Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Breast feeding was hard with Oscar. He was sleepy and jaundice and I had to wake him for feedings for his first two weeks. He had a poor latch; there were lots of blisters and cracking and bleeding. My first month was hell and I almost quit. But, it got better and I grew to really enjoy that time with him. He started on solids at four months and his nursing began declining. He weened gradually and naturally and I was okay with that. Particularly because of the pain.
Miles was a completely different story. He latched on within seconds of his birth. It was like one of those videos they show you - he inched his way over to my nipple and just grabbed on. And he pretty much didn't let go for the first four months of his life. He nursed every hour and a half for FOUR MONTHS. He had a fantastic latch and a great appetite, but it was tough with the every ninety minutes for 17 straight weeks. He wouldn't even touch solids until he was nearly seven months. Miles was tough in ways too, but I'll take a hearty eater over a poor start when it comes to nursing any day.
So, here we are. Miles is eleven months. He's nurses less these days - every three to four hours - but still quite a bit for a baby of his age. He eats plenty of solids, drinks water, but he really enjoys nursing. Like, he latched on and hunkers down for a good 10-15 minutes at each session. By the time Oscar was four months, it was all I could do to get him to nurse for five consecutive minutes. Miles just loves it. He loves nursing.
And, truth be told, so do I. The moments I spend nursing Miles are often the only moments in the day I get to spend focused just on Miles. He looks at me, he smiles. His had seeks my lips for kisses. He grabs on to my index finger to pull me closer. These are sweet, sweet moments. I'm nowhere near ready for them to end.
My pediatrician (and the AAP) recommends breast feeding for a baby's first year of life (exclusively for six months and with complimentary solid foods after that), and for as long as is mutually desired by mother and baby after that points. The World Health Organization actually recommends breast feeding for up to two years and beyond, with complimentary foods.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I will school. Your. Ass.
Who's laughing now? Who? Well, we both are, but still.
In this photo, taken moments after the last series, Oscar has escaped but Miles is hot on his tail. Oscar is once again pulling his patented leaning move. It is terribly unsuccessful.
FOOL! You cannot defeat Miles William!
Nom, nom, nom. Delicious brother.
Muah ha ha ha! I am VICTORIOUS!
Little: 1; Big: 0
I think Oscar needs some new moves. And a blood transfusion.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
*So, the other day on Facebook I got a friend request from someone who was absolutely NOT my friend. We've known each other probably since fifth grade but we have never clicked. I have always had an active dislike of her. Granted, I've not seen her in nearly 15 years so things could be totally different, but I just don't feel the need to reconnect with someone that I never liked being connected with in the first place. To be clear, this is not just some random person I went to high school with (I deny those friend requests too) but a person that I NEVER got along with. I feel like she only added me so she could snoop into my business, but then I can't figure out why she'd be interested in my business in the first place. But I do know that I don't want her seeing photos of my kids and the personal info I have on FB. I'm feeling a little bad for denying her request, but I shouldn't have to be FB friend with an real life non-friend just to spare her feelings, right? Right? (All my IRL friends reading this right now are DYING to know who this person is, aren't you? Well, I'm not telling.)
*Things have gotten significantly better with Oscar since last week's incident. I've made it a priority to play with him more often and focus more time on just Oscar, and it's really made a huge impact. There have been a couple of times when he's gotten nasty with Miles, but not like that first day.
*Yesterday was the first time Oscar spontaneously told me he loved me. He's been saying, "Love, you Momma!" for three or four months but it usually comes after I tell him that I love him. He says it in return. Well, yesterday I was "sneaking" up on him and he caught me in the act and just launched himself at my legs and said, "I love you, Mommy!" And then I died.
*At almost 11 months of age, Miles is still not sleeping through the night.
*Parenting is not a theory; it's a practice. If you've never done it, you just don't know. No, your pets don't count because PETS do not equal CHILDREN; they equal PETS. Getting up at night to let your puppy out is not the same as waking every 90 minutes to breast feed an infant. Cleaning up dog shit on the floor or emptying a cat box is not the same as having your kid crap on your lap and pee on your face multiple times a day. Not. The. Same.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Jenni: Hey, lets go.
Nelson: I don't think we should go in. There are gang members hanging out by the door.
Nelson (pointing): Gang members. Right there.
Jenni: Gang members? Those are not gang members. What makes you think they are gang members?
Nelson: Just look at them. They are throwing up gang signs all over the place!
Jenni: You're kidding, right?
Nelson: No! Look! Look at them! Gang signs!
Jenni: Nelson, they are not "throwing up gang signs." Those aren't gang members; they're deaf people. They're just talking to each other.
Nelson: What? Are you sure?
Jenni: Those aren't gang signs, asshole. It's sign language.
Nelson: ...Oh. Ooohhhh!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I've been feeling pretty proud. More than a little smug. Like I'm a fucking rock star or something.
Then, yesterday, Oscar handed me my ass. Just served it up to me on a silver platter. Here you go, Mom. You suck.
And now, it's hard again.
Yesterday was quite possibly the hardest day I've ever had as a parent. I had more than one moment where I thought, "I can't do this. I'm not doing this well enough. I'm completely failing these boys." It was really, really shitty.
I wish I could pinpoint the moment when it started so I could go back and change everything. Was it when I allowed Oscar to stay in his PJs all morning? Or when I let him have half a piece of Cinnamon toast and two cups of juice for breakfast? Or when I insisted he change his full diaper against his wishes? When I finally made him get dressed? Could it have been starting the day with a movie instead of Agent Oso? Or was there no particular moment?
Oscar was difficult yesterday, to say the least. The very least. He was mean; he was slapping and punching and kicking Miles and I. Trying to knock us over. Laughing at his brother's tears of pain and frustration. Kicking me and laughing when I put him in time out and refusing to stay put. Throwing toys with every intention of causing injury to others.
He would not sit still. Not for one minute. Not for 30 seconds. He was throwing his body full force on to me or onto Miles. I stood up, holding Miles from his reach and he came at me fast and hard, trying to knock me to the ground; pound on me with his fists; scratching at me with his nails; kicking me with his feet.
I tried to put him in time out; I tried raising my voice sternly to him; I tried putting him in time out again; I tried explaining that he was hurting me, hurting Miles and that was not nice; I tried ignoring him; I tried distracting him; I tried giving him something to eat; I tried getting him to take a nap, like Danny; I tried hugging him.
Nothing worked. Nothing. Everything I tried just made him more and more angry. It went on for nearly two hours. I didn't even recognize him. He was not my sweet boy.
I put in Grouchland again, and he lay calmly on the couch for the duration. I went to the couch and asked for a hug and he just clung to me for dear life for several minutes and then I knew it had been as bad for him as it was for me. It was over. He continued to be difficult for the rest of the day, but he wasn't mean so I just let it go. He fell asleep at 6pm, before dinner, and we put him down fully clothed.
I woke this morning determined to make today a better day. Because yesterday was awful. It was awful for me and I'm sure it was awful for Oscar.
He woke up early, before I even finished my shower. He wanted to wear the same shirt he'd been wearing all night and the previous day - I allowed it. He chose his breakfast and settled in sleepily for some early morning Sesame Street.
Oscar and I spent the morning playing cars while Miles played beside us and the TV hummed unwatched in the background.
Right now, Miles is napping and Oscar and Danny are playing a very involved stacking game. I was waved away, "Go sit on big chair, Momma. I play with Danny."
Today is a better day and we are moving forward. I'm thankful that it is not awful, that I do not feel like I'm failing my little boys and that Oscar's delicate balance has not been upset. Not yet, at least.
I've been humbled by my two-year-old. This is hard. Really, really hard. I don't win every day. I don't even win most days. And I still have get up every morning, game-face on, trying for a win even after my ass has been royally kicked. Especially after my ass has been royally kicked.
But today, I don't care about winning. I'm just hoping for a draw.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
*Noses still runny, coughs still chesty. When will this end? Miles has had a cold for going on four weeks, and the rest of us are going on two. Enough already!
*I just want to let you all know I'm NOT participating on NaBloPoMo. And if you are participating and therefore be clogging up my reader all month, I'm telling you now I'm not going to read all those posts. It's exhausting, people. And to be clever and witty in your comments section? I'm lucky to pull out a good one two or three times a week. NaBloPoMo kills me. But good luck to you and stuff.
*I need a haircut.
*Oscar has been really into Dora and Max & Ruby lately. If she tells him to do something "LOUDER!" one more time, I'm going to throttle my TV. We don't have a problem with volume over here, Dora. Zip it.
*Oscar's new thing with Miles is trying to hug his little brother until he bursts, or leaning into him until he knocks him over. Unfortunately for Oscar, Miles is made of tough stuff and actually LOVES all the attention. So you lose, Oscar. You're attempts to be a jerk to your brother fail. At least this time.
*We've officially entered the Rice Cake Stage of Miles' snacking life. That means there are mushy little bits of rice cake all over my house. Awesome.
*Miles is still not sleeping through the night. Send help.
*Babies and toddlers do not understand the concept of falling back. Hello, 4:30AM.