Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My Mom is Crazy

I'm not sure why, but I don't really talk a lot about my mom on this blog which is crazy because she is walking blog fodder. Seriously, she totally nuts. In a good way. So, with the help of my brother, I'm going to start digging through my memories for hilarious and heartwarming stories of my mom. For the record, at least 50 percent of her crazy is mine and my siblings' faults. The other 50 percent is all hers.

Some background about my mom*:

1. She's in her early 60s
2. She was a hippie
3. She got her first tattoo when she was 52 years old
4. That tattoo is a rose and it is on her boob
5. She now has something like six tattoos, including a tramp stamp
6. She was 3o when I was born
7. She calls marijuana "grass" (see number 2)
8. In the 80s, her hair was similar in style to David Lee Roth
9. Now, her hair is similar in style to Sammy Haggar
10. She is 5'1", but she pretends she's 5'3". No one is fooled
11. She wears garments with fringe
12. Jesus Christ Superstar is her favorite musical
13. She has a belly button ring
14. She pronounces the word "idea" with and -er on the end, so like "ideer"
15. She wears seven rings on her fingers at all times
16. She often dresses age inappropriate
17. She tells the same stories over and over and over and over and over
18. She does not like fat people, although she will tell you different
19. She say really insulting things to/about people and has no idea that she's doing it
20. She has a good sense of humor
21. Her earrings often touch the tops of her shoulders
22. She's epically bad about sending things in the mail
23. When my brother and I talk about my mom, we refer to her by her full name, first and last
24. She smokes Capris - these are the long skinny cigarettes, if you don't know
25. Her blue leather sofas smell like cat urine

Okay, so those are some fun facts about my mom. Stay tuned for an actual story about her this week. I promise it will be drenched in awesomesauce.

*I so wish this was yesterday's list.


Anonymous said...

OMG, I think I love your mom already. She sounds awesome!!! Go tramp stamp!

steenky bee said...

Oooh! I so want to hang out with your mom. She has a tramp stamp?! I love it! And how cool that she found an 80s hair band and stuck with them for her hair inspirations even when they switched singers. She has fringe? No, that's flair! She smokes those long skinny cigarettes? Okay, that's it. I so need to meet this lady. Please tell me name is Dott?

Anonymous said...

LOL, your mom must be a kick! I think my favorite thing is that she smokes Capris, though. I have always wondered who smoked Capris.

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute! Your MOM had her first tattoo of a rose on her BEWB at the age of 52??? NO NO NO. You HAVE to write about her more often!!!

Martin said...

Bring it on!

Stimey said...

Hilarious. And for the record, there is nothing wrong with loving Jesus Christ Superstar.

Unknown said...

I love your mom.


Kate said...

You know, I think the first time I met your Mom I drove her home from an evening of bar-hopping in Adams Morgan after book club. Huh.

Crazy Meme said...

Okay now you are all getting to know the crazy mom. That's me and I am crazy.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE Jesus Christ Superstar!!