, like not only am I NOT making friends, people are actively DISLIKING me. It felt a lot like there was some kind of cool parent club that I was pointedly not invited to, and never would be.

This is an unusual experience for me. I'm pretty outgoing and and while I do have my off days, in general I'm good at making friends. I can have a conversation with pretty much anyone about pretty much anything. For these reasons, I'm not short on friends, and people generally (at least outwardly) like me. I mean, I'm not like the prom queen or anything. More like the high school newspaper editor - not the most popular kid in school but generally well known and liked.

Don't weep for me; I got past this. I did make friends with a couple of the moms, and while we're not exactly going out for post-bedtime drinks together, we do enjoy chatting at the school, or during play dates if I ever remember to schedule them.

She still does not like me this year, this particular mom, but it no longer makes me sad. I came to the realization that I really didn't want to have to WORK to make someone like me. And I certainly don't want to be friends with anyone who does not want to be friends with me. I'm good people. It is her loss if she does not want a piece of my fabulosity. Now, I think it's funny. I mean, come on. You're some kind of hot-shit preschool parent who gets to pick and choose who sits at the cool parent's table? That's lame, man. LAME. I'll have no part of it.

The, there was this incident a few weeks ago, where a few of us were having a conversation (mean to me mom included), and I was pointedly NOT INVITED to a thing, and I will admit it made me feel awkward. Three of us were chatting about our kids and an activity that they all participate in, and she told the other mom that she and her kid should do the activity with her and her kid next time. But not me and my kid. I mean, she didn't say not us, but she was overtly NOT inviting us. Awkward! And also, WTF?

(This was so much more awkward and lame than I can fully convey here. She also did this weird name-dropping thing, and the name she dropped was someone that I know and know well and personally and have for like a decade, though I refrained from admitting my association. Meanwhile, the mom who was supposed to be impressed by the name dropping was like, "I don't know who that it." It was a bit hilarious.)

Now, it did not make me sad. I do not want to be this lady's friend. But how about she just STOP BEING A JERK! Jerky Jerkerton from Jerkville. Jerkface. Jerkington. Jerky-Jerk Jerk Jerk Jerk. J-E-R-K. I usually just laugh inside at her lameness and passive aggressive attempts to hurt my feelings, but this attempt at exclusion just seemed really extreme and I guess I just don't understand why.

So, did you miss me?

2011-11-21T09:21:00.000-05:00

Well, hello there! I know, long time, right? Weeks! I've been up to lots and lots of stuff. So have my kids. He's the short of it.

Oscar successfully completed soccer and started skating lessons. He claims to want to play hockey, so I figure he's to to start with the basics.

Miles has been his normal cute and charming self, though he's been doing this thing where he's completely obsessed with me and will not let Nelson do anything for him. I have to pour all his drinks, fix his bath, get him dressed. I love the little guy, but it's kind of exhausting. He's starting show signs of being over this, though.

I have not done any holiday shopping,.

I have a 5K in two weeks and I'm not ready.

I've been doing a little paid writing and editing, and that the reason for the lack of holiday shopping and lack of running.

Nelson's birthday is in two weeks, and the party is the same day as my 5K because I'm trying to do too many things at once and doing nothing very well.

My family has eaten take out a record number of times in the past three weeks.

I have gone to a record number of town meetings that have been painfully, painfully long. Like three hours long. Blah, blah, blah with all the blahing, folks.

My writing/edit gig was taking up all my free writing time, and that's mostly slowed up, so I should be back at the blogging. I have a good one it the queue about a preschool mom that dislikes me, but I can't decide if I should post it. Some of the other parents know I blog and I'm not sure if the mean mom is one of them. Should I risk it? Should I?

Camping: Here's how it went down

2011-10-27T10:27:00.000-04:00

We packed up the car Thursday night and the boys and hit the road shortly before noon on Friday. The park where we were camping is a little more than an hour northwest of here. The fall color up is peaking right now and it was absolutely gorgeous. It was downright distracting as we were driving up the mountain.

I checked in, bought out wood for campfires, and headed to our site. The boys were so excited. The got out and started exploring the woods around our site, and because it is fall and the leaves are thin, I had no trouble seeing them. Then, the middle-aged couple (who had three grown boys) came over and insisted on helping me make camp. It was really nice. They were my saviors. They brought me a cup of coffee every morning, and kept a spare set of eyes out for my boys.

That first day, the boys just wanted to play in the tent and around the campground and that was fine. It was cool (in the 50s), cloudy, and VERY windy. I should have brought gloves for the boys, but it was supposed to be sunny and in the 60s so I did not think of it. Poor little Miles kept saying, "My hands are fweezing!"

The wind made it tough to build a fire, but I eventually made it happen and we had dinner and s'mores, brushed our teeth, got in our PJs and went to bed. It went pretty smoothly, but it was very windy and cold that night, down in the low 40s. Brrr!

We got up early the next morning, had breakfast (bagels), the boys got dressed and played around the campsite for a bit, then we decided to take a morning hike to the waterfall. I somehow chose one of the more strenuous hikes with lots of rocky paths, and several rocky cliff and outcroppings, but the boys did great. It took us about and hour to get to the waterfall, which was a downward hike, and about and hour to get back up.

When we got back to camp, we had hot chocolate and peanut butter sandwiches, and then we made signs of fall collages with leaves and acorns. Here is where I made a terrible mistake. The friendly neighbor campers offered the boys each two mellowcreme pumpkins, and I allowed them to have them. I don't let my kids (Oscar in particular) have artificial food dyes because they make them nuts. They just can't be controlled (Oscar; Miles is pretty much fine.) But, I figured it was just two candies, and we were outside and they would burn off the crazy.

After the collages/pumpkins, we went and climbed this rock formation called Bear Rock, and then we returned for dinner. While I was making the campfire, the kids were playing around the front of the van. Now, I'd been telling them all weekend not to play around the front of the van because when they play there I can't see or hear them, and it's also right next to the road.

I went to the van to scoot them to the front and I saw that someone (Oscar) had been using a rock to "draw" on the hood of the van. And by "draw" I mean scratch the surface down to the paint. A terrible row ensued and he ended up with a time out and tears and apologies and dinner and more bad behavior (dragging Miles around by his hood, knocking Miles the ground, threatening to run away) and OHMYGOD is it bedtime yet?

And it was and we all slept like rocks.

The next day was pancakes and breaking camp (which I did all by myself, thank you very much) and we headed home just before noon. No more drama.

Save the scratches on the van and the three or so hours of atrocious behavior from Oscar, we had a great time. Just look at the photos. Could they smile any bigger?

On our hike. The wanted a photo on every rock and fallen tree.

Woman make fire.

Fall color

The kids called this the T-Rex rock.

Fallen tree = photo op.

Climbing Bear Rock.

This was on our hike. Steep and rocky!

The tree stump by our campground was the center of their play.

Another fallen tree! Say "hike!"

Moms that camp

2011-10-24T11:06:00.001-04:00

I took the boys on a camping trip solo this weekend. Just me, a 2.5-year-old and 4-year-old, sleeping in a tent and cooking over a campfire for two days and two nights.

This was not my first time camping. The wasn't even my first time camping with the boys. But it was my first time camping ALONE with the boys. Oscar is a great age for camping, and I think Miles is right at the lower limit for camping - around 2 or 2-and-a-half. Not that you can't take a baby camping, but no way would I take a baby AND a toddler camping together by myself.

Anyways, I decided to take them on this trip for a few reasons. First, we had promised the boys we'd go camping at least once more before it got too cold. Second, Nelson is studying for a big professional exam and there's not much I can do to help, other than give him time, space, and quiet to study. Third, camping with Oscar and Miles is fun, and I wanted to take them and create this good memory for all three of us.

Nelson was surprised that I offered to take them on a camping trip alone, and suggested I try to find someone to go with us. It's not so much that he thought I couldn't do it, but logistically, camping with small children is tough. Normally, one of us rides herd while the other pitches the tent and makes camp. He was worried it'd be difficult for me to make/break camp and also watch the kids, and that is a valid concern. I had that concern myself.

So, I did try to recruit others to camp with us with no success. Regardless, I had told the boys about the trip and committed to them that I'd take them, so we were going. I felt nervous, but Nelson kept reminding me that I'm an experienced camper, and an experienced parent. There was nothing that we would be doing that I had not done before and that I could not handle.

I got lots of comments, both on Facebook and at the campground, about the fact that I was camping with too small boys. "It's really impressive that you'd take on camping with two small boys" and "Just you and the little ones? Good for you" and "You are doing a really great job with them" (from the campers next door) and "You're a rockstar" and I believe that someone may have even nominated me for a Nobel Prize.

Someone on Facebook asked the question would people still think what I was doing was special had I been a dad camping with my kids. I appreciate that question. I think it's important that we examine traditional parenting and gender rolls, like dads take kids camping and moms bake cookies with their kids. Like, why should stay-at-home dads get more kudos than stay-at-home moms? Why is that more important and special Why is a mom camping with her kids more noteworthy and impressive than when a dad does the same thing? These are fair and important questions that we should ask ourselves and each other.

I also think it is fair to address this. Now, I don't know for sure, but based on what I heard while camping, and what I saw while camping, I really think it was the age and number of kids that I took camping with no help that people found impressive. I did see other moms camping with kids, but they were older kids. Miles was really one of the youngest kids, at least on our loop (lots of campgrounds in state parks are broken up into loops throughout the park.) It was really too cold to camp with kids much young than him unless you had a popup, which plenty of people did.

Maybe it was the novelty of seeing a mom camping solo with her kids? Like I said, there were a few others, and I personally know several other moms that camp, some alone with their kids, and even they were impressed that I'd taken two littles all by my lonesome. There were no only dads with kids on my loop (not that that never happens, but it wasn't happening where we were this weekend.)

So, tell me, what is more impressive? That I'm a mom who camps alone with her kids, or that I'm a mom who camps alone with two young children? Do you camp? Would you go by yourself with two young ones?

The saga of my stove

2011-10-19T12:02:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday, I smelled gas in the house after returning from preschool drop off. I took the kids outside, called the gas company, and they were out within hour. They confirmed a slow leak from the back right burner, turned off the gas to the stove, and instructed me to call a repairman.

So I called a repairman and scheduled them to come out between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. They never showed, never called, never nothing. I called back and rescheduled for the next day.

They guys did show up the next day, and told me that there was no gas leak and my stove was in fine working order, but was pretty old and crappy and I should just buy a new one. He turned the gas back on and left. This was Friday.

Well, on Monday, I smelled gas again. I took the kids outside, aired out the house, and it was fine. No more smell. To be clear, it was not a really STRONG gas smell. That would have freaked me out. It was more of a wafting, occasional light gas smell.

Then, on Tuesday, after preschool drop off, I smelled gas again. I took the boys outside, called the repair company and told them they needed to come back. Then, the repairman called and told me he was ordering a new regulator for my stove and he'd call back with the cost and estimated time of repair.

The problem was not the regulator. It was the BURNER. I was sure of it. So I called a different repairman and they were there in about 30 minutes. Guess what was wrong with my stove? THE BURNER. The burner had worn out, as had the igniter, as had the tube that connects to the burner knob. NOT THE REGULATOR.

So, the repairman fixed my stove so it would be safe (I cannot use that one burner) and told me he'd check on parts and call me back. Then, I called the other repairman and told them how wrong they were, and how even if the regulator had been broken, no way should he have left the gas to my stove ON. What a jackass. I'm trying to decided if I should demand my money back, since not only did he not fix my stove; he put my family's lives in danger with his carelessness and lack of knowledge and skill.

I heard back from the good repairman and they told me it would be $329 to fix my stove. My stove that probably cost $350 brand new 15 years ago. HAHAHAHAHA!

We're getting a new stove. I'm ordering it tonight, and it will be installed in about two weeks. In the mean time, my current stove is safe it use and operate. And that's the saga of my stove.

Spooked

2011-10-06T07:54:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you know this about me, but I spook easily. Funny shadows and strange noises make my heart race. Scary movies give me nightmares. I'm no fan of the dark.

I get even more spooked out when Nelson is on travel, which he has been this week (in New Hampshire, funnily enough staying at a famously haunted hotel.) Our house is really old and really quiet at night, which is great, except when you DO hear something, a creak or a bump, it's even spookier because it is always so silent.

This not to say my house is scary. I've never really been scared of my house. I know some old houses are spooky but mine is not one of them. Mine is very comforting and homey. It has always calm and safe to me.

Last night, I was having trouble falling asleep, as I often do when Nelson it out of town. I finally fell asleep while reading a book a book that was a little odd (monsters and elves and witches and magicians), and I fell right into a dream about this book. So, the dream was a little odd. Not scary exactly, but definitely a little creepy. I don't really remember the dream, just that it had to do with the book and it had a creepy feeling.

I woke with a start because I heard the water go on in my bathroom sink. It came on slowly, went off, and then came on with a more forceful rushing sound, and then went off again. There seemed to be some stirring in the bathroom. I check the time and it was 12:30am, so I'd been asleep for maybe an hour, hour and a half. After a few seconds, the water came on again in the same pattern; slow, off, rushing, off.

I was feeling a little creepy from my dream, and the water sounds from the dark bathroom sent one of those ice water chills down my spine. Who or what was in my goddamn bathroom? Whenever I have these moments, I remind myself that I'm a parent now and I need to harness my irrational fears and look for rational answers, so that's what I did.

Miles had woken briefly earlier in the evening and stumbled sleepily through my room and into the bathroom. He came out teary-eyed requesting water. I went into his room and got his water cup and gave it to him. He drank it down and I went into the bathroom to refill it. He drank some more and then I walked him back to bed.

So, I decided it was certainly possibly that it was Miles in the dark bathroom getting himself a drink. He can reach the faucet when he uses his stool, which is permanently beside the sink, and he loves to drink directly from the faucet. So I called out to him.

"Miles? Miles? Is that you? Whatcha doing, buddy?"

And then things got eerily quiet. I had sensed some stirring from the bathroom, but after I called to Miles things were just...still.

(I'm getting chills remembering this.)

So, I was like, okay, it MUST be Miles, right? Because he heard me calling and went still because he's not supposed to play at the sink. So I called him again.

"Miles? Miles come in here with Momma."

Stillness. Quiet. Chills.

Miles was NOT in that bathroom. Who or what was in my damn bathroom?

And then I had to pee.

There was no avoiding it. I had to get up and go into the bathroom. Even if I did not have to pee, faucets running at midnight bear checking out. I turned on my lamp.

My dog was by the bed and she was only slightly disturbed by my calling and the light. At that point, I knew no one and nothing were in the bathroom. She'd have heard them; she'd have growled or barked. I marched myself into the bathroom.

I flicked on the light. Empty. The sink was a little damp near the drain, but there did not seem to be fresh water because of course there was no fresh water because no one was in my bathroom. I realized that the faucet sounds were likely just pieces of my dream that had broken through to reality as I was waking up. I sat in bed with the lights on for a few moments to reassure myself, and then went back to sleep with little trouble.

Several hours later, I was woken again, this time by the sound of Miles crying. He was crying and saying, "No! No, no, no! Oscar? Oscar?" (Oscar was beside me in the bed already, having sneaked in at some earlier point in the night.)

He came out of his room, shut his bedroom door, and continued crying, asking for me. He was a bit confused, and did not seem to know quite what to do next.

"Miles, I'm in here Miles. So is Oscar. Come on in, buddy."

He stumbled in and I hoisted him up onto my bed where he promptly snuggled into my armpit.

"Are you okay, buddy?"

"No one's out there? No one's out there?"

He was shaking. He was clearly terrified. He was asking for reassurance.

"Nope, no one's out there," I told him, and as I said it, I shivered a little myself.

This day, man, THIS DAY

2011-09-28T11:08:00.000-04:00

I am not having a great day. It really started last night when Oscar stayed up until 10:30pm and I ended up yelling and he ended up calling me a monster (which he almost immediately took back, professing his undying love, but still.) And then Miles was in our bed before I even fell asleep, so I slept horribly and had an awful time waking up.

My plantar facitis was really hurting this morning, as it tends to in mornings, but was much worse today. Miles woke up with me this morning, and both boys were up by 6:30am. I don't want sound like I don't like my children or anything, but in general my days go better if I can have a few minutes to start my day without them, particularly on days where I have early morning chores to do, like vacuuming and de-cluttering. It's just impossible to do that stuff with them under foot.

They were actually getting along pretty well. For like 30 minutes. And then Oscar started antagonizing Miles, which lead to lots of yelling and whining, some of it actually from the children.

Then they refused to tell me what they wanted for breakfast so I made eggs, which Miles devoured and Oscar picked at.

Of course neither of them wanted to go upstairs to get dress, and when we were finally up there, Oscar changed his outfit no less than three times. I had to chase Miles down and physically wrestle him into his pants, and I believe I actually said to the boys, "You know, you guys could actually do things to make my mornings easier. Did you know that? Instead of maximizing the difficulty of every situation you could just, you know, do what I ask?" And then they laughed at me and kicked the walls and I asked them to stop kicking and they kicked again and then I yelled, "STOP KICKING THE WALL. I'M YELLING NOW. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? I'M YELLING."

That was actually the moment when I finally realized I was having a crap day, because I was taking their fairly typical behavior quite personally, and because I was yelling before 8AM. Believe me when I say no one hates my yelling more than I hate my yelling. Yelling at my kids always, always, always makes me feel worse. I'm actually pretty good at avoiding yelling for this very selfish reason.

I wish I could say this self realization helped me to improve my morning, but it did not. Now, on the plus side, Oscar was finally listening to me. I told him when we got downstairs he was to put on his shoes and clean up the several hundred cars he dumped onto the floor. He did those things. Or rather, he put on his shoes and then spent 25 minutes picking up about half of his cars.

Anyways, it was time for school and it was raining so I had to get them into their raincoats. Miles refused and I was like "Whatever, kid, get wet." But, of course, as we were walking out the door Miles started screaming, "MY RAIN JACKET! WHERE'S MY RAIN JACKET?! I NEED MY RAIN JACKET!" So I got his rain jacket on and had my arms full of Oscar's school stuff and Miles whines, "I need my blanket," I just dropped everything on the floor and went to find the blanket.

About 2 minutes into the trip, I realized that I'd forgotten an 3 week overdue library book (it had been missing) for the second time this week. Damn it.

We ended up leaving late, and 3/4 of the way to school the sky just opened up and a deluge of rain came down. A deluge we would have missed had we left on time. Now I was staring at having to haul both boys out of the van and into the school during a downpour.

Luckily, another mom saw me pull in and agreed to wait next to the van so I could leave Miles. She and I do this for each other all the time - one of us will stay at the car with the toddlers and the other will drop off/pick up the 4-year-olds. It's nice. She'd gotten her daughter in before the rain, but had not left yet and very, very, nicely waited. It was a very good moment in an otherwise difficult morning.

Now, I'm feeling grumpy and tired and trying to change this mood. I'm going to make a homemade chicken pot pie for dinner. I might go for run this evening. Looking forward to those things has already boosted my mood. I also ate four peanut butter crackers and I might catch a nap before preschool pick up.

And? The sun is shining.

Here's to hoping this day is on an upswing. Hope your day is going better than mine.

It's been a long day

2011-09-22T14:14:00.000-04:00

Messes I've cleaned since last night:

1. Water, from Oscar, his bed. He though it'd be cute to shake his water bottle and made droplets fly and annoy me, but the lid was not secure so the entire lid flew off, spilling water all over Oscar, his bed, his bunny, his pillow, and his comforter

2. Water, from the bathroom floor and Miles, two bath towel's worth. Miles turned on the faucet and then move the faucet so it was running, full bast, on the floor of the bathroom as opposed to in the sink.

3. Chocolate milk, from the kitchen floor, cabinet, and pantry door. See #1, replace "Oscar" with "Miles."

4. Stamp in, from my floor, Miles, and Oscar. Instead of stamping the stamps, they decided to create fingerprint art on my floors and their faces. We were late for school.

5. Urine, from the living room floor. Miles let loose all over the floor 20 minutes after he peed in the bathroom.

6. Poop, from Miles and his pants. Yep.

7. Urine, from the bathroom floor. Oscar though it would be FUNNY to pee in Miles's potty. And on the front of the toilet. Do you know what back splash is? I do.

Little bunny lost

2011-09-19T09:31:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, we went out to dinner at a favorite local restaurant. The reason it is a favorite is because it is very kid friendly - kid menus, cups with lids, booster seats, high chairs, and there is also a general store attached that is filled with over-priced toys, beer, wine, and assorted knickknacks and gadgets.

I was getting the boys out of the car, and I suggested to Oscar that he leave his beloved Bunny in the car, so he would get lost or be forgotten.

"But Bunny is a little baby and he'll cry and cry if I leave him in the car!"

Not wanting to start our outing out with dramatics, I just let him bring the damn Bunny into the restaurant.

"Okay, but you better keep an eye on that Bunny."

We had to wait about 20 minutes for a table. My mom agreed to buy the boys a toy from the general store, and I told them that would be fine but their behavior had to be OUTSTANDING, or there would be no toy.

Needless to say, their behavior was only moderately good, but even moderately good is significantly better than their average restaurant behavior, so I took Miles over to the store while my mom waited at the table to pay the check. They met us in the store two or three minutes later.

After much hemming and hawing and toy testing, they each settled on an item. I think Miles got a train and Oscar got a car or an airplane. We paid and left.

We live about a five minute drive from the restaurant, and as I was unbuckling Oscar from his seat he says to me,

"Where's my Bunny?"

"I don't know where your Bunny is Oscar. You are in charge of Bunny. Did you bring him to the car?"

The tears welled up in his eyes, and his voice got shaky.

"No. I forgot him. I forgot Bunny! WAAA!"

We got back in the car and headed back to the restaurant. My mom went in to look for Bunny. As she was leaving the car, Oscar asked, "What if Meme does not find my Bunny?"

I told him, "Well, then you are just going to have to live without your Bunny."

"I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY BUNNY!"

It was tragic.

Meme did not find Bunny. She talked with the owner, and told her of Oscar's preference for death to life without Bunny and he was very sympathetic and promised to make efforts to find Bunny.

I went in and searched after my mom and I did not find Bunny either.

No Bunny.

I left our name and number so they could call us if they found Bunny, but I was not terribly hopeful. Locating the thing in that general store, which has has a huge section dedicated to stuffed animals, was just and impossible task.

Let me tell you, I was angry at my child. I was furious. He lost that Bunny and now bedtime was going to be awful. If he had just left the damn thing in the car, he would be home in bed and we would not have this problem.

And Oscar was devastated. I had no idea how he was going to survive.

I had a back up Bunny in the basement so I brought that up. My mom told Oscar that the back up bunny had been living in the basement and was very sad because he did not have anyone to love him like Oscar loved Bunny. Maybe Oscar could love the new Bunny until he found his old one?

Oscar decided that the back up bunny was his Bunny's dad, and he would love it. It was not his Regular Bunny, and it did not "smell right" or have the right worry spots, but it would do. He was very brave. He went to sleep with his new Bunny.

In the morning he woke up and lost no time asking me for his Regular Bunny.

"You don't have Regular Bunny anymore. He was lost in the restaurant. You have the New Bunny now, Bunny's dad."

He cried a bit and then held his new Bunny.

"He does not smell right."

"He will eventually."

"He does not feel right."

"He will, Oscar, once you've loved him for a long time."

"Okay."

The day went on and I got a call from a friend and I had to help her get her fool of an almost-ex-husband out of jail. It took all day. Seriously, do not get arrested. It's a major pain in the ass for the people who have to get you un-arrested. Nelson was home with the boys. They checked the restaurant again for Bunny. No dice.

Anyways, she and I were heading back home after a very long day, when I got a call from a local number that I did not recognize. I took the call, and it was the restaurant. They found Bunny!

The store clerk told me she was restocking the wine shelves in the back, and she found him, placed high on a shelf. If she had not restocked that day, it could have been weeks before she found him.

My friend and I went down to the restaurant and retrieved Bunny. It was nice that something so great happened on an otherwise monumentally shitty day.

I have never heard such a shriek of delight from my child as when I presented him with that Bunny. He was beside himself with joy.

Since then, he has done a great job with leaving Bunny in the car when we go somewhere, and he even leaves him in the car DURING SCHOOL. That's huge. He never wants to forget that Bunny anywhere ever again, and neither do I.

Preschool, the first day

2011-09-09T07:12:00.000-04:00

First day of preschool, 2011:

For reference, last year's first day:

It's like natural disaster central here, y'all

2011-09-06T07:08:00.000-04:00

An earthquake and a hurricane! In the same week. And flash flooding expected this week. I'm still waiting for the brimstone.

Now, I know west coast folks have been giving us east coasters a hard time over our earthquake experience, but I would just like to say that WE DON'T QUAKE. It is not a normal occurrence here. We do not know what to think when our homes begin shaking and crap starts falling off the walls. Cut us some slack.

Personally, I thought it was a big truck passing by my house. Then, when my windows started shimmying and the plaster in my walls started crackling I thought my house was falling down. So, I quickly ran through a mental list of the most probably reasons my house would fall down:

1. Bomb in DC (no, I hadn't heard an explosion)
2. Furnace explosion (no, my house would be burning)
3. Earthquake? (Oh, EARTHQUAKE!)

So I hustled the boys into the doorway of what I hoped was a load bearing wall and sort of cocooned over them and waited it out. It was like 30 seconds. Except for Benji who was upstairs and slept through the whole thing, and Oscar, who would not duck and cover and insisted on standing beneath the ceiling fan and asking me questions, as is his way. "Why is the house moving?" "Why are things falling?" "Why is it an earth shake?" "Why do I have to come over there?"

It was weird, the way the floor rolled under my feet. I remember thinking, "This is not a big deal," but my heart was hammering and I was clinging to those little boys imagining all the bad things that COULD have happened, you know?

Anyways, we were all fine. Danny was a little rattled for the rest of the day, and I had to spend more time than I thought possible explaining tectonic plates and the Earth's crust to Oscar. He was in nerd heaven.

Then we had the hurricane, which was no big in our parts. Lots of rain, some wind. Downed tree limbs. We lost power for about an hour. But I understand that some folks are STILL without power so you are probably not reading this, but I hope you have electricity soon.

Now I have to go get a little boy ready for his first day of school, and this includes washing some long pants because it is only like 60 degrees out and raining today. Hello, fall.

Things I've survived in the past week

2011-08-29T22:15:00.000-04:00

1. An earthquake (my first!)

2. A category 1 hurricane

3. Cancellation of my vacation (see above hurricane)

4. A child losing his beloved bunny

5. Bailing a fool out of jail

Guess which one was the most stressful?

I guess I need to be more clear about stuff

2011-08-25T07:03:00.000-04:00

Dear Nelson,

When I asked you to throw the sheets into the dryer, I though the fact that you should also turn on the dryer was implied. Clearly, I was mistaken. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sour sheets to rewash, and shortly thereafter, to dry. In the dryer.

Your loving wife,

Jenni

The Shore

2011-08-22T09:17:00.000-04:00

I'm back from a long weekend in Long Beach Island. It was my first visit to the Jersey Shore and I tried to get in as much Jersey Shore-ing as possible. I think I succeeded.

We arrived late Thursday night after traveling through some torrential downpours. Me and four of my girlfriends packed into one car (it was a wagon) and it was crowded in the back, but I was in the front so it was just fine for me. I know this sounds selfish, but I declared to them all in the car that for the entire weekend, I was only worrying about myself and I would not be taking care of anyone but me all weekend. They were okay with that.

I generally sleep poorly away from home, but I actually slept really, really well on Thursday night. I woke up that morning and my friend Nancy made us all waffles and bloody Mary's and then she made me another bloody Mary which I took along with me when we went sailing.

We had a lovely sailboat ride, captained by my friend Nancy's dad (it was her parent's who were hosting us for the weekend) and crewed, in part, by yours truly. That's right, kids, I crewed a sailboat. I'm not regatta ready or anything but I can pull some ropes and let them out and generally follow instructions so I think I did okay.

Then we went back to the house and had a couple of mojitos, some lunch, and headed to the beach. I don't know what I did when we came home from the beach. I think I read my book and relaxed and snacked as I was not on dinner duty. Then, two more of my girlfriends arrived and we had dinner and our wine club and that was fun and I drank just enough but not too much, which is a always a bit of a challenge for me, so things went really well on that front.

The next morning I went out and bought bagels and lox for breakfast and had more bloody mary's. Then we declared that 11AM was mojito o'clock so we had more of those and then went over to the neighbor's pool where I sat and read all afternoon. Everyone kept teasing me about how relaxed I was and asking did I miss my kids and I was like, "No, because you assholes keep interrupting my reading, so it's practically like there are here." I'm just kidding. I think I called them jerks.

That night we went to a social at Nancy's parents' yacht club and that was super fun. The drinks were quite strong. I asked for a gin and tonic and I got a gin and gin. My friend Amy was like, "Just drink it. By the time your are done it won't matter how strong it is." She was right. My friend Tracy, who is breastfeeding, asked them to make her drink like and the bartender was like, "What? I'm not making them strong." And then he proceeded to fill her entire glass with rum and splash some grapefruit juice on top. He was a little grumpy.

So, most of the yacht club members were in their 60s and 70s (and 80s), so we were the youngest by at least 30 years, and that was good, especially when the time came to play games. I was drafted to play a game where I had to strap and plastic sand pail to my head, and my friend Tracy had to bounce ping pong balls into the bucket for one minute. We were competing against another team. We got 3 ping pong balls and they got ZERO. WE WON, OLD PEOPLE! We crushed them. I realize maybe I should not have been yelling, "IN YOUR FACE OLD MAN!" to my competitor and giving my partner double high fives, but did I mention the drinks were strong?

I also may have called out another player for cheating on a different game, but no one cared. They gave me this look that was like, "Shut up. We say he wins and don't care if he cheats." Whatever. Cheaters.

Then, we all went to Karaoke and that was fun and funny and there were these guy who used props and got dressed up and sang Man Eater. If you like Karaoke, this is about as good as it gets. If you dislike Karaoke, you'd have been miserable.

We got home sometime after one and I went to sleep shortly there after. My poor friend Amy had been drinking bourbon all night and did not feel fantastic. We had quiche for breakfast, tidied up the house and headed home. I got home around 5PM on Sunday and the kids shrieked with delight and hugged me and asked me if I'd saved them any cookies or brownies (I'd brought some to the shore.) I had not, but I did bring them home a soft pretzel and that sufficed.

And now I'm home and doing regular life stuff and avoiding laundry. How was your weekend?

Getting things done

2011-08-18T13:11:00.000-04:00

I called our town pubic works yesterday and ordered a new trashcan, since our large, curbside bin has an enormous crack and can barely hold in our garbage any more. I also called the local locksmith and ordered a new lock core for our front door.

I also called up this company that is administering a professional exam Nelson is taking this fall. We sent in the test fee of $275 and they sent it back, less $50 administrative fee, telling us that there was a new company administering the exam and they would contact us about paying the exam fee. Well, they did, and the exam fee was $275, which seemed wrong to us because we'd already paid $50 and there's no way the fee could have gone up by 20% with no kind of notification or anything, right?

So I called an was all, "Hey, we already paid $50, so it should just be $225." And they were all, "No, the fee has gone up." And then I asked, "By 20%? That's kind of a lot, don't you think? Particularly during a bum economy when people have less money than usual, right?" And then he responded, "..." And then I asked what we were getting for this 20% increase and the guy was like, "Uh, nothing?" Which I knew but I was just giving the poor sod a hard time because I was irritated. So that's how that went.

I spent the morning baking brownies and cookies and then hiding those cookies and brownies from my children, since they are for this weekend's escapades and not for their consumption. I mean, I did give them each one brownie and one cookie, but I haven't baked in months (the heat), so they are dying for some baked goods.

I realize I should have just baked them a second batch of cookies, but I didn't have enough butter or chocolate chips. I usually have more than enough stuff to bake several types/batches of cookies, but the weather has not been baking weather so I allowed my stores to diminish.

I signed Oscar up for soccer. I'm looking forward to being a perfectly mediocre/sub-par soccer mom. I also look forward to the many arguments about going to soccer practices and games that are sure to ensue (because Oscar does this thing? Where even when we are doing something he enjoys, he still fights about it? It's pretty great.); and what is sure to be a crushing disappointment on the part of Miles William who is too young to play.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. I leave this house for an entire weekend in less than six hours. I'll catch ya on the flip.

Could this be right?

2011-08-17T09:04:00.000-04:00

So, each summer I brace myself for a dramatic increase in our electric bill. This increase comes, without fail, the cost creeping up in May and maxing out by August, and then is gradually falls back to a less heart-attack inducing rate.

In the cooler months we pay around $50 a month (we use natural gas for heat) and in the warmer months, our bill ranges from $150-$230, depending on the month. It will usually go from $50 to $100 to $180 and on up the the top. It has been as high as $280 some summers, but we've figured out how to manage our air conditioner usage to keep it below that. Also, we have window units, not central air. This is one of the many joys (heh) of living in 93-year-old house.

Usually, we have one window unit downstairs on all the time, and two upstairs that I turn on for nap time and bed time. This summer has be HOT. A real scorcher, even by DC standards. This means there have been weeks where I've had all our window units on all the time. I expected our electric bill to be through the roof.

I braced myself for the August bill, usually our highest bill. $163. !!! I was shocked. Last August our electric bill was $230, and we definitely used more AC this year than last year. I checked, and our usage is down by more than 200 units over this time last year! Now it is true that we conserve. We keep lights off during the day, unplug appliances that we are not using, only run the dishwasher once a day, wash most of our clothes in cold water (though we use natural gas for heat), stuff like that. But we haven't notched up our efforts on that front. Just the same as we always do.

What we have done this past year is switch all of the light bulbs in our house to compact fluorescent bulbs. We just did it gradually as the old ones died, we replaced them with CFLs and I think now we are at about 90% CFLs. That's really the only difference, the only real change we have made.

Could this be right? Our energy usage is down by about 15%, maybe a little more (math is hard!). Has anyone else switched to CFLs and noticed this much of difference? I think it is pretty dramatic.

I think this is possible

2011-08-16T11:39:00.000-04:00

My kids have been annoying me. More than usual. Like, usually they whine and I'm like, "Okay, Whiny McWhinepants, if you can tell me what you need without whining, you got it!" or "Whineville called and they want their whining back" or "Lets get out of Whinetown and use our regular voices, okay?" This works surprisingly well. They think I'm funny. I've even caught Oscar calling Miles Whiny McWhinepants one day.

But these past few days I'm like, "Oh my GOD please stop whining" or "Good lord my EARS are BLEEDING." It could be that they are whining more, but the baseline whine around here is already pretty high. I think I'm just more irritated by the whining because I know that in two and a half short days, I will not have to deal with their whining for almost three whole days. THREE WHOLE DAYS.

I'm going out of town on a grown up lady weekend with my other lady friends. I plan to drink bloody mary's with breakfast, beers by the pool, wine with dinner, and not let anyone else eat off my plate. I will not be wiping anyone else's urine off the bathroom floor or explaining why we do not play in the toilet. No fighting over bedtime or getting dressed or eating breakfast or lunch or not having Popsicles for breakfast. I will not have to deal with anyone laughing at me as I get increasingly frustrated or upset. I will not have to beg and plead and fight over dinner and bath time and bed time an who's turn it is to watch what show. The only behind I will be wiping is my own.

All I have to do is keep this dog and pony show going until 7PM Thursday night. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Complaints, I have a few

2011-08-15T11:55:00.000-04:00

Is there anything worse than a summer cold? I mean, obviously there are things worse than a summer cold, but you know what I mean. My head, ears, nose, chest, all congested. My throat, sore. My muscles, aching. Complete bodily exhaustion. It's been a week. I'm over this.

It has been raining like the dickens here. Not that I should complain as it has not really rained in DC since sometime in May, but it's just that this is the end of the summer and our last few weeks of the pool and we can't even go because there is pretty much thunder all day long.

Oscar has been terribly defiant and ugly lately if he does not get his way. He's been making threats, "I'll take all your stuff and throw it in the trash!" "I'm just going to throw things on the floor!" "I"m going to scream until you let me XXX!" He's also been physical, intentionally scratching or trying to squeeze our hands until it hurts. So that has been fun. We're giving him time outs and that generally stops the behavior in the moment, but there has been not decrease in the behavior in general. I'm hoping he's just board and ready for school to start. I know I am.

Miles has finally decided to live up the the terrible twos. My sweet little boy now throws temper tantrums with impressive noise and longevity over basically nothing. Screaming, crying, throwing himself on the floor, kicking, flailing; the works! And then after about 15 or 20 minutes he just stops. Super.

God, that was self indulgent, but I am feeling slightly better.

Camping: The evidence

2011-08-11T10:17:00.000-04:00

Camping breakfast

Our swimming hole

The first morning at our campsite

Nelson told them to make "camping faces"

More camping faces

On our hike

Hikers

Playing around the campsite

Campfire

Dinner

Early morning camper

Miles, practicing his Nelson face

Trees, duh

Oscar and I with his first fish; he cast the line, but I reeled it in

Reeling in his first fish

First fish with Dad (we think it may have been the same exact fish)

Persepective

2011-08-10T12:20:00.000-04:00

The end of day three of camping:

Nelson: Fine, you guys can watch Bolt on the portable DVD player.

Oscar & Miles: Yeah!

Jenni: So, are you really going to let them watch that movie? Isn't the whole point of this trip to hang out together and be outside and active and stuff?

Nelson: Well, yeah, but it's just that I've been around them all day every day for the past three days. We need a break. Some grown up time.

Jenni: You think?

Nelson: ....

Jenni: Because I'm around them all day, everyday of every week.

Nelson: ...

Jenni: Okay?

Nelson: Yeah, okay. I get it.

Guess who got to nap in the hammock that day all by her lonesome?

Happy campers

2011-08-09T09:20:00.000-04:00

So, earlier this year I had word that Nelson was to take a trip to Vermont in early August and I decided that the boys and I would go on up there as well. I thought maybe we'd do some camping and some maple syrup tasting and whatever all they do up in Vermont.

Then about a month or two ago, Nelson's trip was canceled, but since I'd already requested the week off from watching Benji, and Susanne and Monica had already made alternate arrangements for his care, I decided we'd still go on a trip. A camping trip. Why the heck not? That's what families do right?

Now, to be clear, this is not what my family did. We NEVER went camping. Not even one time. Maybe one time in our urban backyard. Nelson, being an Eagle Scout, has camped many, many times. He's quite an experienced camper. He and I went a few times post college and I did not hate it, but that was back in what Nelson refers to as my "cosmopolitan days" so I was more into going out for beers than sleeping in tents.

Nelson had done some yard camping with the boys and they liked it so I was like, "Let's go on an enormous camping trip and see how that works out." That's kind of how I do things. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal. My husband, being married to me and all, fully signed on to my proposal without a hint of concern or nay saying. He was like, "Yes, lets do that."

We did not want to go all the way up to Vermont, but we did want to head north, out of the terrible 100+ degree temps we'd been enduring here in DC. I decided Western Mass would be the place - less than a day's drive, and close to family so we could do some visiting. We'd planned to camp for three nights and then do a hotel for two, but the more I though about it the more I just waned to camp for the full five nights.

Nelson though we could do it, but we decided to play it by ear. If the first three nights went well, we'd go for two more.

(What Nelson failed to tell me at the planning of the trip was that he had three (THREE!!!!) papers due August 1. That's a lot of papers. However, he got them all finished before we left and he told me it was the first time in recent memory that he had not been working on papers up to the wire. It meant that I had to do all the camping preparations myself, but who are we kidding? I'd have been in charge the prep work anyways.)

The drive up went not so great. It should have taken us around seven hours and it took closer to nine thanks to traffic in New York (is there ever not traffic in that godforsaken place?) The last 20 minutes of the trip, Miles was screaming, "Let me out! Let me out!" and I was feeling that, too.

But we got there, and my sister's dad was waiting for us and helped us set up camp and it was awesome. We had a great time. Delicious campfire dinner (chicken, potatoes, asparagus), s'mores, sleeping bags. It was a bit difficult for them to get to sleep that first night, but that got better once the novelty of sleeping in a tent wore off.

We had no cell phone reception. That was just fine, though we did have to drive down the mountain so Nelson could check that his papers had been received, but we needed to go down for ice anyways.

Back to camping. The weather was gorgeous - highs around 82, lows around 60. We hiked; we swam in rivers and lakes; Oscar caught his first fish; we visited family; we showered in camp showers (well, some of us did); we fished; we slept in a tent; we climbed to the summit of a mountain (okay it was a mountain in name only, but we're okay with that); we played in the woods; we poked toads. We camped our faces off, and it was great.

We did the full five nights, but I have to say four would have been enough. It's not that they were tired of camping, but the boys were ready to come home. They missed TV and their toys. They last day, all they wanted to do was watch Bolt and whine. But the rest of the trip had gone so well, it was okay. The first three nights, there weren't even any bugs. We were too high up or something. (There were lots of bugs at our second site, but there were plenty of other redeeming factors.)

And I loved it. I did not expect to love it, but I did. I loved sleeping in the tent, waking to birds singing, being outside all day long with my family. I even liked fishing! So, we are officially campers. I'm working on planning another (shorter and closer) trip for September, and maybe one for October.

Here's a photo of the family at the summit of Thumper Mountain. Thumper is not a very tall mountain, but the hike up is rated as strenuous, (even more so with small children, I might add) and it was quite steep and challenging in places, so I'm proud and thankful we all made it with no injuries and in good humor. I'll post more later this week.

Our first (very tiny) mountain summit!

The boys at the summit of Thumper Mountain. I was hovering to the left, sure they would plummet to their deaths.

This sign gave me heart palpitations. The drop was huge.

The view from Thumper Mountain

Conversations while driving

2011-08-06T18:35:00.000-04:00

Somewhere in the Berkshires

Nelson: How many times do you think they've watched Bolt on this trip?

Jenni: I don't know. A million.

Nelson: I feel like after this trip I want to sit down and actually watch the movie, since I know all the words by heart at this point.

Jenni: Yeah, me too. Oh, here it comes, the John Travolta/Miley Cirus duet.

Nelson: I guess John Travolta can sing?

Jenni: OF COURSE HE CAN SING! HELLO?! Have you ever seen Grease?

Nelson: Riiiight.

Jenni: He sang all in that movie. It's a musical!

Nelson: John Travolta's done a lot of stuff.

Jenni: He really does have a broad range of work. Saturday Night Fever. Grease.

Nelson: Broken Arrow. That was a good one.

Jenni: Those Look Who's Talking movies. Comedies! Oh, and Pulp Fiction.

Nelson: That one with the faces? Face Off?

Jenni: Yes! And there was that weird alien move? What was that called?

Nelson: John Travolta was in an alien movie?

Jenni: Yeah, he wore all that make up. Battlestar Galactica?

Nelson: He was in Battlestar Galactica?

Jenni: No, no...Battlefield Earth, that L. Ron Hubbard movie?

Nelson: Oh, right that Scientology guy.

Jenni: I don't care what anyone says, I liked that movie.

Nelson: Did people not like it?

Jenni: I don't know, but I did.

Nelson: I'll have to watch it.

Jenni: You should.

*****************

Somewhere outside of NYC, listening to a local reggae station

Nelson: Ha ha, did you hear that?

Jenni: What?

Nelson: The DJ, she just cut into the song. There, she did it again!

Jenni: She's singing the song!

DJ: I bet you didn't know I could sing.

Nelson: That's so funny.

Jenni: That is funny.

Song continues

Jenni: Is this a reggae song about Baltimore?

Nelson: It is.

Jenni: Wow. I had no idea.

Nelson: Me either.

Song continues. Three or four minutes elapse.

Nelson: Is this still the same song?

Jenni: I think so.

Nelson: I think this is a different song.

Jenni: Nelson, they are still singing about Baltimore. How many reggae songs about Baltimore could there possible be?

Nelson: I don't know.

Jenni: I guess if there is one there could be two. But I think this is the same song.

Nelson: I think you're right.

**************

Somewhere in Western MA

Nelson: So, did you boys like camping?

Oscar & Miles: Yeah!

Nelson: Should we go camping again?

Oscar & Miles: Yeah!

Jenni: Oscar, what was your favorite part about camping?

Oscar: Roasting marshmallows.

Jenni: Miles, what was your favorite part about camping?

Miles: Uncle Butch [My uncle we visited on our trip.]

RTT: Dogs, dryers, and deranged cleaning ladies

2011-07-26T10:17:00.000-04:00

Hey! I'm guesting over at Second Blooming today. Check it out.

Baby, it's hot outside

2011-07-25T14:40:00.000-04:00

We've had some record breaking heat these past few days in my neck of the woods. You may have heard. DC is a freaking sauna. When I was driving home from the grocery store at 11am on Saturday and according to my van the temperature outside was 101 degrees. ELEVEN in the morning.

It is so hot, and so humid. It's feels like walking around in hot, wet clothes. And the pool? Bath water. It's still refreshing, but not nearly enough.

We were at the pool last Thursday and the kids swam in the water for two entire hours, and then they were playing in the sandboxes. After less than 30 minutes, they were beet read and the sweat was just pouring off their little foreheads. I still had to practically drag them home.

We're going up north for some camping next week and I'm looking forward to some milder temperatures, going to bed early, and being outdoors with the boys. I have a lot of bear related anxiety, but Nelson is an Eagle Scout so that has to count for something.

Mountain time

2011-07-12T10:30:00.001-04:00

You guys, we just got back from a trip to the Smoky Mountains with Becky and let me tell you, sometimes real life disappoints. In addition to meeting her very cute and brilliant children, the famous, Hank and Laura (and our kids got on famously), we got to meet her parents who just may be the most hospitable, charming and just plain likable people I've ever had the pleasure of imposing on for several days. Her dad kept apologizing for the view, which he claims was not at it's best. It looked pretty good to me:

After three days of this, my neighbor's slightly rundown Victorian is just not doing it for me.

And her mom made us grits, you guys! Nelson's favorite part of the weekend was the tubing. Mine was meeting Becky's parents. We chatted about books, and politics, and unions, and public education, with a gorgeous backdrop. You know how sometimes you meet people and you just know they are "your people?" It was like that. They are my people, man. Seriously, if you are in the market for new parents, you should check out Becky's folks. They're good ones.

As if our weekend wasn't great enough, when we got to my in-laws to pick up our dog on Monday, we left Oscar for the night.

Today I'm doing my regular stuff - laundry, vacuuming, dusting, buying pants and underwear for my husband, going to the post office. It seems quite non glamorous after a weekend of tubing, cocktails, hot tubbing, cocktails, late nights and long chats, but it's still a good life.

Let me tell you who I am not

2011-07-06T02:12:00.002-04:00

I am not:

...the person who peels corn in the grocery store, looking for the perfect ears to take home, and pretty much blocking all other grocery store patrons from procuring corn.

...the person who tries to make it through a yellow light every time.

...the person who asks to skip in line at the grocery store because I only have like three items when you have ten.

...the person who smokes cigarettes around small children.

...the person who gets pedicures on the reg.

...the person who remembers birthdays.

...the person who gets thank you notes out on time.

...the person that yells at her kids in public.

...the person with a funny-smelling minivan.

...the person who cannot laugh at him/herself.

...the person who returns library books late.

...the person who does not return library books at all.

...the person who thinks that she is a better parent than you.

...the person who takes things too seriously.

...the person who is friends with all the moms at the nursery school.

...the person who will allow her kids to be bullied.

...the person who is the skinny, pretty mom.

...the person who always remembers to be thoughtful.

...the person who always says the right things at the right times.

...the person with a spotless house.

...the person who jaywalks.

...the person who always practices what she preaches.

...the person who gets enough sleep.

...the person with good follow through.

...the person who blames others for my own shortcomings.

...the person who stops trying.

Tell me, who are you not?

Housewifery

2011-07-05T09:01:00.001-04:00

Here are the things I have done/will do today, in no particular order:

1) Unload/reload dishwasher

2) Arrange play date for Oscar

3) Coordinate weekly playgroup

4) Pack it up and head to the pool (possibly twice, weather and children depending)

5) Call pest control (ants) and schedule visit

6) Pull together non-perishables for food drive at Nelson's work

7) 2-3 loads of laundry

8) Fix lunches/snacks

9) Plan & prepare dinner

10) Entertain/care for children (playing with them, dressing them, changing diapers, etc.)

11) Light house work - picking up, dusting, crumb wiping, bed making, etc.

12) Water/harvest garden if necessary

13) Pay the car payment

This is just how I spend my day, my basic housewifery. My motions, if you will. I recognize that this is not earth shattering, exciting stuff that involves deep thinking or strategics, but it is the important stuff that keeps my family plugging along each week. But, I have to tell you, I love this stuff, all these little tasks that push things along. Little accomplishments all day long. It suits me.

What about you? Your daily grind? Do you love it? Hate it? Gimmie the painfully boring deets.

The time that Oscar's school lost him and they kind of lied to me about it but eventually told the truth

2011-06-29T08:59:00.001-04:00

You guys, I can't believe I have not told you this story! I had to dig back through my archives to make sure, but nope, I did not tell you about that one time Oscar's school lost him and they kind of fibbed about what happened and then the next day told me the whole truth and apologized profusely.

So, this incident happened on St. Patrick's Day (this is important), so way back when in March. During lunch bunch (LB), Oscar ate his lunch and then promptly fell asleep (the LB room shared spaced with the library, which had a rug and lots of pillows.) He's fallen asleep during LB a couple of times, usually when he gets up too early or stays up late the night before. He is a child who needs is 12 hours.

Anyway, so LB is an hour long; they eat lunch for 30 minutes and then they go outside to the playground for 30 minutes, or into the gymnasium if the weather is poor. This particular day, the weather was fantastic. So fantastic that the kids did not even need jackets, so probably in the 60s at least.

Okay, so flash forward to my pick up of Oscar. I parked along the back of the playground per usual and hopped out of the car to snatch up my boy. One of the teachers, Mrs. B, came over with Oscar and gave me his bag and said to me something like (I do not recall her exact, exact words, but this is the gist), "Oscar fell asleep during lunch bunch today, but when he woke up, Mrs. T [the director of the school] brought him out to the playground."

Now, I thought this was a little strange. As I've said before, Oscar has fallen asleep during LB on other occasions and they always wake him up to take him outside or to the gym or whatever. It seemed a little off to me that they'd leave my 3.5-year-old asleep and unattended in the LB room. Now, Mrs. T's office is right across from the LB room so I thought, "Maybe they asked Mrs. T to watch him? Maybe he would not wake up?" But it would be strange for Oscar not to wake up; he's good about that.

So I'm quickly thinking all these things, but I also have Miles and Benji in the car behind me and while they are only a few yards away and not going to perish in these two minutes I'm taking to grab Oscar, I really don't like leaving them and I'm feeling rushed to get back to them, so I just say, "Oh, okay, thanks," and hustle Oscar to the car.

Once I have Oscar strapped in, I begin grilling him.

"So, you fell asleep during lunch bunch?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel okay?"

"Yes."

"What happened when you woke up?"

"Everyone was gone, and Mrs. T. heard me turning a doorknob and brought me outside."

"Was the door to the lunch bunch room closed?" (?!?!?!?)

"No."

"What doorknob were you turning, buddy?"

"...."

"Were you afraid when you woke up and everyone was gone?"

"Yeah, I was a little bit nervous."

"But then Mrs. T got you and took you outside and you feel fine?"

"Yes and I played and played!"

"Okay."

After this conversation it still was not very clear to me what happened and I decide to talk with Mrs. T myself in the morning to try and get to the bottom of things. I mean, clearly Oscar was fine, but I just wanted to know what happened, and to let them know that I was not comfortable with them leaving him asleep in the lunch bunch room by himself. I was not angry or anything, but that's just not okay and I wanted to be clear with them that it was not okay.

The next morning I take Oscar in for drop off and before I got a chance to go visit with Mrs. T, another of the teachers, Mrs. W, came up to me and said, "Can I speak with you in private for a moment? We had an incident with Oscar yesterday and I just want to clarify what what exactly happened."

This made me nervous. Before she and I even started talking, I knew that what I had been told had happened, had not really happened, and that made sense to me because really, they would never have left a kid unattended, even if he were sleeping. Their whole job is to attend to him (and the other kids); they would not just leave him. Of course not.

So, nervous.

"As you know, we had an incident with Oscar yesterday and I just wanted to make sure you know exactly what happened."

"Okay..."

"Oscar was feeling sleepy during lunch bunch, so he went over to the pillows and took a nap. We woke him up when it was time to go out to the playground and he got at the end of the line. I was leading the line out to the playground and Mrs. B was at the back of the line. Before we got outside, she had to turn around because we forgot someone's bag. When she got back out and we counted the kids, one was missing."

"Oscar."

And the Mrs. W (who also has a daughter in Oscar's class) started tearing up.

"Yes, but we did not know he was the one who was missing because.."

"All the kids were wearing green because of St. Patrick's Day."

"Right, so we couldn't immediately tell who was gone. Mrs. B when back in to find him and he was with Mrs. T and Mrs. H (who is Oscar's teacher). When Oscar saw Mrs. B turn around to get the bag, he must have followed her and slipped into the bathroom. She never even knew he was back there, and he had not finished before she came out again. Then she put down the bag and we did the count and were missing one. She came right back in. He was only lost for a minute."

Here is where I finally realized that there was a period of time where no on in the world knew where my child was and what he was doing.

"So, he was alone."

"Yes, only for a few minutes. When Mrs. B told me what she told you, I just felt sick about it; I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I have little ones too and I know you trust us with them..."

She felt so bad, and I felt so bad.

"It's okay."

"No, it's really not."

"I know, but I understand. He can be so quiet, and he slips away so easily. He was probably confused because he'd just woken up and though he was following Mrs. B to the bathroom. It happens. He is okay."

We made these noises for a few more minutes and I left. I'm not sure why I was not livid with her for losing my kid. Maybe because I know she's a mom too and I could tell how awful she felt, or maybe because he really was okay and it's not like they were being neglectful; it was an accident.

At pick up that day, I let the boys play in the playground for a while, and the director, Mrs. T, came out to talk to me as well.

"I heard a doorknob rattling and I came out to check and he was standing at the end of the hallway. At the same time Mrs H saw his bunny poking around the corner and said to [the fours teacher] 'I think that's one of my little guys.'"

"Thank you for finding him."

"No, I'm just sorry it happened. I want you to know we've changed how we do the count so this won't happen again. We're now counting them before they go out and again once they are outside."

"That's good, I'm glad to hear that. It's okay; he can slip away like that."

"Mrs. H said he's usually does not."

"I talked to him about it yesterday, and he seemed okay." [Before I really knew what happened, of course.]

"He was pretty nervous when I found him. He was chewing on his bunny's paw."

"Was he crying?"

"No, but he was upset."

We chatted for a few more moments and then that was that. All in all, I think everything is fine. These things happen and the school took steps to ensure that it would not happen again. I'm happy with that resolution. Oscar and I talked about it a little more, and I made sure he knew that he should tell someone if he is going to the bathroom, and should never go off by himself.

What seems weird to me is that Mrs. B kind of lied to me when she told me what happened that first day. Or, at the very least omitted certain key facts. And I guess I should be really angry about this, but honestly I just chalk it up to human nature. She was nervous and she felt responsible. She either did not want me to be angry or did not want to get into trouble, so she misconstrued the facts. I'm not happy about that, but I don't think she is a bad person or even a bad teacher. On the contrary; she's great with the kids and Oscar loves her. He trusts her; that's why he followed her back into the school.

I guess I should have address the lying issue with Mrs. T, but I just really felt like they knew what had happened and they would take care of it appropriately, even though a small part of me wants to know how they resolved things with Mrs. B. They probably would not have told me that even if I had asked.

That's the whole story right there.

How I spend 100% of my time: June

2011-06-21T10:20:00.003-04:00

In the tradition of Suburban Matron:

Four

2011-06-15T07:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, my super special guy turned four. Four! Four seems big. Four seems closer to "little boy" than to "baby" or even "toddler." He's a kid now.

We had a pretty marvelous day, punctuated by his favorite things (cinnamon toast, brownies, Scooby Doo, his new Leapster 2). It was busy and fun, just like Oscar.

I remain eternally grateful for this kid. He's smart, witty, funny. And that's at four! I could get all mushy now, recalling Oscar's birth, how I caught him, delivered him into my own hands, how that moment forever changed everything, how in that moment I knew that being his mom was the most important thing I would ever do. I can still remember the way he felt, warm and slimy and like home.

Happy fourth birthday, Oscar Dominic. I'm so honored to be your mom. I love you, buddy.

Conversations with a preschooler: Free range food

2011-06-09T13:58:00.000-04:00

Jenni: So, Oscar, what do you want for your birthday dinner next week?

Oscar: Uhhh....

Jenni: It's your birthday so we can have your favorite dinner.

Oscar: Chocolate spiders!

Jenni: Chocolate spiders are not for dinner. We can have those for dessert. What do you want for dinner?

Oscar: Uhhh...hot dogs?

Jenni: Okay, hot dogs. What about some asparagus?

Oscar: Oh, yeah, I love asparagus.

Jenni: Anything else?

Oscar: Uhhhh...could we go to a farm?

Jenni: For your birthday?

Oscar: A farm that has chickens on it? Dead chickens. And we could get a dead chicken and take it home and cook it for dinner.

Jenni: You want to go to a chicken farm and get a chicken to make for your birthday dinner?

Oscar: Yes! A dead chicken.

Jenni: Okay, well I'll see if I can find a free range chicken farm around here so we can get a fresh chicken, but if not can I just buy a chicken at the store and cook that for your birthday dinner?

Oscar: A dead chicken?

Jenni: Yes, Oscar! A dead chicken! Who cooks a live chicken?!

Oscar: I don't know, but that would not be a good idea.

Jenni: No, it would not.

Kids are funny

2011-06-09T11:06:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen the Disney/Pixar movie Cars? This question is probably moot, but I ask because I know some of you (my IRL friends) who read regularly do not have kids and even though this movie is several years old, I did not see Cars until Oscar was almost two-years-old. I had this whole thing before having kids where I didn't watch kids movies because I knew when I had kids I would be watching the hell out of kids movies and I wanted to keep them fresh.

(This was a good decision, by the way.)

Anyways, if you have small kids you've likely seen Cars and if you have small boys you have almost definitely seen this movie, probably a few hundred times.

My kids love this movie. Both of them. We have cars shirts and hats and toys and stickers and temporary tattoos. And it's a nice movie with no real violence and a good, heartwarming message. I guess it was intended to target the NASCAR parents, and while I'm not one of those, I still really like this movie and it's not about NASCAR or anything. And I actually kind of dig the soundtrack, which is kind of surprising to me because it's country music and I don't really dig country music.

Okay, so anyways, this post is only partially about the movie. It's mostly about Miles' reaction to a certain part of the movie. If you have never seen the movie, you are going to be totally lost here.

There is this scene where Mater is "watching" McQueen in the evening and they go out "tractor tipping." The tractors are basically cows - they moo, and walk slow, and graze pastures, and stampede. So, when a car want so to "tip" a sleeping tractor, the car honks it's horn to startle the tractor, as demonstrated to McQueen by Mater. Well, since McQueen is a race car, he does not have a horn but Mater teases McQueen until he figures out a way to tip the tractors. What McQueen does, is rev his engine rally loud and it causes the whole entire pasture of tractors to moo and tip.

So, this is a pretty loud scene with the horn honking and the engine revving, and the funny thing is, every time we watch this movie, when this scene comes on, Miles scrambles in my lap and ever time Mater honks and McQueen revs his engine, Miles starts. The little guy jumps out of his shoes! And he loves it! He giggles every time. It's just so funny to me, how he know it's coming every time, and every time it still startles him, and how much he loves the thrill of feeling startled.

Here it is the groove slightly transformed.

2011-06-06T11:22:00.001-04:00

Man, I would know summertime anywhere by the seemingly endless loads of beach towels and bathing suits. I'm doing at least four extra loads a week and I'm not even complaining. Oscar's got school for another week, and PS isn't out until next Friday, so we're not in full effect yet, but we're working it.

Other summertime indicators: water in the sand and water table; grilling out every night; Popsicles by the box; the hum of our window units. Oh, and you do not want to challenge me to a watermelon eating contest. Also, the steamy, muggy days and ridiculous mosquitoes that come with summertime in a swamp. It's cool, though, we've got a sprinkler and bug spray. You cannot get us down, DC summer!

We had a couple of hot, hot, hot ones last week, where the temps were in the upper 90s. That's really hot for these parts this early in the year. I don't know that my tomatoes will recover. I watered them and watered them, but I think the water evaporated before it even reached the soil. I've been watering them like crazy since then and they were looking better, until I just watered them today and they now look worse than ever (too much water?). Especially sad as we had a ton of green cherry tomatoes, lots of plum tomatoes, and tons and tons of blossoms on the beefsteak. If they die we still have time to put more in, though, so I'm trying to remain optimistic, even though there are going to be two more scorchers this week.

So, I'm fairly certain I'm going to have to start toilet training Miles William this summer. I'm not looking forward to that, although I am looking forward to not having to change and wash diapers anymore. Eye on the prize, eye on the prize.

Lets, see, lets see. Lots of summer plans in the works. We've got birthday parties out the wazoo, including Oscar's fourth. We're planning a trip to visit Becky and her family next month and that should be awesome; a potential vacation to Vermont in early August, and then our annual family Outer Banks beach vacation at the end of the summer. And of course lots and lots of trips to the pool. Oscar's also taking swim lessons and Tae Kwon Do, and has two weeks of summer camp in July, and probably a regular playgroup with his classmates, so it's going to be a busy one.

We are just doing the thing here, kicking it summer style. Whatcha got going on?

Little sommelier

2011-06-02T12:55:00.000-04:00

Scene: Oscarelli family living room, this afternoon, after preschool pick-up

Oscar: Oh, no!

Jenni: What's up?

Oscar: I forgot my thing?

Jenni: Your thing?

Oscar: My thing that smells like lemons. I forgot it at school.

Jenni: Thing that smells like lemons? Thing that smells like lemons.

A light bulb goes of over Jenni's head.

Jenni: The wine cork. You mean the wine cork. You took the wine cork to school.

Oscar: The thing that smells like lemons*.

Jenni: You left it at school.

Oscar: I guess.

Jenni: [sighs] You left a wine cork at your school.

Oscar: Yep

Jenni: Oh, Oscar.

Oscar wanders off. End scene.

*To be fair, that Chardonnay bled did have citrus notes.

I will yell at a child

2011-05-31T12:20:00.000-04:00

This weekend we attended a wedding reception for Nelson's aunt and her new husband. They've been together for many years and decided to get married last month while on vacation in Hawaii.

It was a lovely afternoon reception, and kids were invited so that was fantastic. There were tons of cousins and other kids for the boys to play with, and they had a great time. Mostly a great time.

At one point, my sister-in-law Suzi and I were standing underneath the dining tent chatting and casually watching our kids, who were playing about 50 yards away being (kind of) supervised by our husbands. They were back there with them. There was a large play structure and also a small bounce house - the kind that fits two or three small kids. Oscar was on play structure and Miles and my niece, Ella, were in the bounce house with another cousin. There were probably 8 or 10 kids total playing, our husbands and two or three other parents back there.

So, Suzi and I were casually chatting but also watching the bounce house from a distance (those thing are death traps), and I noticed a bigger kid getting into the bounce house. My mommy-sense went off. I said to Suzi, "Hey, who is this big kid getting in the bounce house?"

"In the white shirt? I'm not sure."

Then, the biggish kid shoved my niece. He was at least a head taller. She stumbled, but was fine, completely unfazed. It's a bounce house, after all.

After the shove, though, I was on high alert because Miles was in there, and he was the smallest kid inside the house and the biggish kid was clearly a bully.

Sure enough, he I saw him turn his attention to Miles and my heart started racing. Miles was on all fours and the kid cocked his leg and kick him square in the face.

HE KICKED MILES IN THE FACE.

INTENTIONALLY.

There is no mistaking what happened for an accident. He pulled back his leg and unleashed it underneath Mile's jaw. Miles William's head snapped back and I took off at a run, calling to Suzi, "That kid just kicked Miles in the face!"

"What?!" and she took off as well.

The bully hightailed it out of the bounce house, SMIRKING while the parents by the bounce house were trying to figure out what happened. I passed the bully on my way to Miles and I stopped.

"HEY!" I shouted and pointed at him. (I should be clear, I was not screaming, it was more very loud, stern shouting.) He started and dropped the smirk.

"HEY! I SAW YOU KICK MY KID IN THE FACE! I WATCHED YOU DO IT!"

"..."

"YOU KICKED MY TWO-YEAR-OLD IN THE FACE! YOU CANNOT DO THAT! YOU CANNOT KICK PEOPLE IN THE FACE!"

He mumbled something, that Suzi (who was right behind me) reported to be, "What? I didn't anything."

I ran back to Miles and everyone was still baffled, but having heard me yell at the bully, they figured out why Miles was sobbing on the bounce house floor. My brother-in-law went in and got him (I was in a dress) and passed him over to me. He jaw was red. He clung to me, sobbing.

Another of the parents asked what had happened and I told her the bigger kid had intentionally kicked Miles in the face. I pointed the kid out and she went running after him and brought him to his mom.

As I was consoling Miles, who I am sure was as scared and shocked as he was hurt, the mom came over and apologized profusely, asking exactly what happened, and if there had been any provocation.

"No," I told her, "He went in the bounce house, shoved my nice, and kicked Miles in the face. He was in there less than a minute."

She was apologetic, but not surprised. He has ADHD and behavioral issues. I know the mom, I like the mom, and I know it is embarrassing and upsetting when your kids misbehave, particularly when they hurt another child. She took him home immediately.

And that was that. I think I was visibly shaking for an hour, I was so angry that Miles had been bullied by a kid that was nearly twice his size. That this kid went into the bounce house intending to hurt someone, and that Miles was the victim. Because I have no doubt that if he'd actually hurt my nice, he would have stopped his assaults. He was trying to provoke a reaction. My easy-going niece was not a good target (though I suspect he chose her because she was the next smallest, and a girl); Miles, a toddler on all fours, was an excellent target.

Miles recovered much more quickly. He was back in the bounce house in less than 10 minutes.

I definitely felt guilty after the fact for yelling at someonelse's kid, but I wanted to get a good look at him, and I wanted to make sure he knew he was not getting away with kicking my kid in the face.

KICKING MY KID IN THE FACE. ON PURPOSE.

I get all upset again just thinking about it, my sweet Miles, maliciously kicked in the face. I think if it had just been a slap I would not have been so upset. I deal with conflict between children all day long and I rarely raise my voice. But just knowing that this kid's intention was to hurt, to injure, sent me over the top.

So, anyways, I will yell at a child. Oh, yes, I will.

Proof that I'm raising a nerd

2011-05-25T15:29:00.001-04:00

1. Complete obsession with and freakish knowledge of all things Star Wars.

2. Understands the pneumonic Roy G. Biv and ability to draw a rainbow correctly because of said pneumonic before age four.

3. Uses the word "similar" correctly and in conversations regularly.

4. More iPhone literate than most adults.

5. Is obsessed with video games (they very few he's been allowed to play) and computers.

6. Talks to himself. A lot.

7. Has an unnatural love for elastic waist pants.

9. Invents new lyrics to songs and sings his activities, i.e. "I'm eating, eating a snack, snack, snack" to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

10. Lothes bathing.

I figure if I can keep him going at this rate, he won't score a date until college, and that's just fine by me.

The one where I lost Miles William

2011-05-23T08:11:00.000-04:00

Spoiler Alert: He is found.

Yesterday was a fundraiser for Oscar's nursery school, a silent auction and dinner. It was held in the Fellowship Hall of the church that houses the school.

There were about 150 people there, and tons of sugar, so in no time flat my kids went from cute, collared shirt wearing, little gentlemen to absolute lunatics. Even with both Nelson and I running herd, we were struggling to keep track of them in the crowded room.

About half way into the even, when the crowd was at critical mass, Oscar started playing with the doors that lead from the Fellowship Hall to the kitchen. He was on the kitchen hallway side, and I was on the Fellowship Hall side, with Miles. Nelson excused himself to get cookies to distract the children.

I popped my head through the doorway to tell Oscar to knock it off with the doors and GET IN HERE and less than ten seconds later, when I popped my head back into the fellowship hall, I immediately noticed that Miles William was gone. Without a trace.

My heart started racing immediately. Nelson returned just in that moment and I asked him, "Do you have Miles, did he follow you?"

"What? No, I left him with you. You don't have him?"

"Oh my god. No. He gone. He's gone! Where could he be? We have to find him!"

Nelson grabbed Oscar and we began scouring the fellowship hall. It was packed with people, and there were 20 long tables set up with chairs, so it was crowded and there were lots of littlish people running around.

I check the hallway behind the hall and did not see him I looked in the classrooms, not there. He'd been gone maybe two, three minutes.

The mom of one of Oscar's friends saw me looking frantic and asked what was wrong and I told her, nearly sobbing, "I've lost Miles. I've lost him," and she immediately abandoned her dinner and began helping me search.

"Have you check outside?"

And this is when I began to truly panic. There was a door. Not far from Miles went missing. It was wide open. Wide open to a busy street. Miles is absolutely the type of kid who will make for a door and run into the road. It is what he does.

I ran up the short flight of stairs and out the door. I ran to the road and began looking up and down. No sign. It had been maybe five minutes at that point, and the stretch of road is about 1/2 mile long. He could not have traveled that far in five minutes. Unless someone picked him up.

I ran back and check the playground. Lots of kids out there, but not my Miles. I alerted a couple of parents there that knew Miles that I could not find him and they told me they had not seen him but would keep an eye out.

Nelson and Oscar's moms' friend were still looking in the hall and I was sweating and panicking. I went to the woman running the even and asked her to make an announcement that Miles was missing, and she did. I told the school director Miles was missing and she asked if I checked outside. I told her I had and she assured me, "Then he's in here. He is somewhere inside, we just have to find him." She was so confident, and that helped.

Jenny (the mom helping me) suggested we go back and check the classrooms again. Let me just say, thank god for her because I was not thinking clearly. I was flipping out. I had decided if we could not find him on this last sweep, I was calling the police.

As we were walking the hallway, about halfway through the church, Jenny asked, "Have you gone upstairs and check the gym?" I had not, because I could not imagine he'd be there - he never been to the gym, it was halfway around the church - FAR from the hall, and up one full flight of stairs.

Jenny check the gym while I checked the classroom. Nelson and other parents were still checking the hall.

I finished checking the classrooms and came rushing back down the hall to find Jenny, holding Miles.

"He was up there, playing, just as happy as can be." She was crying; I was crying. Miles was happily babbling about balloons and a kid named Charlie. Jenny passed him off to me and went to find Nelson, who was searching outside again.

He was lost of about ten minutes total.

In piecing together what happened, a group of kids must have walked by while my head was in the hallway, and Miles just followed them out. Even though I realize he was gone immediately, I couldn't see him because he was caught up in the crowd of like-sized kids.

We did not take our eyes off him for the rest of the night. I still tear up when I think about it.

About an hour later, Oscar went missing. We were not as worried, as Oscar is not a kid to wander off and into the street, but it was still a little frantic. He'd wandered onto the stage where they were holding the silent auction and did not come when we called. Then he got really upset because no one found him, and he could not find us because we were looking for him.

I've never lost my kids before, but then I lost them both in one night. I may never leave the house with them again.

Still at it

2011-05-19T07:45:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've updated you all on my running. For a while I was posting about once or twice a week and that felt like too much. I mean, this is not a fitness blog; it's a blog where I complain about my kids. Okay, my kids and husband.

Anyways, I'm still running about 3-4 times a week and I'm up to about a 25 minute stretch of flat out running, and I can do about two miles. So, I'm not terribly fast, but I'm running and feeling good about it.

I pulled a muscle in my lower back and took a week off. I was really glad that when I got back to running, I didn't miss a beat. Right back at 25 minutes, though my pace was a little slower. However, last night I did something and now my IT band is killing me. I'm going to find some stretches to help with that.

My friend Nancy hit the nail on the head though when she told me I probably need to start doing some strength training, so I think I'm going to sign up for a pilates class twice a week. This is a little annoying because I don't like exercising (I don't even like running), and now I'll be doing cardio 3 times a week and strength training twice a week. That's a lot of exercise for someone who's preferred activity is sitting on the couch reading a book or watching The Wire.

So, the running is going. I don't know, though, it's getting tougher as the weather is getting hotter and more humid. I will be running and sweating and just kind of feel like stopping. Like, last night when my IT band starting hurting, it was hard for me to determine if I wanted to stop because of the pain or if I wanted to stop because I just did not feel like running anymore because I'm tired of exerting myself.

Having a running partner helps keep me going, so I run with someone whenever I can. Lucky for me, I have three friends who live in close proximity that are good and dedicated runners, and will even slow up their pace to keep with me, and offer me words of encouragement and support to keep me moving. I also have a few spots where I have what I call good running karma - places I enjoy running and where I tend to have my best runs, so if I'm having a hard time even getting on my running shoes, I'll go a good karma spot.

I also try to remind myself how good I feel when I finish a run. I don't feel tired and worn out. I feel energized and accomplished. I also sleep much better and wake much easier and am less grumpy during the day. I enjoy the time without a child hanging off my butt. There are lots of rewards to running.

What's shaking (literally) with you folks? Running? Shredding? Tell me about your efforts. I'm not the only sweaty blogger out here, am I?

Family photo shoot

2011-05-17T08:12:00.001-04:00

About a week ago, we had a photo shoot with Nelson's family. Together with Nelson's brother's family, we decided to buy a location session with a professional photographer for Nelson's parent's anniversary this year.

My sister-in-law and I scouted around and found Jenni and her stuido, Forever-Yesterday Photography, and booked our session for the Brookside Gardens. We were rewarded with a gorgeous spring day, and beautiful shots of our entire family. Here's a sample:

Mother's Day

2011-05-10T08:07:00.000-04:00

A belated happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there. I had a wonderfully amazing day, starting with a day of shopping with my sister and mother on Saturday; tulips and chocolates delivered to me at home; a Kindle gift card from my mother-in-law; breakfast on Sunday at our favorite diner, with NO WAIT (one of the perks of having small people wake you at the crack of dawn); a pedicure; a Day Out with Thomas; and finally concluded by dinner made by my love, Nelson.

I was much celebrated, and I hope you were as well.

The damned raccoon - it's not just us

2011-05-09T07:24:00.001-04:00

When I last left you all, I was trying to figure out what the heck to do about the raccoon that destroyed a portion of our back porch room. We have a contract with a pest management company and I figured that raccoon was nothing if not a pest so I gave them a call. Our contract covers regular household pests - ants, bees, silverfish, mice, rats - both inside and out, so I didn't think it could hurt to ask them about the raccoon.

No dice. Raccoons are much bigger than what they can handle. They did recommend a professional wildlife trapper, so I called him and he came out that very day. He checked out our roof and agreed that it was most likely a raccoon. He told me that they tend to go places that have some kind of animal scent, so it was likely that raccoons or something had lived in our roof in the past.

He also told me that the was unlikely to come and try the roof again. According to him, because the raccoon had tried to get in (pretty vigorously) and failed, he'd just move on and look for new real estate. He told me if we wanted to hire him, it would cost us $375 for three weeks of trapping/monitoring. They'd set traps and come check them every few days, or immediately if I reported that one was full.

Nelson and I had already called our roofing contractor to come out and look at the damage, and we did want the raccoon trapped before we had the roof repaired, but this guy did not seem to think the raccoon would be back. He recommended the we wait a week or two and see if it returned so that's what we decided to do.

Less than a week later, when I pulled up the shades in my and Nelson's bedroom after making the bed, guess what I saw? Our front porch roof had been torn up! The damage was much less significant, but pretty clearly caused by the same or a similar critter as the back roof. Bastard!

That very afternoon, my neighbor, Kim, came by and said to me, "Hey, I saw a raccoon on your roof the other night!" I told her about the damage and she reported that she had similar damage, but much more extensive. And, that she'd seen him on two of our neighbor's roofs as well. He was terrorizing our whole neighborhood. [At this point you may be thinking that there could be several raccoons. And yes, there could be, but don't let me think about that, okay?]

At this point, I decided to called Animal Control and see what they could about this nuisance raccoon. Now, generally unless an animal is showing signs of illness or is a dead carcass, Animal Control will not bother wildlife, but I was hoping because this guy was causing so much damage that they would do something.

Unsurprisingly, they would not do much. They did tell me that I have a right to remove the nuisance animal, or have it removed. The clerk advised me that I could call the state Department of Natural Resources, plead my case, and apply for an animal trapping permit, and that Animal Control would rent me a live trap so I could catch him, and if they did catch him they'd come out and get him and dispose of him.

So, that's what I did. I called DNR and was a registered animal trapper and in possession of a rented trap by the end of that day. My neighbor also borrowed a trap from someone, so we had two yards now trying to catch this sucker.

And no dice. No raccoon. After a week of a bated trap, we did not catch him. Neither did my neighbor. We returned the trap and continued to complain about the raccoon and went back and forth on the hiring the animal trapper, who's fees were as much as the fee for our roof repair, and who could not guarantee that he'd even catch the raccoon. I was torn. I'm pretty cheap, so I neither wanted to pay for a roof repair that was simply going to be re-damaged next spring, nor did I want to pay for a trapper to come out and trap nothing.

We spent a few weeks contemplating what to do, and I saw him several more times, wandering in and out of my neighbors across the street's yards, trotting down the sidewalk, peering at me from behind fences. He looked big, but he never came down my side of the road during the day, likely because of our dog who spends a lot of time outdoors when the weather is nice.

I was still stalling about what to do about the stupid thing, when, last week (after I wrote my post even!), my neighbor Arlette called me. Now, it's not so strange that Arlette would call me. She and her husband are retired and travel a lot; they let us know when they will be gone so we can look out; we receive packages for them when they are away; their grandkids come over to play with the boys when they visit. They are good neighbors. They snow blow our walk when Nelson is out of town, and Nelson helps them dig their cars out, stuff like that.

What was strange is that she called me at 8:30PM, which she knows is prime bedtime in these parts. I took the call and Arlette was agitated. She had finally seen this raccoon that Kim and I had been telling her about for the past 3 weeks. In her yard. IN HER YARD. It was just a few moments before she called me. She had seen him lift up the lid of her trash can, one of those huge bins things that hook into the back of garbage trucks, climb inside, had himself a meal, and leave.

Those bins are at least four feet high. Oscar cannot even get the lid up by himself - he's not tall enough. So, that means, on his hind legs that raccoon must have stood at least as tall as Oscar. Oscar, who is in the 90th percentile for his height and probably stands over 40 inches. That means this raccoon is the size of a preschooler. It is BIGGER than Miles William. It could probably carry a small child on it's back.

This raccoon is huge. Arlette was alarmed.

The next day she called a wildlife trapper (a much less expensive one) and was unimpressed with the non guarantee. She also informed me that she was going to take on this raccoon as one of her "projects." As I mentioned, she and her husband are retired, and they've also lived in our little township for 36 years. Arlette knows how to get things done and she thinks she can convince our city to take care of the raccoon.

In the meantime, I think we'll be taking another go trapping ourselves, trying some marshmallows this time. I'll let you know how it pans out.

You cannot chase this sucker with a broom

2011-05-03T07:14:00.001-04:00

About a month or so ago, I was in the boys' room getting them dressed and I happened to look out one of their windows. They have three windows that all face north on the back of the house. Their room is situated on top of our kitchen/back porch, so the open directly onto a roof.

Anyways, I glanced out the window and this is what I saw:

DESTRUCTION!

Now, it was March and we'd had a good windy storm with some hail a few nights earlier, but hail cannot rip through shingles and felt all the way through to the decking. And this roof is new; we just had it completely re-done about a year and half ago, so it's certainly not wear-and-tear.

Well, actually, it is tear. Something tore into our roof. Something with hands. Look more closely:

You can actually see where some THING ripped the shingles off the roof. Something that wants to live in there. It couldn't have been a bird because the damage is too much. Unless it was an eagle, but eagles don't really like densely populated suburbs like ours. What could it be? What could it be? The more I thought about it, I recalled that two nights prior, the dog had been going ape shit and begging to go outside. We did not let her as we assumed that there was some suburban wildlife out there and we didn't want her to tangle with anything.

Nelson and I discussed the identity of our vandal and we figured it could be one of three things.

1) A possum
2) A smallish, agile hobo
2) A raccoon

We see possums. My dog kills them on occasion, (this is a funny post, you should read it) and they do have hands. But, we really did not think a possum was big enough to cause this kind of damage. We've never seen one larger than an average house cat. Also, don't they like to hang upside down in trees?

We don't actually see hobos, but we do live just a few blocks from the CSX train tracks, and is one of the busiest lines on the east coast. I think. There are a lot of trains. We have those train watcher guys with cameras there every day. And there is a train enthusiast club here in my little town and they set up this huge model train at the farmer's market. It's like The Station Agent over here. Have you seen that movie? I loved that movie.

Anyways, hobos. We've never actually seen one, but with the train tracks are close. It would have to be a nimble one and a smallish one to shimmy up our gutter. But aren't hobos usually drunk? And what would he do with his hobo sack while shimmying? I don't know, this seems pretty unlikely and also, creepy. We stopped talking about it.

That leaves us with the likely culprit: a raccoon. A big, ugly nasty, hunchbacked, skulking raccoon. God, I hate those things. Particularly the ones that live out here in densely populated areas. They get huge from eating garbage and have no fear of humans. NO FEAR! They hiss and have claws and are just so disgusting and mangy looking. Oh, and they have fangs. Check it:

So, we've got this guys, trying to live in our roof. Causing hundreds of dollars in damage. Clearly, something has to be done about this. I was tasked with figured out what that something would be.

To be continued...

Shorn

2011-04-29T15:10:00.000-04:00

Do you salad?

2011-04-25T12:46:00.000-04:00

Do you? I do, often. I have salads for lunch three or four times a week, and as a side with dinner nearly as often. It's not a dieting thing. I love them.

My dinner side salads are your garden variety green salads - lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes (in season), and that's about it. My lunch salads are another story. My lunch salads are meals.

I love salads. You should love salads. They are quick and easy and a great way to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, yummy cheeses, an healthy oils.

I'm going to introduce you to one of my favorite lunch salads, the Beet and Citrus Blue Salad. It's amazing.

You'll need:

1 head romaine heart
3-4 small beets cooked (you can roast your own once they are in seasons, but you can buy cooked beets in the store year round and they are nearly as tasty as fresh.)
1 piece citrus fruit (orange, tangerine, minneola, tangelo, clementine, red grapefruit)
1/4 cup blue cheese
Balsamic vinegar to taste
Olive oil, to taste

Slice your romain heart, beets, and citrus fruit (I used a minneola). Put the lettuce on the plate; follow with beets, citrus, and blue cheese. Top with blue cheese and sprinkle with balsamic vinegar and olive oil to taste. Voila! Lunch in five minutes. Go ahead and make this salad. You're welcome.

Conversations with a preschooler: Breakfast

2011-04-18T09:10:00.000-04:00

Jenni: Okay, guys, what do you want for breakfast?

Oscar: ...

Miles: ...

Jenni: Alright, do you want cereal or eggs?

Oscar: I want cereal!

Miles: I wan cereal milk!

Jenni: What kind of cereal? Miles, do you want Cheerios or Rice Crispies?

Miles: I wan Cheeros milk!

Oscar: I want Rice Crispies without milk!

Jenni: Miles wants Cheerios with milk and Oscar wants Rice Crispies without milk. How about blackberries?

Miles: I wan black buoys!

Oscar: I don't want blackberries! I don't like them!

Jenni: So, we have one order for Cheerios with milk and blackberries and one order for Rice Crispies without milk, right?

Miles: Yeah!

Oscar: Yes. NO! NO! I want Rice Crispies WITH milk! I want them with milk, Mom!

Jenni: You want Rice Crispies with milk? Milk in the bowl with the Rice Crispies?

Oscar: Yes!

Jenni: You're sure?

Oscar: Yes, Rice Crispies with milk in a bowl.

Jenni: Okay, got it.

Jenni goes into to kitchen; Miles follows, Oscar remains in living room. Jenni prepares two bowls of cereal. One is Cheerios with milk and blackberries and one is Rice Crispies with milk. She goes into dining room with spoons and cereal.

Jenni: Okay, guys, breakfast?

Jenni seats Miles in booster and Oscar wanders into dining room.

Oscar: WAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! I DON'T WANT THAT! I DON'T WANT RICE CRIPSIES WITH MILK?

Jenni: What? What are you talking about? We had a five minute discussion about what you wanted and you very clearly said Rice Crispies WITH milk!

Oscar [red faced, tears streaming, sobbing]: NO! NOOOOOOOOO! I WANT MINI WHEATS WITHOUT MILK!

Jenni: Are you kidding me? You never even mentioned mini wheats!

Oscar: YES I DID! I HATE RICE CRISPIES! I DON'T WANT THEM! [slides bowl of Rice Crispies across table]

Jenni: Fine, Oscar. I will get you some mini wheats.

Oscar: WITHOUT MILK!

Jenni: Yeah, I get it. Mini wheats without milk.

Jenni goes into kitchen, prepares bowl of mini wheats without milk, and returns it to Oscar at the dining table.

Oscar: Thanks.

Jenni: You're welcome.

Jenni returns to kitchen, puts away cereal boxes, recycles empty box of Cheerios, rinses empty milk carton for recycling, wipes counters. Returns to dining room to check on the progress of breakfast.

Oscar is eating his Rice Crispies with milk. The bowl is almost empty. The mini wheats are untouched.

Jenni: So, how are those Rice Crispies with milk? The ones you hate?

Oscar: Good. I don't hate them. They are my favorite.

Jenni: And the mini wheats?

Oscar: I'm going to eat those later.

Jenni: Of course you are.

Oscar: Can I have more Rice Crispies with milk, please?

Jenni: You got it.

Conversations with a preschooler: A preview to the teen years

2011-04-13T09:07:00.000-04:00

Jenni: Oscar, are you going to finish picking up those toys? Oscar?

Oscar: I don't hear you, mom.

Jenni: You don't hear me?

Oscar: No, I don't hear anything you say.

*****************************

Oscar: I want to bring Blanket to school today.

Jenni: No. You are only allowed to bring Bunny. No Blanket.

Oscar: No! But I love Blanket! I'm going to bring him!

Jenni: Fine. Then you have to leave Bunny at home.

Oscar: No! I love BOTH of them! I want to bring both.

Jenni: No, those are not the rules. You can only bring one to school. If you bring Blanket, you leave Bunny. That's it. No more discussion.

Oscar: Well, I'm just going to pout about it.

Momentum

2011-04-12T07:45:00.000-04:00

After hurting my neck in last week's 5K, and then overdoing it by running again the following day, and pulling a muscle while weeding the garden the day after that, I took six day off from running. I went to the chiropractor, iced my injuries, did gentle stretches.

I was feeling better, so I went for a run on Saturday. I was going to do about two miles, and walk about half a mile. It was an easy run, and I intentionally ran at a slow pace and made no effort to push myself. I promised myself if my neck or back hurt, I'd just stop. About a mile in, I felt a twinge in my neck, but it passed so quickly I thought I imagined it. I felt it again a few moments later and slowed my pace, but kept running.

I finished my run, and felt good, but that evening my neck and shoulder were very sore. I did not run on Sunday, but I had a chiropractor appointment yesterday that felt good, so I decided to run again last night.

By the evening, my neck and shoulder were sore. Nelson came home and suggested that maybe I just walk. I decided to run, and about a mile in, I felt a twinge. And a quarter of a mile later, I felt significantly more than a twinge, and walked the remaining half mile. I did about two miles, walking about 3/4 of a mile at the end.

This is stupid. Really, really stupid. I have an injury and I should lay off for a while. A week, even two, until my neck is healed. But this is hard for me for a few reasons. Here are those reasons, in list form.

1) I don't want to lose momentum. My training has been going really well. I've been getting faster, running for longer, enjoying it more. I don't want to go backwards. Already my last two runs have been much slower and not as far as I had been running before my injury. And even though I know that this decrease is BECAUSE of my injury, it still grates on me. My own competitiveness with myself is harassing me to KEEP GOING, PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN even though my rational self knows this is wrong.

2) I'm going to fall behind in my training. I have been training to run a full 5K at the end of this month. I'm not going to be able to do that now. There's no way I can make up the training. I'm already slow and I already needed a few extra weeks to build up my speed. Now, I'm spending those weeks healing (or re-injuring myself.) I'm disappointed. I don't like how that feels.

3) I'm afraid if I take a break for a few weeks, I'll never run again. Really. I'm not any kind of fitness guru or athlete or even remotely athletic. I could easily give up on this, I know I could. Running is hard work and now that it is getting warm it's even harder. And I'm reaching a point where just running is not going to cut it - I'm going to have to take it to the next level and move on from endurance try to get faster, so it is only going to get harder. Quitting is easy. Excuses are easy. I can see myself going this route, even though I don't want to go this route.

4) I'm afraid my chronic pain will return. I don't know how much I've mentioned it here, but I have for many years been dealing with some serious neck pain as a result of a bulging disc where my neck and spine meet (C6, C7, for those of you who also suffer neck pain.) It causes shoulder stiffness and sharp nerve pain that radiates down my left arm and causes numbness and tingling in my last two left fingers. It had gotten so bad I was having trouble lifting the kids, bags of groceries, even closing the back of our van. My whole arm, shoulder to the palm of my hand, would ache like the nerves and tendons had been slammed in a concrete door. Since I've been running, the pain is gone. As in no more pain. After years and years of pain. Not running for six days and the pain started creeping back. My injury is nothing compared to what I have been dealing with for the past four years. I can't go back to that pain.

So, for all of these reasons, I continue to push myself even when rationally I know pushing myself while injured is the wrong thing to do. Even now, last night I told Nelson I would not run for the rest of the week, but this morning I'm already thinking, "My neck feels better today. I bet I can go for a run tomorrow night." I should not do that, I should not run tomorrow night. I will almost certainly hurt my neck and not be able to finish my run. I will set myself backwards yet again.

I am working against myself here, and I know it. I just don't know how to stop it.

This is all about undershirts

2011-04-11T16:34:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday, Nelson and I went out for drinks with Becky and her people. It was quite fun. Delicious cocktails were consumed, good conversation was had, catching up happened. Good stuff.

So, we are out for cocktails, and I notice that Nelson, who is sitting beside me, is wearing a shirt with small hole just beneath the collar. It was an undershirt; he was wearing a sweater with a mock turtleneck and a zipper over top of the undershirt, but the undershirt was visible.

I cannot tell you how distracted I was by the hole in his shirt. Every time I looked at him, I couldn't help but stare at the hole. It really bothered me. Well, it bothered me until I finished my first drink. Nothing bothered me much after that.

Now, I didn't say anything, because I'm certain he had no idea it was there and he'd have felt terribly self conscious if I'd brought it up, but I made a mental note to check his undershirts for hole the next time I did the laundry.

So, we went out with some friends on Saturday night to celebrate my birthday. Nelson was wearing jeans and a button-down shirt, layered over an undershirt. AND THE UNDERSHIRT HAD A HOLE IN IT. Different undershirt, different hole.

Okay, so then this morning as I was saying goodbye to Nelson, I could not help but notice that he was wearing a green T-shirt underneath is gray polo shirt. What the heck? He told me he was out of undershirts, and I glanced over at the overflowing basket of clean laundry and told him to just grab one, but he deflected me and wore the really ill-matching ensemble to work anyways.

Clearly there is something going on with this man and his undershirts, right?

As I was folding the laundry this morning, I found that four of his white undershirts, that's nearly HALF of his entire white undershirt collection (he has like 10), had holes or worn collars. HALF. I pulled them all aside so I could throw them away and buy new ones, but then I thought, "Why has he not mentioned the terrible state of his undershirts? Maybe he likes his holy undershirts?"

Anyways, I decided not to throw them away. He is weird about clothes like that. We have a whole plastic bin in our attic full of holy T-shirts (not undershirts, graphic T-shirts) that he has not worn in 10 years, but wants to keep for sentimental reasons. Maybe he has some kind of sentimental attachment to his undershirts? I do bleach them, so they look all nice and new, apart from the holes at least.

I will also have you know that Nelson has probably never purchased an undershirt in his life. He went straight from having his mother buy them to having me buy them, so possibly I am falling down on the job here? Should I just rotate out the holy ones and rotate in new ones? I realize that I'm making too much of this, I do, but you know how sometimes the weirdest questions will HAUNT you?

I'll ask him if I can toss them tonight, but I'm just so curious about these holy shirts.

Could it be that he just does not notice the holes?

Does he prefer them because they are so soft an worn?

Has he been waiting for me to buy him some new undershirts?

Why are men such a mystery?

Celebrated

2011-04-05T07:00:00.002-04:00

Happy birthday to me! Flowers, picked out for me especially by two very sweet little boys:

Oscar woke early and wished me a happy birthday. For my special day, he promised to clean up his toys, play nicely with his brother, and listen to me. I couldn't ask for more.

And, then there is my birthday card. Also picked out especially for me by my two little boys:

It makes noise.

As explained by Oscar, there are four buttons, and I can press any one of them. I had to pry it out of little hands to take the photos.

I love having boys.

The finish

2011-04-04T07:16:00.002-04:00

I finished my race on Saturday! It was going really well the first half. Since I've not trained to run a full three miles, I was running in 1/2 mile increments and then walking for 1/4 mile. And, I was doing great. Running my best time ever (still not fast, but fast for me at around 13:23 minutes/mile) and feeling strong, but tired.

During my second 1/2 mile running interval, I was feeling tired and wanted to stop, so instead of just starting my walking a .10 of a mile early, I decided to sprint that last .10 mile. Dumb. I don't know what exactly I did, but I must have hit a rock or a tree gum ball or something and I pulled a muscle in my neck.

It was painful. Really painful. I couldn't turn my head more than an inch to the left. But, I was at my 1/4 mile walking point so I decided to try to stretch it out while I was walking. It felt almost like something was pinched so I though I could pull it out. WRONG. Everything I did made my neck hurt worse. And the pain was starting to go from neck into my right shoulder and down my back.

When the 1/4 mile walking interval was up, I decided to try and run my next 1/2 mile. I only had 1.5 miles left in the race and I was hoping for a decent finish. Well, that was another mistake. Each step I took hurt my neck/shoulder/back more and more. I finished my 1/2 mile and walked the final mile.

I alternated ice heat on my injury for the remainder of the day, and then made another mistake of trying to run again on Sunday. I ended up cramping up in my calves after about running for about 1.5 miles and my shoulder was killing me last night. And this morning.

I did some more stretching today, I'll do more ice and heat, but more importantly I'm taking two days off from all running/walking activity. I might grab a yoga class tomorrow night, but I'm giving my body a rest from the cardio and hard muscle workouts of running.

In general, things with the running are going well. This is my sixth week in the Couch to 5K program, so my last week of intervals. My speed has been increasing, as has my endurance. I've been losing an average of 2lbs a week, which is great for me (I usually average about 1.2), but more importantly, my clothes are fitting better. I can feel that my pants are looser not only in my waist but also in my thighs.

That's the fitness news in these parts. We had a pretty full weekend, though, including some pet related drama (don't worry, they are all still a live, though not entirely well - more later), but the weather is supposed to be amazing this week, so after my self imposed rest I'm looking forward to lacing up my running shoes again

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention the best part of the race! Look who was waiting for me when I finished:

Best. Cheering section. Ever.

Conversations with a preschooler: Moms

2011-03-31T07:30:00.000-04:00

Oscar: Mom, you know what?

Jenni: What?

Oscar: I love you.

Jenni: Thanks, buddy, I love you too.

Oscar: I love you TOO much.

Jenni: Too much? I don't think you can love moms too much. Why do you think that?

Oscar: I love you too much because you're my best mom.

Jenni: I'm your best mom? Well, who's your worst mom?

Oscar: Ha ha! No one! You're my only mom!

Jenni: You bet I am.

Oscar: Danny has two moms.

Jenni: Yes, he does.

Oscar: Why he has two moms?

Jenni: Well, that's just the way his family looks. His moms love each other, the same way Mommy and Daddy love each other, so they wanted to have babies, just like we wanted to have you and Miles. Families look all different ways. You have one mom and one dad; Danny has two moms. Families can look all different ways, but as long as they love each other, that makes them a family.

Oscar: That's good.

Jenni: It is good.

Oscar: But, which one of Danny's moms goes to work and which one stays home?

Jenni: They both go to work, that's why I take care of Benji and sometimes Danny.

Oscar: But why none of them stay home?

Jenni: Well, they both have jobs they like, and both moms working is how they take care of their family. The way we take care of our family is that Mommy stays home with you and Miles and Benji and Daddy goes to work, like Danny and Benji's moms go to work. Taking care of you boys is my work.

Oscar: That's good.

Jenni: I think so, too.

RTT: Potties, babies, and bodies

2011-03-29T08:53:00.001-04:00

*I have an announcement to make:

Miles William has peed in the potty. Just once, and just a little bit, but he did it by request and intentionally and once he was done he was running around shouting, "I DID IT! I DID IT!" AND he did it again this morning. I was so proud. I'm pretty sure I now know how the parents of Olympic athletes feel as they watch their children compete.

All that said, he's not really ready for potty training. He just sits on it until he goes. He does not have the bladder control yet, but I'm glad he's interested and trying.

*I destroyed five minute intervals this weekend. On to eight minute intervals. Oh, and I'm participating in my first 5K this weekend. I won't be able to run the whole thing, but I'm am excited about my first race. Goal: not to come in last.

*Last night I dreamed that I had a baby girl and that I named her Mallory Anne. Or rather Nelson named her Mallory Anne and I was a little annoyed because 1) My sister's step-daughter has a daughter named Mallory so while that is a lovely name, we see her often enough that we could never use the same name, and 2) "Anne" is also a lovely name, but my mom is Ann with no "e" and why the heck would we give our baby the middle name "Anne" and NOT "Ann?" Also in the dream I was frantic because we seemed to own no ridiculously cute hair clips for her very short hair (it was a little baby pixie cut) and if I had a little girl there would BE ridiculously cute hair clips. Gobs of them.

* I read this great article about women and body image and weight shame. You should read it, and you should look at all the photos of the beautiful women who shared their real, actual weight. It's eye opening, and it is really empowering.

*My birthday is a week from today. A week! Apparently Oscar has a big idea for my gift. I'm thinking light saber wielding, superhero themed, monster truck.

*I am wearing my very skinniest jeans today. And they look awesome. I look awesome. I feel awesome.

On the cool that is three

2011-03-28T07:47:00.002-04:00

Having a three-year-old is not all bad, so on the heels of my last post, I though I'd talk about some of the cool things Oscar is doing these days.

1. He uses the toilet. Look, Ma, no diapers! He's even night trained. And he can almost wipe his own butt, even though this sometimes ends with him walking down the stairs with a three foot long sheet of toilet paper hanging out of his butt, while he yells, "MOM, LOOK! I HAVE A KANGAROO TAIL!"

2. He has an amazing imagination. He says things like, "If I had a monster truck, I'd name it Thunder Bounce." That is a GREAT name for a monster truck. His teacher said to me on Friday, "So, I hear you have big plans this weekend. Oscar tells me the whole family is taking a trip on an airplane to a park where there are real dinosaurs, and he's going to catch one of those dinosaurs and bring it to school for show-and-tell next week." And he's never even seen Jurassic Park! He makes up stories and involves Miles in really complicated imaginative play. It is fun to watch.

3. He plays with his brother. We've finally reached a stage where the boys actually play together, and since Oscar's play is so much more advanced, he makes a real effort to include Miles, even though Miles usually can't get with the program. Oscar easily adapts his games so that Miles can participate. They are becoming real friends. A mother's dream.

4. He can dress and undress himself. He sometimes still needs help getting shirts on/off his head, but he can do everything else, even though the socks continue to be a bit frustrating. In truth, it is about 1,000 times faster for me to just dress him, but I still let him do it by himself, because it makes him so proud. It makes me so proud.

5. He can tell me what he wants and/or needs. This is wonderful. I don't have to guess if he's hungry or hurt or angry or tired. He will just tell me. With words! No guessing games required. Oscar and I can actually communicate in a real and meaningful way. Three cheers for full sentences!

I do enjoy Oscar. I enjoy that he is smart and funny and becoming a real person. This is the fun part.

On the crazy that is three

2011-03-24T06:52:00.002-04:00

The other day I kind of alluded to the fact that Oscar has been a bit of a handful as of late. It's one of those things where I hesitate to complain too much because I know much of it is just typical 3-year-old behavior and I'm just not handling it very well.

Let me break down the issues.

1) Asking why? I don't mean this in the typical asking why scenario; we are far past that developmental milestone. This is more of a questioning everything I ask him to do. As in, "Oscar, get your shoes on; it's time for school." "Why?" or "Oscar, stop teasing your brother." "Why?" or "Oscar, I need you to pick up your puzzle." "Why?" It's driving me a little batty. Why it is time for school? Why should he stop teasing his brother? Why does he need to clean up? These are conversations we've had at least a thousand times. He KNOWS why.

I finally told him earlier this week that when I tell him to do something (like clean up toys, be polite, get dressed) he needs to just do these things and not ask why just for the sake of asking why. And then he asked me why and I responded, "BECAUSE I SAY SO, THAT IS WHY." This has been slightly effective. He still asks why and I prompt him, "What did I say about asking why when Mommy asks you to do something?" and he replies, "Not to. I'm supposed to just listen." Or when I tell him it's time for school and he asks why I'll give him the mom look until he flinches. And then I tell him to get his shoes on fifteen more fucking times and my head explodes and we're ten minutes late for school because brains take forever to get off my sofa and if you don't clean them up immediately they stain.

2) Misbehaving and laughing maniacally when reprimanded. An example would be when the boys are in bed at night and Oscar kicks Miles in the head to keep him awake (no lie) and laughs like this is the most hilarious thing that has ever happened. Then, when I go in to asses the situation and reprimand Oscar, he just cackles this weirdly loud, fake sounding laugh as I'm telling him it is not nice to kick and doubly not nice to kick someone who is sleeping in the head. And he just does this crazy maniacal laughter and it freaks me out and pisses me off. Like he's saying, "I"m a jerk and there's nothing you can do about it, HAHAHAHAHA!" It makes me feel like I'm working in a mental institution.

3) The drama, oh my god the DRAMA. I swear, you guys, it kills me. Like, he was putting his shoes on the other day and having some trouble because the tongue got jammed down in the toe? He was getting all red faced and saying, "Don't you ever do that, shoe! Get on my foot! GET ON MY FOOT!" It was actually a little hilarious. Seeing his frustration, I offered my assistance and he responded, "NO! NEVER! DON'T YOU NEVER, EVER HELP ME! I DON'T EVER WANT YOUR HELP!" and then he ran into the other room, positively furious with me. This actually pretty funny, but not when it happens like 10 times a day, you know? NEVER EVER? Really? Relax, dude, relax.

4) Nothing is good enough (this ties in with the drama.) He asks for water so I pour him some water, but OH NO, I WANT JUICE, JUICE! So I get him so juice, but MY GOD THIS IS APPLE JUICE AND I WANTED ORANGE JUICE! Or he can't go to bed because he needs drink of water and he can't sleep without socks, but then I DON'T LIKE THIS CUP! and THESE SOCKS ARE TOO TIGHT! Socks too tight? What does that even mean? Or two books is not enough, it has to be five! He HATES all the books we just read (that he picked), so we need to read more. Or he needs to sit on my lap RIGHT NOW and it doesn't matter that I'm trying to eat my dinner or make an appointment or pay bills. RIGHT NOW.

5) He's all over me all the time. If I am sitting, he has to be in my lap. If I am walking, he has to be in front of me, pausing every five seconds to make sure I'm still there (I am! We're just going to the kitchen for crying out loud.) If I'm cooking, he has to be behind me. If I'm bent over getting out a pan or something from the cabinet, he has to jump on my back. I cannot even tell you the number of times in a day I bump into this kid. He grabs the pocket of my jeans and hangs off them. He wraps himself around my legs. And, if he is on my lap (and if I'm sitting, you can bet that he is there) he's poking at my face or my neck or smelling my hair. Sitting next to me is not good enough; he has to be on top of me. And he wants me to carry him around! He's nearly four and weights upwards of 35 pounds! It's like he's trying to return to the womb or something. I just need a little room to breathe. A little!

So, that's what's been going on with Oscar. I got up at 5AM this morning just so I could have a few moments of sanity all to myself. I'm going for a pap smear this evening and I can't wait! That's right, I'm actually looking forward to an invasive vaginal exam because it will afford me about an hour and a half of quiet, drama free, alone time. This is what it has come to.

Sigh. That's the word on Oscar. I know, this too shall pass. I know! And I love him, I really do. But right now, in the moment? ARRRGGGHHH!

Small Things

2011-03-23T07:18:00.000-04:00

Oscar has been incredibly difficult and frustrated these last few weeks. I will probably get into that a little more later, but he's three so if you have or have had a 3-year-old that's probably enough said.

Anyways, I did this exercise a few weeks ago, so I'm trying to focus on the smaller things in my life that give me pleasure, particularly ones related to me and only me.

So, here's what is making me happy this week:

1) The shower I take right after running

2) My first cup of coffee in the morning

3) Memories of this past Saturday, where I ran errands and got a pedicure and was out and about and all by myself for nearly three hours

4) Getting my running shoe inserts fixed

5) The Outlander series

6) The anticipation of going out to dinner this evening (to support a fundraiser for a friend's son's school) and as a result not having to cook or clean up from dinner

7) My clothing is fitting better

8) My very sassy hair cut, which is over a month old but still getting mad compliments

9) Enjoying not being pregnant right now, even though everyone I know seems to be pregnant right now and I'm slightly jealous

10) Planning some new home furniture purchases, including these dining chairs for the dining room and two of these lamps for the bedroom.

So, what's making you happy this week?

RTT: The end, my friend

2011-03-22T09:45:00.000-04:00

This looks to be the last Random Tuesday for a while, so here I am to help it go out with a bang. Or a thump. Whatever.

*The running is going well. I totally killed my 3 minute running intervals last week and am doing five minute running intervals this week. It's definitely a challenge, but it feels good and I'm up to it. By the end of next week I should be up to running for 20 minutes flat (according to the training). I'm not quite it enjoying the running, but almost.

*I had a wretched stomach bug last week. It was pretty much the first time I've been that kind of sick since I was pregnant with Miles. It was one day of hell and two days of feel like crap. And then Miles started vomiting this weekend and Nelson came home sick last night. My house has smelled like a Lysol/vomit cocktail for nearly a week.

*Spring has finally spring in DC. Daffodils are everywhere, mild temperatures, lots of rain. I expect the ants should arrive in my kitchen any day now.

*I've started reading the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Am I the last person to read these? It is the May selection for my book club, and I'm enjoying it quite a bit. It's like just the right amount of historical fiction/suspense/smut for my tastes. Real historical facts with a compelling story line and a great romance, but no "pulsing members" or "heaving bosoms" if you know what I mean (okay there is a little of that.) And she has like six more in the series. I love that.

*It's lovely out, so I'm off with the boys to play in the mud. Or rather mildly admonish them as they become filthy while occasionally glancing up from my Kindle. Enjoy your Tuesday!

A special thanks to Keely for giving us all a place to hang out for the past two or so years. It's been real. Go tell her thanks and check out some of her other loyal followers.

I am an Amazon Associate and as such clicking on my link above funnels dollars to me, and my Outlander smut, I mean slush, fund.

If you are dead right now from all this cute, my apologies to your family

2011-03-16T09:37:00.002-04:00

This boys love him a hat.

RTT: Reading, Running, Falling

2011-03-15T08:31:00.003-04:00

I haven't played this in a while, so lets see if I still have what it takes...

*So, I'm just finishing up Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne and it is seriously one of the funniest books I have read in a very long time. You should read it. It is written as the diaries of a 14-year-old boy who is a little too smart for his own good and gets himself into unbelievable amounts of trouble, manipulates his parents, and alienates his friends, all for his One and Only True Love. They made it into a movie not too long ago, which I've not seen, starring this generation's John Cusak, Michael Cera. Seriously though, if this is really how the minds of teenage boys work, I'm retiring from this parenting gig 10 years from now.

*I read this book in regular book form, even though I've not purchased a regular book since getting my Kindle for Christmas. I got this book for free from Paperback Swap. It is a really great way to get rid of some of your old books and get some new ones for the price of a media mail package. I like this because I am a person that likes to have a lot of books in my queue, so I have maybe three or four I've gotten from Paperback Swap that I have not read yet (two that were not available for my Kindle), and then two on my Kindle, not to mention the two library books I just picked up Saturday. I am filthy with reading material. I'm actually feeling a little pressured because I only have three weeks with the library books, and we are reading Outlander for my book group next month and that thing is a monster.

*Nelson is in Arizona all week. I miss him, but things are much easier to manage on my own now that the boys are bigger.

*I was short with Oscar yesterday about dropping his water on the floor for the 70 bermillionth time yesterday. I immediately apologized but I still feel like a jerk. He spent that night at my in-laws house last night and I can't wait to have him home.

*I'm still running. This week I start the third week of my Couch to 5K training, and I'm feeling a little worried because I will have to run for three consecutive minutes and I don't know that I've ever run for that long in my life. Really. I keep telling myself that I've slowly built up to this and that I can do it, but maybe you could also tell me and I'd feel a little bolstered?

*My brother and I went out on Saturday night and I had three more beers than I intended. And I fell. In the bar. It wasn't a total drunken stumble. I was getting up from my chair, and my pant leg got hooked on the heel of the opposite shoe, so it through me off balance and I just knew that there was no getting myself untangled without falling. So I just fell. I was not injured and was helped up quickly and thankfully I'd had enough beers that I was not really embarrassed.

*Unfortunately, as we were walking to the car, my stupid shoe went out from under me and I twisted my ankle (I did not fall, though.) I had been looking for shoes with good support and lots of folks recommended Dansko clogs, so I bought a pair. Well, one person mentioned that while they have good arch support they have zero ankle support and boy was she right. Though I'm sure the beer did not help.

*My left foot/ankle is a little wonky as a result of the aforementioned twist. It is not swollen, but it hurts. I ran on Sunday (before the pain set in, and yes, after my many beers) and last night I walked with an ankle brace. I'm going to try to run tonight with the ankle brace, but if I'm having lots of pain, I'm going to stop and just walk. I would feel very annoyed if I had to disrupt my training due to clumsy injury, but I don't want to make it worse, that's for sure.

That's all for today. I am an Amazon Associate so I receive financial renumeration for any clicks through to books/products mentioned or purchases of books/products mentioned.

Go see Keely and give a shout to some other Random Tuesday Thinkers.

RTT: Reading, Running, Falling

2011-03-15T08:31:00.001-04:00

*Nelson is in Arizona all week. I miss him, but things are much easier to manage on my own now that the boys are bigger.

Capitan Obvious and the parrot

2011-03-11T14:18:00.001-05:00

Scene: Approximately 9AM at a popular running spot in our community. Jenni is on Week 2 of the Couch to 5K running program. Oscar cried and cried and insisted he be allowed to come with Momma on her "run," so Jenni dutifully loaded both boys in the jogging stroller (all 60 lbs of them) and off the went.

Oscar: Hey, Mom, what's that?

Jenni: Its a gazebo. People sit in it to have picnics or watch the ducks and geese.

Oscar: Can we go sit in it?

Jenni: No, Momma's exercising so we have to keep moving.

Oscar: It is a bridge?

Jenni: No, it's a gazebo.

Oscar: Oh.

Two minutes later...

Oscar: Hey, Mom, is that a bridge?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) Yes, kind of. It's a bridge to a little dock or something that people fish from.

Oscar: Oh. Are we going on that?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) No. Momma's exercising, and I can't answer anymore of your questions.

Oscar: Why?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) Because I'm exercising and I can't talk while I exercise or I can't breath.

One minute later...a runner passes Jenni and the boys.

Oscar: Hey, that guy is faster than you.

Jenni (arms burning): Yep.

Oscar: Why?

Jenni: (breathing heavily) Because he's in better shape than me, an because he's not pushing 80lbs of stroller and kid in front of him.

Oscar: Oh.

Miles: Faster! Faster! Faster!

Oscar: Yeah, lets go faster!

Jenni: No. This is as fast as it gets.

Oscar: Oh.

Miles: Faster?

Jenni:...

Two minutes later...Two bicyclists pass Jenni and the boys.

Oscar: They are faster than you.

Miles: Faster!

Jenni: ...

Five minutes later...a runner passes Jenni and the boys.

Oscar: She's faster than you.

Miles: Faster!

Jenni: ...

Five minutes later...another bicyclist passes Jenni and the boys.

Oscar: She's faster than you.

Miles: Faster!

Jenni: ...

Ten minutes later...a runner runs by Jenni and the boys in the opposite direction.

Oscar: Whoa. He's a lot faster than you.

Jenni: (beginning cool down) Yes, Oscar, he is a lot faster than me. I can see that. He's also at least ten years younger, five inches taller, has never given birth, and is in very good shape.

Oscar: They are all faster than you.

Jenni: I know that, Oscar. I don't need you to tell me that every time someone runs or rides their bike past. I can see them passing me. They are all faster than me. I get it.

Oscar: I want to go faster.

Miles: I want to go home.

Jenni: Home it is.

Long live love

2011-03-09T11:31:00.002-05:00

I had to bring Oscar to the doctor's office late yesterday afternoon and as a result, I ended up traveling home in rush hour traffic.

Shortly after leaving the doctor's office, we were waiting on Connecticut Avenue to turn left onto East-West Highway. This is a fairly busy intersection, so we had to wait several minutes to even get into the left hand turn lane, and then several more minutes to actually turn.

We crept slowly forward. As we reached the light, I noticed that there were five men at the intersection, and two of them were holding signs that read, "Honk if you believe traditional marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman."

I'm very pleased to say in the more than 10 minutes I was at that very busy intersection not one car honked for those fools. NOT ONE. I may or may not have made an obscene hand gesture as I pass these idiots. Okay, I absolutely made an obscene hand gesture.

As I type this, Marriage Equality is being debated on the floor of the Maryland House of Delegates, where a very good friend of mine works (as a delegate). She recently posted on her feed that someone proposed an amendment to this bill that would restrict the adoption rights of same-sex couples (she spoke against this amendment), and another amendment limiting the "teaching" of same-sex marriage in the classroom (she spoke against this one as well, as it is entirely irrelevant. And also stupid.)

I hear this, these amendments (and there will be more, so many more), people speaking out against gay marriage, and all I can think about is why these people are so full of fear and so full of hate for those who are different. I see the Speaker Boehner trying to use congress to defend DOMA because the Department of Justice no longer will, such is his fear and hatred of those that are different and those that would challenge his world view. I know I should feel sad for these people and their small minds and bitter hearts, but really I just feel angry. And frustrated. And tired of it.

This is not about your god vs. my god; this is not about someone redefining anyone's personal marriage - we define those for ourselves. This is about equality and it is about love. By this end of this week, it is my sincere hope that Maryland will be the sixth state in the United States to recognize marriage equality (seventh after DC) because it is the right thing, the fair thing, and it is time.

Long live love.

I think I may be a runner

2011-03-07T07:22:00.000-05:00

Things I like about running (in no particular order):

1. New running clothes

2. New running shoes

3. The fresh air

4. The endorphins after I finish a run

5. Sleeping better, and waking easier

6. How virtuous and self satisfied I feel after a run

Things I dislike about running (in no particular order):

1. Running

Conversations with a preschooler: Sith vs. Jedi

2011-03-02T07:41:00.003-05:00

Oscar: Mom?

Jenni: Yes?

Oscar: Why is Darth Vader a bad guy?

Jenni: Because he's a Sith. He succumbed to the dark side of the Force instead of using the good side of the Force, like Jedi.

Oscar: But why did he become a Siff?

Jenni: Well, a lot of bad things happened to Darth Vader when he was younger that made him really sad and angry, and made think all people were bad, so the power of the dark side seemed appealing and a good way to exact revenge.

Oscar: What's revenge?

Jenni: Revenge is like when you hit Miles and then Miles hits you back. Miles is getting revenge on you by hitting you back.

Oscar: Oh, okay. Revenge is not good.

Jenni: Not usually, no.

Oscar: Are all Siffs bad guys.

Jenni: Yes.

Oscar: Who are some other Siffs?

Jenni: Uh, lets see...there's the Emperor. Emperor...Palpatine? Yes, Emperor Palpatine. He's also called Darth Sidious. He's Darth Vader's boss.

Oscar: Darth Sithious?

Jenni: Darth SID-EE-OS. Sidious.

Oscar: What does he look like?

Jenni: He wear's a black hooded robe and he has a really wrinkly white face and yellow eyes.

Oscar: Can you show me a picture?

Jenni: Sure [pulls up picture of Darth Sidious on iPhone]

Oscar: Why he look like that?

Jenni: Because he's super evil.

Oscar: He's Darth Vader's boss?

Jenni: Yes.

Oscar: Who is Darth Vader the boss of?

Jenni: He's the boss of the Storm Troopers.

Oscar: The one with the white helmets?

Jenni: Yep.

Oscar: Are they Siffs?

Jenni: No, they're clones.

Oscar: Whey they're not Siffs?

Jenni: Because they don't know how to use the Force. And they use guns instead of lightsabers. Only Jedi and Sith use lightsabers.

Oscar: Okay. Why to only Siffs and Jedis have lightsavers?

Jenni: I'm not sure why they have them, but all Jedi and Sith have lightsabers. That is their weapon of choice.

Oscar: Okay. What's another Siff?

Jenni: Darth Maul.

Oscar: Darth Maul. What he looks like?

Jenni: He has red and black skin and no hair and horns on his head and sharp pointy teeth.

Oscar: Why he have sharp pointy teeth?

Jenni: Because he's evil! And you know what's really cool about Darth Maul?

Oscar: What?

Jenni [taking Oscar's Lightsaber to demonstrate]: You know how your Darth Vader lightsaber has a plasma blade coming out of the top? [Oscar nods] Well, Darth Maul's lightsaber has a plasma blade coming out of the top and the bottom!

Oscar: Whoa, cool!

Jenni: I know!

Oscar: Can I see a picture of Darth Maul?

Jenni: Sure. [Pulls up photos of Darth Maul on iPhone]

Oscar: Why he looks like that?

Jenni: He's some kind of alien, and that is just how those aliens look, just like you look how you look and I look how I look.

Oscar: What's another Siff?

Jenni: Sorry, buddy, but that's all the Siths I know.

Oscar: Oh. Well, what about Darth Vader's kid?

Jenni: Luke Skywalker? He's not a Sith. He's a Jedi.

Oscar: Why he's a Jedi?

Jenni: Because he uses he good side of the Force.

Oscar: Can I see a picture of him?

Jenni: Yeah, sure, but lets go to my computer so we can see a bigger picture. [Pulls up picture of Skywalker on computer. Oscar is unimpressed.]

Oscar: What are some other Jedis?

Jenni: There's Mace Windu [Pulls up picture of Mace Windu]

Oscar: Who else is a Jedi?

Jenni: Obi-Wan Kenobi [pulls up pictures of both old and young Obi Wan]

Oscar: Who else?

Jenni: Yoda, of course.

Oscar: Yoda is not a Jedi!

Jenni: Yeah he is! He's one of the most powerful Jedi that ever lived!

Oscar: He doesn't look like a Jedi. He's too small.

Jenni: It does not matter how you look, Oscar. Anyone can be a Jedi if they know how to use the good side of the Force. It doesn't matter how big or small.

Oscar: Does Yoda fight Darth Vader?

Jenni: Yes.

Oscar: Does Yoda win?

Jenni: No, Darth Vader wins.

Oscar: Does Darth Vader kill Yoda?

Jenni: Kind of, but Jedi don't really die. They become part of the Force (ed. note: this is just my theory.)

Oscar: But you say the good guys always win.

Jenni: Eventually, they do. Sometime it just takes awhile.

Oscar: Okay. What's another Jedi?

Jenni: Another Jedi? Uhh...Qui-Gon Jinn! Yes, Qui-Gon Jinn. [Pulls up photo of Qui-Gon Jinn]

Oscar: Why is hair look like that? Why they all wearing brown robes?

Jenni: Well, I guess because Jedi are really in tune with nature, because the Force is part of nature? I don't know, Oscar, I never really thought about their clothes before.

Oscar: What's another Jedi?

Jenni: I don't know any other Jedi.

Oscar: What's another Siff?

Jenni: I don't know any other Sith.

Oscar: There are no more Siff or Jedi?

Jenni: No, there are more, I just don't know about them.

Oscar: Okay, well you find them and then tell me about them, okay?

Jenni: Okay, Oscar. I'll do my best.

Oscar: Okay! Which Siff you think I am?

Jenni: Which Sith do you want to be?

Oscar: The one with the white face.

Jenni: Sidious? Good choice. He's the most powerful.

Oscar: Okay, and you can be the red guy. Let's go!

Jenni: Darth Maul? Awesome! Let's go!

I've got resolve

2011-03-01T09:31:00.002-05:00

Well, hello there! How are things? Look at us, entering our third month of 2011, can you even believe it?

If you can, please think back. Back to January 2011. Two whole months ago, I decided that I would spend this year working towards bettering my health and set ten health-related goals. Aren't you curious has to how I'm doing on my goals? I knew you were.

1) Eat a more healthy, well balanced diet, including whole grains, lean proteins and limiting sugar and alcohol (yes, really) You guys. I just ate whole-grain oatmeal with bananas for breakfast. Last night? Dinner was a baked chicken with roasted vegetables and for lunch today I'll have a salad with beets and blue cheese. AND, I've lost more than 10lbs so far this year. I'm kicking this goal's ass.

2) Go to the midwives to for my annual exam (the last time I went was when Miles was six weeks old, so that's two years now) My appointment is in three and a half weeks (it's hard to get in what with all the pregnant ladies and such.)

3) Get an eye exam (I have not been since I was pregnant with Oscar, four years ago) I'm nowhere with this. It's pretty low on my priority list.

4) Exercise regularly, starting with once a week and working myself up to four or five times a week by the end of the year (includes buying new work out clothes/shoes, YEAH!) Um, HELLO?! I just started training for a 5K. The training has me running/walking three times a week for 20-30 minutes each day, so I've got this, as long as I keep up with the training.

5) Obtain a primary care physician Done, though my first appointment is not until the beginning of May (first available, no kidding.)

6) Go to the dermatologist for a skin check Nada. Even lower than the eye exam.

7) Get regular hair cuts, at least every 12 weeks (this is a mental health goal) I did get my hair cut a week and a half ago, so it is yet to be seen if I'll get back in the allocated time.

8) Go to the dentist twice for cleanings/exams No, and I'm overdue. I was going to find a new dentist, but now I'm thinking I'll just go to my old one for the time being. I think my teeth are growing fur.

9) Get tooth #7 extracted and necessary restoration (I've needed to have this extraction done for more than three years) No. See above dentist issue.

10) Laugh more Yes, absolutely. I have felt happier, more at ease, and more relaxed these first two months to 2011 than I have in a long time.

So, that's my progress for 2011. How about you? How is your year coming along?

Wonders never cease

2011-02-28T09:08:00.000-05:00

One of my very best friends told me a week or so ago that if I trained for a 5K with her that she'd quit smoking. Less than a week later, I bought my first pair of running shoes.

Now, I am one who is fond of saying that the only times I run are either to chase down my children from imminent peril or if I'm being chased so the idea that I would run for fun or health is mildly absurd. However, as a former smoker myself I know it can be difficult to find the motivation and the will power to quit, and that support is key, so if me running a 5K with my friend is what she needs to make the quitting happen, I decided that I could run 3 or so miles.

I walked/ran a little over 3 miles with my friend on Saturday, and I think that was too much for me out of the gate. I'm going to start the Couch to 5K program this week, and I think it will better suit my completely nonathletic, borderline sedentary self's new fitness regime.

To say that I am nonathletic is an understatement. Even when I was my thinnest and regularly attended a gym, I'd never have called my self fit or an exercise enthusiast. I took years of dance classes, played softball in middle school, and there is still not an athletic or graceful bone in my body.

Here's the truth: I'm clumsy, I'm uncoordinated, and, to be perfectly honest, I'm lazy and I hate to sweat. If I'm to believe the hype, running regularly can actually help me to become more coordinated and it will certainly make me stronger. I not going to kid myself into thinking that running is going make me less lazy or love sweating, but I am nothing if not a creature of habit and I do believe if I start running regularly, I think I'll keep running regularly. And I do enjoy challenging myself.

Anyway, I'll let you know how this whole running thing goes.

It's not all bad

2011-02-25T07:50:00.001-05:00

I had a rough day yesterday. Nothing exceptional, just basic parent rough day stuff - Miles's diaper leaked on me first thing in the morning; Oscar had a tantrum on school grounds (including falling on the ground); the boys ran from me in the school and I had to chase them (with Benji strapped to me in the Ergo); I forgot Oscar's school bag and lunch and had to go home and bring them back; Miles refused to nap; Oscar picking on Miles; Miles picking on Benji; lots of whining all around (from the picking, of course); Miles clinging to my legs and begging to be held while I fixed dinner; Oscar repeatedly demanding snacks just before dinner when he knows they are not allowed, and inciting Miles to to the same; the boys refusing to go to bed; changing a total of six poopy diapers in one day.

I don't find any of those things particularly irritating, but all together in one day they are just short of maddening. And, really, if it hadn't been for the school antics the day would have been fine. Typical, even. But I found it hard to come back from that morning.

So, last night I was reading a post by Becky where she shared some of the small things in life that she's enjoying right now, and asked readers to do the same. At first I thought, "I got nothing. This day destroyed me." And then, I decided to think about it, and I did have stuff that made me pleased - my too tight jeans no longer being too tight; quiet mornings; my new book light; my dark chocolate stash in my freezer. These things make me happy even if I'm having a hard day.

It actually reminded me of something my mom once told me, several years ago. It is one of the best pieces of life advice I have ever received. She said to me, "When people wake up in the morning, they can decide if they want be happy or if they want to be miserable. I choose to be happy."

This was a real eyeopener for me, because for some reason, I'd never realized that my own happiness was so much in my control. I always felt like my happiness, or lack thereof, was a result of things that were going on around me and happening to me. I would let the sum of small annoyances ruin my day. Why would I do that? Why did I do that yesterday?

Today, I choose to be happy.

My recent ON purchases: Let's review

2011-02-24T09:04:00.001-05:00

For me, nothing says spring like shopping. All it takes is the first warm snap for me to start refueling my spring/summer wardrobe, even though by the time those spring/summer clothes arrive in the mail, it will likely be too cold again to wear them.

So! Ol.d Na.vy (ON) is one of my favorite places to shop online because they have good variety and cheap shipping and the clothing is pretty inexpensive. It does not last long, but my kids basically ruin all of my clothes so I hate to spend very much on them. (This one is for you, Amy, since I know you miss ON so much.)

So *brisk clap*, lets begin.

I'll start, with this ruffly top:

I LOVE this shirt. The ruffles are in cotton and gauze in alternating layers, and the shirt is fitted, but not too fitted, and it hits just below the hip, which is EXACTLY where I need a shirt to hit. The ruffles cover any lumps and it is so soft an comfortable. I actually bought the same shirt in black a few weeks ago and got mad compliments. The only complaint is that the sleeves are a little slippy and the scoop is pretty low, so you need to be careful that your goods are not exposed.

I got this next shirt in as part of my ongoing effort to wear more prints:

It also hits right below the hip and is loose fitting, but not so loose that I look shapeless. And I love 3/4 sleeves. I'm a plus-size girl, and here's the thing - it's really important for larger women to wear clothing that actually fits. Trying to hid your body in clothing that is too large makes you look larger. This actually goes for everyone, large or small. Anyways, I usually don't do buttons because I'm pretty busty and buttons almost always pull and if they don't pull, then the shirt is gigantic on me. Surprise, surprise, the buttons pull, but only just slightly and almost not at all if I wear a minimizer bra, and it's pretty hard to detect because of the print. I was going to return it, but then I decided to keep it. I'm wearing it today and while I don't LOVE it, I do enjoy it quite a bit. *Edited to add: I just noticed that they also sell this top in plus sizes. I think the 1X would have fit perfectly with no button pulling and on minimizing bra. Damn it!

This next shirt is so cute:

I had visions of pairing it with my white pants this summer and it was going to be so fun and carefree. Unfortunately, this shirt looks terrible on me. And I should have known it because peasant tops ALWAYS look terrible on me. I'm just too curvy up top so they hang on me like a sack. That's exactly what it looked like on me - an embroidered potato sack. I though about trying a smaller size, but I already know a smaller size will be too short and then I'll be wearing a potato sack half shirt. This one is going back.

This next top was also purchased in my quest for more prints:

Now, I know it looks kind of farm girl, can I just tell you how amazing this top looks on me? The sleeves are long enough not to exaggerated the size of my arms, the scoop is the perfect depth, the buttons do not pull (at all!), it hits just below the hip, AND the fit is flattering. And on, it's not so much farm girl as it is farm girl chic. I can't wait to wear this one.

Another purchase in my quest for more prints:

I love to wear dresses and skirts in the summer - so easy! And I love little more than a cotton dress. This dress cinches just below the bosom which is really important to me, because I have a very high waist. Dresses with a traditional waist make me look frumpy, and while I may be plus-sized, my figure is anything but frumpy. This dress shows off my curves, hides my lumps, and will be cool and refreshing in the 95 degree DC summers. The only issue for me is the sleeves, so I got a very cute marshmallow white, short sleeved, bolero sweater (with sequins!!) to pair with this dress. The sweater is a really loose gage so I can absolutely get away with wearing it in the summer. It was sold out so I can't link you to it, sorry.

So, that's what I've been spending my money on. What do you think? And how about you? Any spring shopping?

When annoying things are not all that annoying

2011-02-23T12:22:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty decent at housekeeping - beds get made, dishes washed, counters wiped, tables and TVs dusted, floors vacuumed. But I'm constantly battling clutter. Living with small children means living with clutter, but my husband is a clutter bug by nature. He leaves shoes lying and clothing lying around; piles of papers everywhere; bags propped on radiators for weeks; things stuffed nonsensically into shelves and vases and bowls. He must have three bowls of loose change spread throughout the house. That just seems to me like an excessive number of loose change receptacles.

I like things in their place. Coats hung up on the coat rack; shoes in the shoe cubby or the closet; clothing in the hamper; papers filed; bags stowed away in closets; junk mail shredded and bills filed; DVDs in cases. We are so opposite in this way it is almost comical. Surprisingly, this is not a huge source of consternation in our marriage. We accept that we are different in this way.

I supposed it could pretty easily drive me crazy that my husband leaves his bathrobe on the radiator of the kitchen instead of hanging it on the back of our bedroom door upstairs, or that he leaves his work shirts draped over the arm of the living room couch instead of putting them in the hamper. The same way it could drive him crazy that his shoes are never where he leaves them and I'm constantly putting his stuff away in the wrong places and what the heck did I do with his keys (hung them on the key hook, you're welcome.)

But, as I said, we both accept that this is a way in which we are different. Neither of us is going to change. He likes stuff lying about, easy to locate with a glance; and I like things organized and put away. If I were to say to him, "Nelson, I really wish you'd hang your coat up on the coat rack," he'd say, "Yes, you're right, I know I should do that." This statement, however does not mean is is going to hang is coat on the coat rack. It just means he acknowledges that understands that coat racks are the right place for unworn coats.

I realize that it may sound like in reality I am annoyed by Nelson's errant shoes and coats and bathrobes, and okay, when I trip on the shoes that does annoy me, but really I feel like this silly stuff is just part of the collage of our marriage. They are the background noise of our life together. You know, those little bits and pieces of life together that add up to your relationship. There is a rhythm to it that I find immensely pleasing and I have to say that this feeling, while welcome, is somewhat unexpected.

I think I might be in trouble

2011-02-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

So Nelson and I just finished watching this movie called City Island. Netflix suspected I would like it and they were correct. Well done, Netflix! That movie choosing matrix is really working out well for you.

Anyways, we watch this movie and it's about this family and all of their secrets, but it's funny secrets, not dark creepy secrets, because the movie is a comedy. Stuff like both parents still secretly smoke even though they promised each other they quit; their teenage son is a food fetishist; college daughter has secret breast implants.

The character of the teenage boy is played by Ezra Miller (he's like the next big thing or something) and he does a fantastic job. The whole cast does, really. The dad is played by Andy Garcia and the mom is played by Juliana Margulies. It is a really well acted movie.

The teenage boy, you guys, Ezra Miller? So funny. He has this great sub plot that's very cute. He's irreverent and obnoxious and thinks he's smarter than his parents and that he knows everything and just the stuff he says. Such a ballsy little snot, you know? And really, really funny. He was definitely the funniest character in the movie. I mean he'd intentionally say stuff that he knew was going to piss of his parents, just for the joy of pissing them off. He knew just how to push their buttons.

It would have actually been funnier, had Nelson and I not be exchanging nervous glances and giggles every time this kid was in a scene because he was so a teenage boy. I mean, we all know what a teenage boy is like. They are cocky little know-it-all jerks with tempers that can flare at any minute. All those hormones, man. And it's funny because as adults we know how tragically misguided they are and that they will eventually come around, but eventually is not until sometime in their 20s, so, there are some years in there of teenage insanity.

The reason for the nervous glances was that Nelson and I both just realized that we are going to have a couple of those jerks living here, at the same time, in about ten years. Two teenage boys. TWO. Mouthing off and telling us they don't care what we say and that we don't know anything and that we can't tell them what to do and strutting all over the place, trying to be men and flying into hormone induced rages over nothing, like missing T-shirts and who's turn it is to feed the dog.

Just thinking about it, my god. It is not going to be cute. I hope these next few years pass slowly.

Fifteen things you should never say to a stay-at-home parent

2011-02-15T10:13:00.000-05:00

People say the dumbest things. I know that they (usually? sometimes?) have the best of intentions, but those intentions often manifest as condescending and hurtful statements, in my case particularly when discussing my life as a stay-at-home-parent.

I have been on the receiving end of every single one of these questions or statements at least once; most of them, multiple times. Snotty answers in italics

1. Wow, I don't know how you'd do it; I'd get so board at home with my kids all day.

Lucky for me my kids aren't boring.

2. Oh, I could never be a stay-at-home-parent; I need intellectual stimulation.

Well, good thing my kids are smart and I get to help them learn new things every day.

3. When are you going to go back to work?

This is my work. I am at work 24 hours a day 7 days a week. So, never.

4. That must be so much easier than juggling a full-time job with home life.

Yeah, thank goodness this parenting gig is only part-time.

5. You must have tons of time to do laundry.

Oh, yeah, child care takes up like zero hours of my day. They pretty much take care of themselves.

6. If I were home full-time my house would be spotless.

I actually strap swiffers on the baby's knees and let my toddler mop the floor with his cereal milk. The house shines and smells amazing!

7. Don't you miss your career?

Do you want me to punch you in the face?

8. Didn't you go to college?

I did, but I prefer to waste my education on my raising my children instead of being a contributing member of society.

9. Staying home full time is a luxury our family can't afford.

Yeah, it is pretty luxurious with all the snot wiping and no vacations and the smell of poop I can seem to get off my hands.

10. It's must be much less stressful to be home with your kids than working full time.

Oh my god, it's like no stress at all. Keeping my children alive and occupied all day is so easy and relaxing. Excuse me, I'm just going to go grab a nap.

11. Don't you miss having adult conversations during the day?

Yes, but not with assholes like you.

12. It must be hard to keep track of the days of the week; I bet they all blur together.

It's like every day is the weekend!

13. It is so noble/self-sacrificing/Jesus-like for you to give up your career/personal identity to stay at home full time with your children.

I'm not a martyr, I'm a mom. And I still am a real person with real interests in things not child related like books and politics and movies and wine and evenings out with my husband and friends.

14. Do you have any life outside of your children?

Believe or not, yes. I have a book club and a wine club and a large circle of friends both with and without children, who's company I enjoy on a regular basis. REAL PERSON.

15. But what do you do all day long?

Lets see...I fix three full meals and two snacks every day; wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry; I make beds; I clean up constantly - toys, dust, vacuuming, dishes, wiping spills; I wipe noses; I wipe bottoms; I toilet train; I teach manners; I chase my kids; I play cars and trucks and robots and trains; I read to my children; I do crafts with my children; I tickle my children; I mange my household's budget; I run errands; I schedule home and car maintenance and repairs; I go on play dates; preschool drop off and pick up; I volunteer at Oscar's school; like a million other small things that fill up every single second of my day. So basically, I do nothing.

So, let me hear it SAHPs, what other thoughtless, idiotic things have people said to you about your choice to stay home with your kids? How about you working parents? I've no doubt you receive more than your fair share of "But how can you leave your kids all day?" and "Daycare is letting someone else raise your kids" type asshole-ish comments. Give me your worst.

Cutecakes

2011-02-11T12:14:00.001-05:00

I made these cupcakes for Oscar's Valentine's Day party, which is happening today:

They are chocolate cupcakes with strawberry cream cheese frosting and a jelly candy heart on top. They are pretty much the most amazing cupcakes anyone has or will ever eat in the history of the universe. These cupcakes are so good, I want to be buried with them. If there were a way to marry food, these cupcakes and I would be wed. They are good, oh so good.

So, anyways, since these bad boys (girls?) are the best thing to eat on or off of this planet, I though I'd share the recipe so you can go forth and make these amazing cupcakes and be forever revered by your families/co-workers/child's preschool classmates.

Best Chocolate Cake in the History of the Universe

from the back of the Hersey's Cocoa container

2 cups sugar (I know)

1-3/4 cups unbleached, all purpose flour

3/4 cups powdered cocoa

1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 teaspoons good quality vanilla

1 cup boiling water

Heat your oven to 350. You should get an over thermometer so you can make sure the temperature is correct because if you over cook these cupcakes, they will be crumbly and get a crust on the edges and not be very moist.

Line muffin tins with papers and spray papers with non-stick spray (to prevent sticking, duh) or grease and flour two 9-inch cake rounds.

Mix together all of the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla and mix on medium for about two minutes.

Once batter is well blended, stir in boiling water. The batter will be thin.

Pour batter into papered, greased, cupcake tins. Fill each cup about 3/4 full.

Bake cupcakes for 22-25 minutes (22 minutes, really, no more that that) or for 30-35 minutes for the cake rounds (NO MORE THAN 30, seriously).

Cool completely and frost.

Makes about 30 cupcakes or one double-layer cake.

Now, I usually use chocolate frosting as I'm a big fan of chocolate on chocolate when it comes to my desserts, but because these were for Valentine's Day I decided to do something pink, hence the strawberry cream cheese frosting.

Strawberry Cream Cheesing Frosting

adapted from A Spicy Perspective

8 ounces cold cream cheese

1-1/4 cups butter, at room temperature

4 tablespoons of reduced sugar strawberry jam

3 or more cups of confectioner's sugar

1/2 teaspoon good quality vanilla.

Cream together the cream cheese and butter until well blended. Add the jam and mix until well blended. Add the powdered sugar one cup at a time, mixing after each cup. After the third cup, add more as desired for consistency. Stir in vanilla.

After frosting cupcakes, add jelly hearts, sprinkles, or nothing. Enjoy.

Try not to eat more than five in one day.

Lets look at them one more time:

Now, stop drooling and get baking.

I wonder how long this is going to work for me. If you can even call it working.

2011-02-10T09:48:00.000-05:00

Dude. The sleeping situation in casa de Oscarelli has gotten grim. Every night, at least one, sometimes both, of the children join us in our bed. And every night, at least on of the children curls his body around my head, causing my body to contort into the most uncomfortable of positions, making sleep impossible. To say nothing of the fact that all this contorting has made my already jacked up neck every more jacked up because they are causing me to position myself in a way that is exactly wrong for my neck problems and is exacerbating said neck problems.

So, in short, boys coming into bed, boys fashioning themselves into child-hats on mom's head, mom not sleeping, jacked up neck becoming even more jacked up.

It sucks.

Yesterday, I told Nelson it had to stop. We just can't have them in our bed anymore. I'm not sleeping and my neck, shoulder, and entire left arm are killing me as a result.

I had talked to Oscar and asked how he felt about maybe sharing a bed with Miles and Oscar said he felt good. I also asked him if he had Miles in the bed if he'd be able to fall asleep by himself (with no parent in the bed with him) and if he woke up in the night, he'd feel safe enough to stay in his own bed. Oscar said he would be fine with just Miles and not need a grown up or need to come to mom and dad's bed.

Now, we've done this a few times; let the boys share a bed. Miles loves, loves, loves it and has been demanding it more than more. Usually we have a parent in the bed referring until they fall asleep, but it takes the FOREVER to fall asleep when they are together. Lots of giggling and kicking, and that does not bode well for them going it alone. We decided to give it a shot anyways.

We all read books in the big bed as usual, then we tucked them both into Oscar's bed and told them I'd be remaining upstairs if they needed anything. There was lots of giggling, some shrieking, wall kicking, and Oscar came into my room twice because Miles was kicking him.

Oscar: Mom, Miles is kicking me.

Jenni: Well, ask him to stop.

Oscar: Okay!

Thirty seconds later...

Oscar: Mom, Miles doesn't want me to ask him to stop kicking me.

Jenni: Ask him anyways, and if he won't stop kicking you then move to the other end of the bed, or I'll put him in his crib,.

Oscar: No, no crib! Okay!

Two minutes later, they both ran in to the room in gales of laughter. This happened three times before I shut the door, which is old and sticks so they can't open it themselves. That stopped them from coming out of the room.

They were pretty loud for about 20 minutes. Then it got quiet. Not sleeping quiet, but like quiet murmurs.

I went in to check on them and they had turned on the light and were quietly playing cars. Playing better than I've ever seen them play together. It was sweet, but also nearly 9PM.

Jenni: What on Earth are you two doing?

Oscar: Uhhh, nothing.

Miles: Playing cars!

Jenni: I can see that. But what are you supposed to be doing?

Oscar: Going to bed?

Jenni: Yes! YES! Get in the bed. NOW.

They scurried into the bed, I turned off the light and I promised them that if they did not quiet down, I was pulling the plug. The next time I had to come in there, Miles was going in the crib and Oscar was staying in his bed. Alone.

Then I went back to my room. There was some wall kicking, some murmuring, but they were asleep in 15 minutes. All told it took them around an hour to fall asleep. BUT. They both slept all night and stayed in Oscar's bed.

It was not wildly successful, but I woke up with a significantly less sore shoulder, so we're going to give it a go again. I'm hoping the nighttime giggles will wear off but to be honest, I don't even care that much if they are actually sleeping all night and not in my bed.

I'm pretty sure this is going to end badly, but in the meantime, I'm going to get some sleep.

Jerks

2011-02-09T12:41:00.000-05:00

I had to bring Oscar in for a sick visit yesterday afternoon. He has this swollen lump on his face and I noticed it Monday was unconcerned, but then he started complaining that it hurt so I got a little worried. (He's fine.)

So, I brought him in and we were about 10 minutes late. I pointed out that our insurance card was new, and I mentioned that I had to fill out paper work for Miles when I brought him in for his well child the previous Friday. I had contemplated filling out a form for Oscar then, but decided I'd just wait until I brought him in for his well child in June.

So, the receptionist makes a photocopy of his new card and writes the new co-pay down on the receipt; runs my debit card and gives me my receipt; validates my parking and we get taken back right away, before we even sit down or take our coats off. I remember thinking, as Oscar and I followed the nurse back, how nice it was having a bigger kid, because all I had to bring in was my wristlet (like a wallet) and Oscar and that was it. No diaper bag. It was a cinch.

We go back; wait for the doctor; see a doctor; receive diagnosis of swollen mandibular lymph node, and are sent on our merry way.

This morning, I get a call from the pediatrician's office. The conversation went like this, where CMG is the pediatrician's office:

CMG: Hello, is this Mrs. Oscarelli?

Jenni: Yes.

CMG: You brought Oscar in for a sick visit yesterday?

Jenni: Yes.

CMG: Well, you never returned the white form with his updated insurance information. You took it home with you.

Jenni: No, I didn't. I never received the form to update our insurance information.

CMG: Well, I'm standing here with the receptionist and she's telling me she gave you the form.

Jenni: Well then she is mistaken. She did not give me the form.

CMG: Well can I fax you a form that you can fill out and mail in?

Jenni: No, I don't have a fax machine, but you can drop it in the mail and I can fill it out and fax it back.

CMG: No, we need an original signed copy so I'll have to mail it to you and you'll have to mail it back.

Jenni: Okay, or you could just look at the copy I filled out for my other son on Friday. The insurance information is identical. As is the information on the card you copied.

CMG: No, we need a separate form for Oscar, so I'm going to put you down as a self-pay until we get your form back.

Jenni: So you can't even look at the form for billing purposes?

CMG: No.

Jenni: Okay, mail me the form, thanks.

CMG: [Sighs audibly] Fine, bye.

Okay, so WTF was her problem man? I mean, first of all, why was she all confrontational and accusatory about me having the form and having taken the form home? Did she think I stole there fucking clipboard and attached pen or something? Why the hell would I do that? And why would I lie about it? I mean, I appreciate her support of her colleague's statement, but who has more to lose here, the woman who forgot to give a patient an important form, or a clipboard-stealing patient? And WHY WOULD I STEAL A CLIPBOARD??

And second of all the receptionist did not give me the form. I'd have noticed it; all I had was my wristlet and Oscar. I'd have had to carry the clipboard/pen combo in my opposite hand, and I'd have been filling it out while we waited for the pediatrician. And I even mentioned the for to her. She forgot. No biggie, but it was her bad here, not mine.

Third, why can't they just look at Miles' form for billing purposes? Or get the information off the copy of the insurance card? It is that difficult? She could have just done that in the time it took her to call me and be a jerk about the whole deal. I realize they need a form, and I'm coming back there next month for a flu shot booster for Miles, so I could have filled out and signed the form at that time.

Fourth, what does she mean she's going to put me down as a self-pay? Are they actually going to bill me and not my insurance company? Wouldn't that just be waisting their time and resources since the KNOW I have insurance and just need a stupid signed form and there is no way I'm paying them when my insurance covers the visit?

Fifth, what's with the sigh? Is it so hard to mail a form? They are the ones who made the mistake, not me! I'll tell you what's with that sigh; that lady is a jerk. Plain and simple. And I bet she likes being a jerk and making peoples lives difficult by billing them necessarily and acting all superior and snotty about the whole thing.

Whatever, jerk. Keep jerking it up. We'll see how far that gets you. Know what flies prefer to vinegar? Honey, that's what. Honey.

Books and such

2011-02-07T07:59:00.001-05:00

I think I told you guy that I got a Kindle for Christmas? Well, it has fast become my favorite way to read. I'm a very avid reader, and I though I would miss physical books; the weight of them, the smell of them, the sound of a page turning. All of those things are definitely parts of reading that I enjoy.

But, it turns out I don't. I love my Kindle. If you've never seen a digital reader, they are not back lit like a computer, so they don't hurt your eyes (you need a book light for reading in bed) (do not even talk to me if you are not nerdy enough to own a book light); they have a little bit of weight but are far from being heavy; my Kindle is the perfect size for my hand; they are much more transportable than a traditional book because of their slim design and light weight; you can have multiple books on your Kindle for say, vacation, instead of packing three or four novels so it frees up luggage space. It's a really nice reading experience.

I'm a pretty committed library goer and I was a little worried that I wouldn't use the library as much, but that has not held true either. While there are a lot of free books for the Kindle (anything published before 1923, I think, so hello Jane Austen), you still have to pay for most books and some are as expensive or even more expensive than a traditional book. So, even though I really enjoy reading on my Kindle, I'm not going to buy a book just for the sake of buying a book. If it's not a book I would have purchased in traditional form, I don't buy it for my Kindle either.

Example: I just finished reading The Last Child by John Heart. It's kind of a mystery/suspense type book and while I really liked it, mystery/suspense is not typically my favorite genre of book and it's certainly not a book I'd ever read again (I already know who done it, so where's the fun in that?), so I borrowed it from the library and returned it when I was finished. That was very satisfying to me. Using the library always makes me feel like good people.

I've read a bunch of books on my Kindle so far that I've really enjoyed. I re-read the Hunger Games Trilogy and actually found I liked it EVEN MORE the second time through. I also read A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan and I thought it was fantastic. Each chapter is narrated by a different character at a different period in time, and all the characters and stories are interconnected. It goes from the past to the near future. I read another novel on my Kindle, The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman that is told in a similar style, and I liked that one even more, probably because it's kind of about the newspaper business and I was a journalism major.

Here's the rub though; I really liked the Egan and Rachman novels and I think my friend Becky would like them too, but I can't lend them to her because the publisher does not allowed these books to be lent. That's annoying, because I do lend out my books all the time and I don't like this restriction. Plenty of books are lendable (the Hunger Games trilogy, for example), but I want them ALL to be lendable. Get on that for me, okay?

So, I really realized how much I liked my Kindle this past week. I've been reading Jonathan Franzen's new novel, Freedom, which I received from my mother-in-law for Christmas in traditional book form. I was equal parts excited and intimidated by this book (if you read The Corrections you can understand why). It is a tomb, a 576 page hardcover novel. Huge, in both physical and literary terms. It took me an entire month of looking at it to psych myself up to begin reading.

It took me a little over a week to get through, which is a long time for me, even for a novel of that length. In general, it is not nearly as tough as The Corrections; there are actual likable characters (or at least noble characters) which were completely lacking in The Corrections. I think you need someone to root for in a story, right? The story in Freedom, while sad, is not nearly as disturbing as the one the The Corrections. The tone is less despairing and I'd say the ending is even happy. I realize if you've not read The Corrections this is not a very apt description for you, but I don't want to give the book away, and I want those of you that HAVE read The Corrections to give Freedom a chance, because it is better. Really.

Anyways, while reading this massive book, I must have thought 10 times, "I really wish this was on my Kindle." The book is just so big and heavy and hard to mark a page in and I was tired of lugging it up and down the stairs every day. I know this just makes me sound terribly lazy, but my Kindle is just so compact and I love that.

Right now I'm reading Just Kids by Patti Smith and liking it quite a bit, though I almost always like autobiographies and biographies. I got it from the library and I was wait listed forever and I nearly forgot about it until I got an email on Saturday that they were holding it for me. I like it so much I'm a little sad that I did not actually buy it, and I'm a bit curious as to how the photographs would appear on the Kindle.

I also checked out Skippy Dies by Paul Murray and am a little concerned it will be too dense, and it's quite long (672 pages) so perhaps I'll wish I'd bought this one for my Kindle as well? I think if I start to feel like it's too much I'll buy it for the Kindle and save it for later. No, I probably won't. I'm the type of person that has to finished a book once I've started; I feel like I OWE it to the book or something. I think I've only ever put down two books in my life and not fished them.

So, that's what occupying my nightstand these days. Tell me what your reading, and if you have a digital reader and what you think of it; or what you think of the idea of digital readers. Just tell me something.

Disclosure: All books linked to in this post come from my Amazon Associates account and I will receive monetary compensation for your clicks and/or book purchases.

When mama ain't happy, nobody's happy

2011-02-03T11:21:00.001-05:00

I started out this morning angry at my husband. No, not angry. Frustrated. Exasperated? Something not good, and it's been ruining my whole day.

The reason for my frustration? Last night, Nelson picked up the living room (yeah!) and proceeded to put the day's sippy cups and afternoon snack bowls on the counter over top of the dishwasher. Instead of just PUTTING THEM IN THE DISHWASHER. WHO DOES HE THINK IS GOING TO PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER? ME! AM I THE ONLY PERSON IN MY HOME CAPABLE OF OPERATING THE DISHWASHER? HE CANNOT OPEN THE DISHWASHER? HE CAN GET THE CUPS ALL THE WAY TO THE DISHWASHER BUT IS UNABLE TO FLIP IT OPEN AND PLACE SOME CUPS IN THE TOP RACK? So, before I went up to bed to read, I calmly asked him to please put the cups in the dishwasher and then run the dishwasher.

When I got up (first, of course) this morning and came downstairs, the cups were still sitting on the kitchen counter FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY IS IT REALLY THAT DIFFICULT? So, I took a deep breath, loaded them up, ran the dishwasher, and proceeded about my morning because, really, it is not that difficult to load a few things in the dishwasher. For me. So I just did it and stewed about it because I guess I should have just done it in the first place and not expected him to show me the courtesy of doing a menial chore like moving cups four inches in to the dishwasher when that is MY WORK and then I put on my crown of thorns and bled and bled and bled.

So, Nelson gets up and I try to put on my best non-martyr face and see him off to work and I carefully do not mention the cups and am nice and loving and trying to move on. And after he leaves I go into the kitchen to refill my coffee and I trip on the trashcan, which belongs under the sink but, Nelson leaves it in the middle of our very tiny kitchen so he does not forget to take the trash out in the mornings. He rarely puts the trashcan back BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I DO and, you know, the sink is like four feet from the middle of the kitchen and way too far to walk, and wait, why is this empty trash can so heavy?

That would be because it was NOT EMPTY AT ALL. It was completely and totally full. And so I called Nelson to bitch at him for not taking out the trash, which he regularly forgets to do, and he forgets so often that I think I can put the word "forget" in quotes here if you know what I mean. I threw in some bitching about the dishwasher while I was at it and then some more bitching about some trip he was supposed to have told me about last night and forgot to tell me about and he doesn't even know WHEN this trip is only that is it out of country and some time "next month" and then I just hauled out my cross and carried it on my back for miles and miles and miles.

And then I did some online browsing and filled my cart at Old Navy and bagged up the trash and put it on the porch to take to the trashcan when I took Oscar to school. And then I proceeded to be snappish and short with my children all morning and incite bad tempers in both boys. And Oscar cried at preschool drop off and I came home and put Benji down for his nap and baked a chocolate cake and started to feel really silly about my terrible behavior towards my husband and kind of exhausted from all my crankiness and feeling sorry for myself and damn, that cross is heavy, you know?

I sent him a text not long ago apologizing and promising not to bitch about the trash or dishwasher anymore. I remind myself of sleep-in Sundays and of battles better fought by not fighting. I remind myself that I love my husband and hate fighting with him and that when I argue with him no one wins, not me, not him, not our kids. I remind myself that I don't have to wait until tomorrow to start fresh. I can start fresh right now.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

2011-02-01T08:14:00.000-05:00

Rain nor sleet nor snow can stop

*Nelson has shingles. He's had a rash on his side for about a week. He showed it to me last week and I suspected it was an infection. He was sure it was something more sinister. I think I was closer to right. He went to the doctor yesterday and he feels really vindicated that he has an honest to goodness illness and not one of his I-need-to-go-to-Urgent-Care-I'm-so-sick-only-to-find-out-it's-just-a-cold illnesses.

*Boy are playing quietly upstairs. Trouble.

*I cleaned my refrigerator from top to bottom yesterday. I took out the selves and scrubbed them and everything. The life of a housewife is exciting.

*Oscar was off school for two of three days last week. I'm hoping for a full week. It's looking promising thus far.

*Now that I've got some good toy organization, my next project is going to be decorating the living room. I have two blank walls. On one of them, I'm going to do a kiddie art gallery. Ikea has these really cheap multi-colored frames for like $2 each or something and I've been putting aside Oscar's choicest work over the school year. And then on the other wall I'm going to do framed family photographs, college style. I have this whole vision of how neat it will look; lots of different sized and colored frames; portraits mixed with candids. I'm kind of hoping by talking about these projects I'll be motivated to DO these projects. We'll see about that.

*Did you know that the IRS is not accepting tax returns until February 14 because the tax laws were signed so late last year? And I was so on top of that this year.

*We switched to cheaper coffee this week. It is not as delicious.

*Nelson and I both bit the bullet and got iPhones this weekend. Neither one of us has ever purchased a phone; we've either gotten free phones or hand-me-down phones, so this is a huge move for us. Now we are total iPhone converts and are unsure how we lived so long without them. Hopefully the money we are saving on coffee will cover the increase in our phone bill. Heh.

More Random Thoughts at the Un-Mom, check it!

Re-organization (or really, just organizing because it was not at all organized before)

2011-01-31T08:15:00.001-05:00

Big happenings in the Oscarelli household this weekend!

In awesome news, Nelson was around all weekend and even took Friday off to spend an extra day with the family. He'd been at a conference all week and we'd missed him terribly. It was nice to have that extra day of hanging out together.

Also, we did some toy storage reorganization. We have a large black shelf that we use for toy storage that had been in our living room, but had been moved to the dining room to make way for the Christmas tree. We had yet to move the shelf back, so I decided that I wanted to move the shelf to the pass-thru. The pass-thru is a small room that connects the front hall and the kitchen and the dining room and the kitchen. My house is pretty old (circa 1918) So I think this room was used for like food staging or something in the olden days.

Anyways, the pass-thru (so named because we "pass through" it to get to the kitchen) is a small room with doors/doorways on three walls and a window on the fourth wall. It's size and many doors make it difficult to do anything with the room. On the north wall we have the doorway to the kitchen; on the east wall we have the doorway to the dining room; on the south wall we have the doorway to the hallway AND the door to the basement; and on the west wall we have a large window. A lot of openings, right?

This is the room where we keep the dog crate. And that's about it. Around Christmas time I moved the boys' play kitchen in there so they could play kitchen while I cooked dinner and such. It has been wonderful. So I decided to move the whole toy shelf into the pass-thru as well. I was somewhat inspired after a parent meet up I went to a few weeks ago in a gigantic house that had this huge and gorgeous kitchen and a nice sized room off the kitchen that the mom used as a playroom for her two girls. Genius! They played right where she could see them. Love that.

So, we moved the toy shelf into the pass-thru and we also attached a mirror at boy level so that when they play dress up they can see themselves. They are already loving this. I only wish we could move their other toy shelf, and two toys bins that are still living in our living room to the pass-thru as well, but alas there is no more space in there. A little more toy organization needs to happen in the living room but we are off to a good start.

Some crappy iPhone photos of the pass-thru. And yes, I realize it is already messy but it's 8AM here people. The kids have already wrecked my entire house.

West view; toy shelf and mirror, beside dog crate.

South view; toy kitchen, dog crate, basement door.

North view; that's my kitchen through the doorway.

In other organizing news, I cleaned out two closets this weekend. I know, I know, this blog post is finally getting good! I cleaned out the dwarf closet in the third bedroom (called so because it is a short closet, so that's probably a not a nice name; will work on that) and now that closet is nearly completely empty save for a guitar of Nelson's, my breast pump, and a few baby odds and ends. I also cleaned out our main clothing closet and it is lovely.

Most of what was cleaned out was baby/kid clothes and stuff that we tossed in the attic.

I'm feeling cleansed after this weekend, like I've been breathing fresh mountain air instead of crappy city pollution. How are you? How are you feeling?

So, we got some snow

2011-01-28T10:01:00.000-05:00

We got a few inches of snow, maybe four? It was kind of hard and crusty, not too good for snowmen or angles, but we did have a rollicking snowball fight. The only rule was no hits the face/head; of course the very first snowball Oscar threw at me hit me in the face/head. The boys had me outnumbered, but my aim was better so it ended up as a draw.

Some photos of our fun:

Waiting for mom to take them outside.

This guy was a little excited.

And also a little silly.

This is Miles' first real experience with snow (he could barely walk last year and did not particularly enjoy Snowmageddons One and Two.)

Miles has his very own A Christmas Story moment (he couldn't get up.)

I helped him right after I took this picture, I swear.

RTT: By the numbers

2011-01-25T07:27:00.001-05:00

I woke up this morning and said to myself, "Ah, it's Wednesday! I love Wednesdays!"

And then I remembered it was Tuesday.

Number of children I have: TWO

Number of times my children woke me up last night: FIVE

Number of elevator rides we took into/home from DC on Sunday: THIRTEEN

Number of different elevators we rode in: NINE

Number of elevators devoid of urine: EIGHT

Percentage of behinds that I am personally responsible for wiping in my house: SEVENTY-FIVE

Number of behinds I wipe a day: A LOT

Number of time-outs Oscar received yesterday: TWO

Number of diapers I changed yesterday: TEN

Number of times I wiped pee off my floor: TWO (If you count cleaning the bathroom, which I do)

Number of pounds I gained over the holidays: NINE

Number of pounds I've lost since January 1: NINE

Number of books I've read on my new Kindle: SEVEN

Number of unread items in my reader: SIXTY-EIGHT (not bad!)

Conversations with a Preschooler #7: Who's on first?

2011-01-21T09:19:00.001-05:00

Oscar: Mom?

Jenni: Yes?

Oscar: Which Toy Story is the one with the angry monkey.

Jenni: That's Toy Story 3

Oscar: And which one is the one with the birthday party?

Jenni: Toy Story 1

Oscar: And which one has the mean purple robot?

Jenni: Commander Zurg?

Oscar: Yes.

Jenni: That would be Toy Story 2.

Oscar: And which one do they meet?

Jenni: Does who meet?

Oscar: Buzz and Woody.

Jenni: Toy Story 1

Oscar: And which ones to do they meet Jesse and Bullseye?

Jenni: Toy Story 2

Oscar: And which one scares me?

Jenni: Toy Story 3 and Toy Story 2

Oscar: And which doesn't scare me?

Jenni: Toy Story 1.

Oscar: What one is Toy Story 1?

Jenni: The one with the birthday party.

Oscar: What one has the soldiers?

Jenni: They all have the soldiers.

Oscar: Which one has the monkey that scares me?

Jenni: I just told you Oscar. Toy Story 3.

Oscar: Oh, ha ha!Which one has Bullseye?

Jenni: Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3.

Oscar: And which one has the Etch-a-Sketch?

Jenni: Toy Story 1.

Oscar: And which one has Mr. Potato Head?

Jenni: All of them.

Oscar: And which one has the scary monkey?

Jenni: Oscar. The third one. Toy Story 3.

Oscar: I don't like that one.

Jenni: Yes you do, you just don't like the monkey.

Oscar: Which one scares me?

Jenni: Well, I guess they all scare you a little bit. In the first one you don't like the toys in Sid's room; in the second one you don't like Woody's nightmare; and in the third one you don't like the monkey.

Oscar: And which one is my favorite one?

Jenni: You tell me. Which one is your favorite one?

Oscar: Which one has the birthday party?

Jenni: This is ridiculous.

Oscar: Which one, Mom, which one?

Jenni: The first one, Oscar, the first one. Toy Story 1.

Oscar: Oh, yeah! That's my favorite.

Jenni: I'm glad we got that figured out.

Oscar: But, which one has the monkey?

Sunday sleep-in saved

2011-01-18T07:39:00.000-05:00

Nelson and I alternate Sunday sleep-ins. This just means that every other Sunday, we swap off getting up early with the kiddos so the other can get a couple more hours of shut eye. This Sunday was Nelson's sleep-in, but he agreed to let me sleep in yesterday (Monday, MLK's birthday) since I have to forfeit my Sunday sleep-in next week because he has to work.

The idea of the Sunday sleep-in was, unsurprisingly, suggested by Nelson. That man loves a lie-in. I automatically agreed to this too, because while I do not love sleeping late, I do love lying in bed, reading my book in peace, taking a quite shower, enjoying some kid-free moments that are few and far between when you are a stay-at-home parent.

In theory, this sounds like an excellent arrangement, right? The sleep-in parent is usually up before 10AM (9AM in my case) so there's a maximum of maybe four hours of solo early morning child care for the wake up parent. Not too bad. This arrangement has been operating for about six or eight months.

Except that it wasn't working well for me. Yesterday (technically a Monday) was a perfect example. The kids and Nelson woke up around 7 and I got up around 9-ish and came downstairs. Nelson is on the computer; the kids are playing. I look around the living room and dining room. I see no cups, no plates.

Nelson: Good morning!

Jenni: Morning.

Children: Mom! Mom! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Mom!

Jenni: Did you make coffee?

Nelson: No.

Children: Mom! Mom! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Mom!

Jenni: Have the kids had breakfast yet?

Nelson: Uhhh, no, I was just going to do that...

Children: Mom! Mom! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Mom!

Jenni: Have they had any juice or water?

Nelson: No, not yet...

Children: Mom! Mom! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Mom!

Jenni (looking over at Miles, who is limping under the weight of his diaper): Have you even changed Miles' diaper?

Nelson: No, I was about to.

Children: Mom! Mom! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Mom!

Jenni: I'm going back to bed.

Nelson: Well, fine!

So, my husband had been up for more than TWO HOURS with our kids and had not fed, watered, or changed sodden diapers. Let me be clear, yesterday morning was not an isolated incident. This has pretty much become the standard state of things when I wake after my sleep-in on a Sunday. I come down to hungry, thirsty, dirty diapered children and am immediately set upon to rectify all these situations, on top of need to unload/reload the dishwasher and make coffee and a thousand other things.

All of the urgency and immediate needs that need tending completely ruin my sleep-in. It's basically the same as when I get up early, but with louder and more hungry children. I come down feeling relaxed and well rested and am immediately stressed out by the state of disarray and all of the fires that need tending. And you can be darned sure when Nelson gets up after his sleep in, the kids have been fed and changed and coffee made and the kitchen tidied. I mean, feeding the kids and changing the baby in two hours time, is that really too much to ask?

No, it is not. It's really, really not.

In the beginning, Nelson did these things. He fed and changed the kids. Some days he even made coffee AND breakfast! Pancakes,even! But, slowly, as the weeks passed, he gradually stopped.

I'd been stewing over this for several weeks and trying to think of a way to handle the situation without coming off and a total jerk or a martyr and yesterday was the final straw. I nearly lost my cool, which is why I just turned around and went back upstairs. I resolved that when I came down, I would simply cancel sleep-in Sundays for the near future, because they were really only working for one of us, until we could figure out a way to make them work for both of us.

I came down about 45 minutes later. I'd promised the kids I would make bagels so I came down and went directly to the kitchen to get to work. I noticed Miles' diaper was changed. There was coffee in the pot. Even the dishwasher had been unloaded.

Nelson came into the kitchen looking sheepish.

Nelson: I'm sorry.

I though for a minute about staying angry. About lecturing him. About explaining to him how terrible it is for me to come down on Sundays where he does nothing. About telling him how close I was to cancelling the Sunday sleep-in. None of that really seemed necessary, though, or worth it.

We hugged and I forgave him and made homemade, whole wheat cinnamon raisin bagels. The Sunday sleep-in was saved.

Facebook status updates and replies that annoy me, even though I am guilty of making said updates and replies

2011-01-17T13:14:00.005-05:00

1. "If there was a love button, I would push it!"

2. "Where's the dislike button?"

3: "Liking" ones own status update

4. An emoticon of any kind as a response/update

5. "Dislike!" (I type this one all the time and hate myself for it.)

6. Overuse of exclamation points

7. Overuse (read: any use) of ellipses

8. "I'll be right over!" in response to a food related status update

9. Replies that use asterisks to indicate and action, i.e. *shudders* or *slow claps* or *sniffles*

10. Weather related status updates

11. Consistently whiny status updates

12. Overly sarcastic updates

11. Updates written as an open letter to an inanimate object

12. Updates that are not sarcastic enough

13. Replies to status updates that compete for worst day, i.e. "Your kid may have a cold but mine is vomiting, FML!"

14. "FML!"

15. Updates that make your life seem more glamorous than mine

16. Any update that claims 98% of people won't repost the update (that statistic has no basis in reality! NONE!)

17. Ill-informed political status updates/replies

So, are you as guilty of these infractions as I am? What status updates/replies make you cringe?

The little things

2011-01-13T07:58:00.000-05:00

Scene: Oscarelli kitchen, late afternoon. Jenni, Oscar, and Miles doing pretzel dance and singing pretzel song as they wait for their pretzels to defrost in the microwave. Suddenly, Miles embraces Oscar in a very well timed bear hug, complete with roar. Oscar reciprocates.

Miles: Grrrr!

Oscar: Grrr!

Jenni: Wow! Look at that, Oscar! That's quite a hug. Your brother must really love you, huh?

Miles: I sure do!

Oscar: Me too, Miles!

Boys dissolve in giggles. Jenni falls down dead, overwhelmed with love.

Dancing resumes.

RTT: Two boys playing harmonica with dog accopaniment

2011-01-11T07:28:00.001-05:00

Yes, you read that correctly. Highly suitable for

Right?

This video is but a teeny, tiny insight into my daily crazy. Enjoy. Check out other RTT participant's at The Un Mom.

2011: Lets do this thing

2011-01-10T07:48:00.004-05:00

You may have realize that we have begun a new year. Somewhere around ten days ago, 2011 (twenty-eleven, if you will) was foisted upon us and here we are, living it up 2011 style. I'm not much on resolutions. I just do a bad job at making realistic, achievable ones and then feel like a colossal loser when I'm unable to keep these resolutions.

And, yet, here were are in the new year and I can't help but think of it as a fresh start. I can change things! Do better! Be better! Achieve more!

I've decided to ride this wave of 2011 enthusiasm and I'm going make some positive changes, health-wise. I'm not talking about dieting, or not exclusively about dieting. I'm talking about taking better care of my whole self. Here are my goals to this end:

1) Eat a more healthy, well balanced diet, including whole grains, lean proteins and limiting sugar and alcohol (yes, really)

2) Go to the midwives to for my annual exam (the last time I went was when Miles was six weeks old, so that's two years now)

3) Get an eye exam (I have not been since I was pregnant with Oscar, four years ago)

4) Exercise regularly, starting with once a week and working myself up to four or five times a week by the end of the year (includes buying new work out clothes/shoes, YEAH!)

5) Obtain a primary care physician

6) Go to the dermatologist for a skin check

7) Get regular hair cuts, at least every 12 weeks (this is a mental health goal)

8) Go to the dentist twice for cleanings/exams

9) Get tooth #7 extracted and necessary restoration (I've needed to have this extraction done for more than three years)

10) Laugh more

Okay, so that's what I got. I'm feeling charged up! I'm off to eat some bran flaks with skim milk and a banana. Hooray, health!

It just my morning

2011-01-05T10:48:00.000-05:00

Both my kids were up before 6:30AM today. Miles was up BEFORE 6AM. I'm pretty sure that qualifies for torture. Quick, some check that parent-child treaty alliance. These kids are guilty of war crimes.

It's not enough that they were both up before the sun on a day that I could have slept in until 7AM (glorious, beautiful 7AM), but they were demanding that I make muffins. Can I say again that it was dark out? And when I offered them some delicious, generic-brand mini-wheats or circle oats I was met with extreme resistance. Tears and tantrums over muffins. At 6:50 in the flipping morning.

So I made them pumpkin muffins. I have no defenses before the sun rises. It is from the yellow sun that I derive all my powers of moderate patience, caring discipline, Mommy steadfastness, and sound negotiation. I even did some laundry and put away the dishes and made Oscar's lunch at some point, all the while dancing over small boys and feeing them treats to keep their inner howler monkeys at bay while breakfast baked.

Then, Oscar wore his astronaut costume to school today. It was like a scene out of a sitcom. He took off his coat at school much to the parents' and teachers' amusement. "It's not everyday we have an astronaut in class!" his teacher exclaimed. He is a special, special snowflake, that kid.

I've had two cups of coffee. I've read two train books five times. I've put together the same bridge 15 times. I've talked to my husband on the phone. I've researched electricity rates. I've bought a baby shower gift. I've played airplanes.

I'm tired. How's your morning?

The best of 2010

2011-01-04T05:24:00.002-05:00

Becky says we're doing this and I'm nothing if not on board with what Becky says we're doing.

So, here's my favorite posts, by month, of 2010:

There was that time Miles called the cops. What a joker.

Snowmageddon 2010.

Sadly, this still happens almost every night. Some sleep is better than no sleep, right?

Oscar proves to be quite the salesman. I'm still not buying it.

Not one of my best days parenting-wise, but one of my more urine filled ones.

Oscar asks why. And why. And why. And why again.

Not pregnant. Still not.

Remember when that lady gave Oscar a doughnut without asking me first? Ooohh, I get mad all over again just thinking about it.

Housework made me happier. Who knew?

I really liked this post about line etiquette. Too bad no one else did.

How bout when I confessed I dressed my children for future humiliation? Photos still to follow (I only just got them in the week of Christmas.)

There wast this one where I asked you about a sweater. Blog comments were mostly opposed to sweater purchase; Facebook comments were nearly all for sweater purchase. So I bought it; it was too big; we have a head start on sweaters for Oscar next year.

I've really enjoyed spending 2010 with you folks. I hope you'll stick around and see what the Oscarellis get into in 2011.