Monday, July 27, 2009

This is My Life. For Real.

How bout my post about calling Poison Control last week? You guys LOVED that shit. You ate it up. Google analytics tell me so. Man, I think I'm so funny.

And then I had to call Poison Control again on Friday because Oscar was sucking down a tube of hydrocortisone. I saw him with it in his hand, asked Nelson (who as about five inches away) to take it from Oscar because it is POISON. He did, but instead of putting the tube out of reach, Nelson put the tube about a foot away from Oscar. It took Oscar all of 30 seconds to just grab it again, take the lid off, and start squeezing it in his mouth.

Luckily, despite the warning on the tube (If ingested seek medical attention immediately, or contact Poison Control) hydrocortisone is non toxic, and we were instructed to follow it with water and he would be fine. He was.

But then I had to call Poison Control again on Saturday when we were at my in-laws. Nelson had gone to the bathroom and I had both boys in the kitchen. Oscar walked out to the living room, where all the toys are, and before I could even get to him I heard a THUMP! He came running back into the kitchen saying, "OW, Momma! I hurt eye! I hurt eye! Eye hurt!"

Because of the THUMP, I assumed he'd fallen and hit his eye. This happens to Oscar all the time. I asked him if he wanted me to kiss it and he said yes. Well, when I leaned it to kiss it, I was overwhelmed with it's floral scent.

WHAT? His eye smells like FLOWERS?

When I looked more closely at his eye, which was getting redder and more swollen by the minute.


"Yeah?" (he just returned from the bathroom.)

"Is there an air freshener in your parents living room?"

Nelson rushes in to the living room, and returns with an air freshener.

A motion activated air freshener.

With a button on it.

And a bright red light on the button. Or, a toddler beacon, as Nelson so aptly named it.

I opened the packaged and read the instructions. Harmful if sprayed in eyes - flush eye for 2o minutes.

Now, even though I know that you are always supposed to call Poison Control first, we just went ahead and flushed his eye because we knew how to do it. To get the water lukewarm; how to tilt his head so it ran it; how to pin him just right so that he couldn't move.

Well, this time was even more awful than the last because he knew it was coming and tried to escape. He was crying, "NO! NO! Hurt eye! Hurt eye!" And then, as I was holding there he started saying, "Take nap now! Take nap now!" as though he thought we were flushing his eye as some kind of punishment for not napping (he actually had napped that day.)

Nelson's mom came in and took Miles so Nelson could help me and Nelson started yelling at her for having the motion activated air freshener complete with toddler beacon sitting on the end table in the room with all of the toys. Not his finest moment, but he was understandably stressed as Oscar was screaming and flailing in my arms.

After I finished and we had dried Oscar off and put him in dry clothes I noticed that the eye was still very red so I did call Poison Control. They assured me we'd acted properly and told me to call back if in an hour. If his eye had not improved by then, I'd have to flush it again. He also informed me that grandparents houses are one of the most dangerous places for toddlers; they are not used to having them around so they don't take all the proper precautions (like putting motion activated air fresheners out of reach of children.)

He was fine; his regular non-sharing, quick to tantrum, quick to get over it self. And, I learned four things:

1) Just because something says, "If ingested, seek immediate medical attention or contact Poison Control," doesn't mean that the item is toxic. These warning are just meant to scare the shit out of parents.

2) Always do a sweep of grandparents house prior to letting the kids run free.

3) If there is anything even moderately possibly potentially poisonous or dangerous anywhere in Oscar's vicinity, he is going to find it, eat it, or put it in his eyes.

4) Do not make jokes with the Poison Control nurses about talking to them again soon. Because really, that is not funny. Well, not for me anyways.

I think Poison Control and I are going to have a long and beautiful relationship.


blissfully caffeinated said...

Wow. You're like the Queen of Poison Control. I thought I was in good with them, but you've got me beat sister.

That is also why I hate taking toddlers to visit relatives. My husband's family wants to know why we don't visit more often and it's because their houses are dens of death. Unintentionally so, of course. But I can't relax and enjoy myself when I'm constantly worried that the kids will hurt themselves, break something, hurt themselves by breaking something and/or drown in either the pool or koi pond.

Also? Good to know about the hydrocortisone.

Susanica said...

OMG! I'm sure Nelson's mom feels terrible too. I've heard that another danger is when other people leave unsecured medications in their purses. We moms and dads are really attuned to the safe environment, but others are not--especially visitors not used to having toddlers around. Kids are just so curious period. I'm very glad Oscar is okay. -Monica

Heather said...

If ever I want to be scared about what could be in my future I need only stop by your blog! I have a poison control magnet on the fridge but have been hoping like crazy I won't ever need I've had it clarified for me that more than likely I will need it and more than once. Glad the little one is ok. Hopefully any and all bruises acquired while holding a kicking and flailing child have faded as well.

Unknown said...

these "bumps" seem to can only go for so long without a black eye, bee sting, trip to the ER, etc.

if you go by the percentage factor, eventually you're gonna get hit.

but at least you could now moonlight as a poison control operator.

see? bright side.


p.s. glad your little explorer is least his brain is super busy and curious!

Cameron said...

They're going to start charging you. Oscar must be a crazy man, our boy has only gotten ahold of the tums one time, but I figured, 'eh...calcium.' Oh, and he got ahold of that butcher knife one time, but no harm done ;)

Momma Bear said...

sheesh lady. You've had a rough few weeks!

Krystal said...

well, i'm not gonna say anything because if I do, then I will be the one calling poison control. I think this weekend was enough trying to get the clorox wipes away from Angel Eyes before he wiped Sneaky Monkey down with them.

Stimey said...

Wow. That guy is going to cause you all kinds of trouble.

Also, flushing the eye of a small child is not awesome. We made Jack really, really upset by doing that once. (insect repellent in the eye)

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness, you poor thing. Maybe it's time to try the bubble wrap? Usually this is used to protect the whole child but in this case I think just wrapping it around his hands so he can't get into things might help. Although it won't stop him headbutting air freshener.

Strawberry said...

Maybe you should send Poison Control some cupcakes?

And Oscar should be like, a master childproofer...people should hire you to borrow him to see what dangers they have in their home because he will find EVERYthing! (though this is probably true of many toddlers I imagine)

Momma Bear said...

yer sweet, thank you.

Keely said...

If you start getting to know them by name, and asking about their own kids before you mention your problem, THEN worry.

Otherwise, go with the cupcakes idea.

And yeah, grandparent's houses are horrendous. Thankfully my parents house has a lot of upper shelving ;)

Anonymous said...

OMG. We are going to the grandparents in December and there are things we/ they are not ready for. Stairs, electric outlets, drawers and cabinets of heavy sharp and toxic things. tableclothes, knick-nacks and an in-ground pool. help me.

Frogs in my formula said...

I just spent an hour catching up on your Poison Control posts. I don't mean to laugh, but omigoodness you've been busy doing a lot of flushing! I can't imagine trying to flush a toddler's eye for 15 minutes. I struggle with simple hand washing at the sink!

I'm happy Oscar is ok. Your site is quite a resource for all things Poison Control-related. I had no idea that ingesting Vaseline is a natural laxative. LOL.

Here's hoping you have an uneventful next few months...

Casey said...

OMG Jenni, I think you have a future as a Poison Control Hotline operator. My parent's house is like a big death trap and my mom gets mad when I do the sweep to clean the dangerous shit up.

Becky said...

OMG, honey, that is unreal! I was so sad reading about the repeat eyewashing, and his "Take nap now!" Poor little guy!

Let's have a round of drinks all around, whew.

Sprite's Keeper said...

If poison control ever goes public, you should buy stock.