Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Potty Time

So, potty training. I'm not gonna lie here. I don't want to do it. A very large part of me wishes that Oscar would just potty train himself. I mean, how many people do you know that go to college in diapers, right? He would EVENTUALLY just figure it out on his own. I'm sure of it.

Truth be told, I'd probably be okay with that if it weren't for the fact that I'm the one changing the majority of his diapers. And toddler diaper are gross people. No, not gross. Horrifically disgusting is a bit more accurate. Vomit inducing, even.

We actually bought Oscar a potty about three months ago, shortly after my pediatrician said that he thought Oscar was showing signs of readiness. But Mommy wasn't ready. I was dealing with a newborn that nursed ever hour and a half and was sleeping like crap and I just couldn't add one more thing to my plate.

So, we waited. And when we went in a couple of weeks ago for Oscar's two year physical, our pediatrician says, "What is this guy still doing in diapers? He's not ready to be out of these yet?" So I confessed my lack of energy to train and he was sympathetic. But he also basically told me to get to it.

I bought underwear maybe two weeks ago. Elmo and Cars themed underwear. Oscar was beside himself when he saw them and immediately tried to put them on. His head. I explained that they were pants and that when he pooped and peed in his potty, he could wear his Cars/Elmo underwear. His response?


Now, he knows all about his potty. He knows what it is for and how it is used. I've witnessed him putting his bunny on the potty several times and saying, "Bunny pooping. Bunny pee." He freaking KNOWS. He just won't do it.

Last week, at Costco, I bought an enormous bag of plain M&Ms. Upon returning home, Oscar spied said bag of M&Ms and proceeded to haul it into the living room.

"Cocolat candy? Cocolat candy?"

"No, you can't have any chocolate candies. You only get chocolate candies when you poop or pee inside your potty," I told him.

Well lickity split Oscar runs over to his potty (which we keep in the living room),pulls it over to me, and sits on it.

"I pooping. I pee. Cocolat candy?"

He was neither pooping or peeing. His pants and his diaper were still on, but he didn't go in them either. But, it is pretty clear that he knows the drill. He knows what is expected of him.

Oscar did not get M&Ms for his fake pottying, and I explained again that he needed to poop and pee inside the potty with no diaper or pants on. His response?


Today, he pooped in his diaper and requested M&Ms. I explained yet again that he only got candies for going in the potty.


I'm not really sure where to go from here. We've tried sitting him on the potty for a while, with a book to read, but he gets board easily and just wants to run around bare-assed. And we know how that ends.

So, what next? Someone? Anyone? Help me out.


Cara said...

It gets messy & can be disgusting, but what worked for us was letting Bear run around naked as much as possible. Keeping the potty in an easy accessible room (like you're doing) is great & it helps a lot. Good luck with the's a fracking headache.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I'm in the same boat, my friend. Just stick to your guns. No M&M's for faking it, just a hearty "Yay, Oscar! Good try! Maybe next time you'll go poopy/pee in the potty and get a chocolate candy!" Psyche them up. Sprite is at the point right now where she applauds any success she's done to score an M&M, but will also refuse to do anything when I ask her to sit and try on the potty. "Not on the potty! Peepee in the pull up!"
I hate pull ups.

abdpbt said...

Same boat here, my friend. I'm about to let him start running around naked, even though I know it's going to lead to pee on the floor and god only knows what else. I'm SO SICK of toddler poop diapers, so I'm ready.

Michele R said...

My three are years past this so I am pulling into the memory bank. First, I am kind of shocked that the doc made that comment. I don't recall ever hearing anyone, degreed or not, exclaiming about a newly 2 yr old still in diapers. That seems opinionated. Everything I was reading back 5-11 years ago was moms saying that "boys take longer so we have them in pull-ups till age 4". I am certainly not in that camp at all--in fact I think pull-ups are a way of sucking more money out of parents.
When we saw our boys peeing in potty before bath and other signs like that we knew they were ready (it was like 2.5 years) but needed our help, and these signs and things take a couple months usually. The biggest thing that helped was Dad's involvement. And then a huge family commitment to stay home one weekend and go thru 20 pairs of underwear. Bedtime is not hard if you make the bed, put a shower cutain liner on the top sheet, and make the bed again. Then when there is an accident, and he wakes up because no one wants to sleep in wet, it is easy to strip the bed and have a clean bed ready (did you do this with homebirth? I did). That's how mine learned. I am with you on the M&M's too. Mine learned lots of other things with that too. My 2 year old was motivated by chocolate and his pre-school teacher taught him to say Pledge of Allegience, days of the week, etc. by offering M&M's. Good Luck!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I can't help, I have heard very good results with the M&M's. I think he will get in soon. I did enjoy reading the story, I forgot about those days so many, many years ago.

Linda Stewart said...

We are in the same boat with Lil Man. He turned two in January and has no desire to sit on a potty. He will go pee outside, off the deck and he loves to run around without underwear but forget sitting on the potty. We're planning to move soon so I'm not forcing the potty training issue until we do. Once we are moved Lil Man will actually have his own bathroom so I will begin to strongly encourage him to use it instead of going in his diaper.

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. We used Smarties for PT and M&Ms for other things. M&M soon became L&L due to not being able to spell that one :-)

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Not sure I can be much help here but I second what Michele says - getting on your case at 2 years? Back off Dr! The girl was 2.5 years when we did her - we did it last summer and spent a lot of time bare bummed (her, not me) in the garden. We also, for the first few weeks, put her in a nappy to go out until she was fairly consistent at home. Wait until he's ready - like you say, no-one wears a nappy to college! The chocolate usually produces spectacular results as well - he just needs to work out for himself that you really mean it. He'll get there. Oh yes, last thing, boys are generally later than girls.

Casey said...

I've got NOTHING. Last night we put Graham on the toilet twice before his bath and he only peed. Then he proceeded to shit his guts out in the tub for the SECOND time this week causing all hell to break loose when we had to pluck two kids from the tub before they came in contact with a floater. Same thing here though, a big fat "no" when it comes to the potty (most of the time).

Mikki said...

Here is my advice: keep doing what you're doing and don't make it a big deal. You are RIGHT - he will potty train on his own, when he's ready. I've heard countless stories of parents pulling their hair out over this one and it doesn't happen until the child decides to make it happen. Bailey is potty trained fully at school (poop and pee) because her friends do it there. She has never one - NOT ONCE - gone pee or poop on the potty at home. Won't do it. So we're not pushing it. I know that toddler poop sucks...but doesn't the frustration of trying to figure out how to make Oscar do something he refuses to do suck more?

That's my theory anyway. The path of least resistance. This parenting shit is hard enough without making it more challenging because of some doctor's false timeline.

Veronica Foale said...

No advice. But I know exactly how you feel. Same is happening over here still.

Anonymous said...

there is no bribe big enough... seriously - he's a smart little guy and you are now unfortunately at his mercy and timetable...
unless you want to try this theory someone told me about baby gating them in the bathroom and not letting them out until they go :P

Heather said...

I am SO dreading the whole potty training thing...I would actually be content to leave her in a diaper until college just to forgo the whole headache. I'm definitely stealing the whole m&m thing...awesome idea!

Stimey said...

I've potty trained three children and don't have the first idea how to do it. I have no advice. Potty training sucks.

I'm sure it will go very smoothly for you though. :)

So this post isn't a total downer, just know that once potty training is over, it's really, really good.