Monday, September 22, 2008

The Post Where I Whine Like an Asshole About Being Pregnant

So, here I am, at a mere 29 weeks and change and you know what? I'm am sooooo done. I'm exhausted (again), I've got nausea (again), I've got insomnia (again), I've got terrible heartburn, I'm starving but my stomach is so compressed I can eat anything, my lower back hurts, my hips hurt, my knees hurt, I'm peeing every 20 minutes, I'm out of breath, I have dandruff, I'm leaking colostrum, my gums are bleeding, my ankles and feet are swelling, I can't remember shit (like to take some out for dinner, or even that dinner exists), I'm fat, I'm crying all the time, and I'm becoming a psychotic bitch.

I feel completely inadequate. I'm too tired to play well with the boys, to big to haul my ass on and off the floor, too tired to pick them up and hold them for more than a few minutes, my patience is short, and they are getting frustrated with me (rightly so.)

Things that used to take me five minutes are taking twice that. Unloading the dishwasher or folding a load of laundry exhausts me. Hell, going pee exhausts me.

I'm overwhelmed. Being pregnant and taking care of Oscar and the house and the shopping and the scheduling is just more than I feel physically and mentally able to handle. I'm forgetting things, important things, like my dogs heart worm medication. Nelson wants to help, but when I give him a list of what needs to be done, one or two things always get "dropped" and I have to come behind him and finish up. Which is even worse than just doing it myself in the first place because, for example, I thought the vacuuming was done, but it never was, so now it's even worse than it was two days ago.

And I can't even talk about the negative progress on Oscar's toddler room. Really. He's going to be moving into a fuchsia room, and I know it and I hate it.

Oh, and the drain on the tub broke so the tub won't stop up, so we're back to using the too-small-toddler-tub for Oscar's baths.

And, did I mention that Nelson is going to Spain for a WEEK? A week in which I'll have even less help than usual, a week in which I'll be solely responsible for the DBB (dinner, bath, bed) trifecta all by myself? At 30 weeks pregnant. How is that going to work? Someone, please tell me because I can't figure it out. I think the week will end with Oscar starving, unbathed, and exhausted. Kind of like me on a daily basis.

This is only the beginning of my third trimester. Things are going to get worse, and I know it. I'm going to get more sore, more tired, more crazy, more fed up. I still have ten weeks and some to go, here. I can't even see the light yet. I still have a long haul. You know, before the new baby arrives and turns everything upside down.

I'm hoping I'm just having one of those days or weeks or whatever. I'm hoping tomorrow morning I wake up and am ready to face the remainder of my pregnancy with my normal glass-is-half-full outlook.

I don't like feeling like I can't do this.


Anonymous said...

You will be okay! Things will work out somehow. I promise... Oh, except I found that my memory NEVER came back after the second baby. Sorry.

Susanica said...

Awww...Jenni. I want to run right over to your house right now and help. Seriously, how can we help? A tater tot hot dish perhaps? Is my Minnesota showing?

And what's all this about Nelson going to Spain? Huh? Oh, and don't worry too much about feeling like you're not able to play or interact too much with the boys right now. They do entertain each other. And they may be secretly plotting world domination so maybe they like that you're not spying on them all the time ;-)

moo said...

oh, honey, I'm so sorry. There is nothing like having your husband announce a business trip (for a WEEK!) to make you feel like curling up and crying for days and days.

I'm so sorry you're miserable.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

i totally know how your feeling.. :)


Kate said...

When is Nelson in Spain? Perhaps I can be of help at some point during the week...

Anonymous said...

I like that with no toddler to take care of! And still sick at 29 weeks--man, you poor thing! It will be over soon, I know people probably tell you that all the time, but I feel for you!

Stimey said...

I'm so sorry. Being pregnant when you already have one is so hard. Cut yourself some slack. Don't worry about being a great mom for the next few weeks, just get through.

And it never killed a kid not to get a bath every night.

You'd better get a really nice present from Spain.

Mike said...

Hang in there! I've never been pregnant, obviously, but I can totally imagine how you're feeling. Just think though...soon you have a beautiful baby and it will all have been worth it.

And, ahem, you will then have even more work with two kids!

Ami said...

These boys and their "business" trips...but be nice, eh? Sorry you're having a tough time...on the other hand, you're painting a beautiful picture of marriage and motherhood for me...hahahah!

Veronica Foale said...

Everyone always raves about pregnancy and how they felt 'SO GREAT' and 'I GLOWED!'

I call bullshit on those women. Pregnancy sucks. Good thing the end product is worth it.

Anonymous said...

i agree with Veronica..

although some parts of the pregnancy are so worth it.. :)


steenky bee said...

Oh, sweetie. I know I'm a little late here to the game, but I hope this condition has improved. I can say that I have no idea what you are going through because both my children arrived to us via adoption. I don't envy the uncomfortable times of pregnancy at all. I lived through two pregancies via my best friend at oddly the same time we were waiting for our children. While she was experiencing sleepless nights due to being miserable with aches and odd body changes, I was in emotional torture from talking or not talking to their birthmoms. You know what? At the end of the day, my shoes still fit my feet and I could tie my shoes myself. I told her "I win!"

This last part of pregancy is just God's little miracle way of preparing you for those sleepless nights once the little thing arrives. Or some kind of crap like that. :)