Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Recurring Conversations With my Husband: That's Not Dishwasher Safe

My husband and I have been married for eight years, living together for 13, and together for even longer than that.

We have these recurring conversations  where we are talking about the same thing and saying the same thing and it makes me feel a little crazy, but I mostly think it's charming and hilarious. I mean, don't all married couples have the same arguments and conversations with their spouses?

I hope so. I mean, these are some of the things that make marriage entertaining.

Anyways, this one conversation that we always have has to do with Nelson putting things in the dishwasher that are not dishwasher safe. Or, perhaps, putting things in the bottom rack that are Top! Rack! Only!

We talk about this maybe once every two months.

The main things in our house that are not dishwasher safe are some of the boys' water bottles and wooden utensils. The items that are top rack only are reusable plastic storage containers and two of the kids' plates.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "But how is Nelson supposed to know what's dishwasher safe, and what is top rack only?"

Well, because I tell him. Also, it listed right on many of these items, but I am also right there, very clearly saying, "Hey, this is not dishwasher safe, okay? You have to hand wash this every time or it will get ruined."

And, he seems to remember these things for a while, but then after a few months, the water bottles will start making their way into the dishwasher, and getting ruined, or a lid to a plastic container will be placed on the bottom shelf and fall onto the heating element and get all melty.

So, at that point I say, "Hey, so remember how I told you that XYZ is not dishwasher safe/needs to go on the top rack? Look at what happened [shows melty lid/ruined water bottle]." And Nelson is all, "Oh, yeah, right."

But here's the thing (I know, finally, right?). Now, I can allow for the fact that he may forget which of the plethora of water bottles are dishwasher safe and which are not. That is totally feasible.

What I don't get, is how is he forgetting that wooden utensils (spoons, citrus reamer, etc.) are not dishwasher safe, and that plastic containers are top rack only? Because that has been the case for the entire time we've had a dishwasher (eight years in April). These facts have not changed and I have relayed these facts several times.

Truth be told, I'm tired of relaying these facts. Almost as tired as I am of my wooden spoons cracking and my reusable plastic containers warping.

So part of me, as I unloaded the dishwasher this morning and found my wooden citrus reamer in the utensil basket (sigh) feels annoyed that we have to have the dishwasher safe conversation YET AGAIN and another part of me feels annoyed that I have to come off as a nag because, OH MY GOD WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION AT LEAST 25 TIMES. And yet a third part of me is laughing at the complete ridiculousness of the entire situation.

I mean, what is the deal? Does he have early onset Alzheimer's? Is he genuinely forgetting basic, longstanding dishwasher etiquette? It is really so cumbersome to hand wash a citrus reamer the he would rather put it in the dishwasher and then have me tell him all about it later? I would think the threat of having me talk to him about a fucking citrus reamer would be enough to get him just to hand wash it, as is clearly stipulated in Jenni's Rules of Dishwashers (and, don't even, because you know you have dishwasher rules, too).

Seriously. I don't even want to be part of that conversation, because frankly it makes me sound crazy.

What's actually going to happen here is that in the interest of maintaining marital accord, I will not mention the citrus reamer. I mean, I get that it is ridiculous and that I'm slightly obsessing here. This is a thing with me. I will continue to muse over why my wooden utensils find their way into my dishwasher, despite my pleas to hand wash them so as to preserve their integrity.

I will soldier on. These are the things we do.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Six Months

So, it's been six months.

In all honesty, I'd half (more than half) decided to just never blog again. I'm working fully time now, so writing for pleasure like this seems like a luxury. But, for the past few weeks, I've been missing it.

These past six months have been quite a transition for our family, what with me starting work full time, Oscar beginning kindergarten and Miles starting preschool. There have been some tough moments, one in particular when Oscar burst in to tears at bedtime as I was leaving for a meeting, telling me he hoped I'd be fired so I could be home with him all the time.


For the most part, though, things have been okay. Nelson has really stepped up to the plate, taking on significantly more child and meal responsibilities with minimal complaint. I mean, yes, he told my brother a few months ago that things were "brutal" but I'm sure he was just exaggerating.

Last was was this particularly busy week, with two co-workers out, one unexpectedly, that sort of ended up more than doubling my workload for a few days (hence today's comp day). I was working crazy long hours and Nelson was running herd on the kids and dinner and really everything.

He was chatting with a friend on the phone toward the end of the week, and as I was walking through the room, I heard Nelson say, "Yeah, Jenni's been working a lot lately so I've been taking care of the kids a lot," and I sort of paused, and then he quickly added, "Which is fine because I'm their dad."

This just struck me as terribly funny, first, that he mildly complained about the extra child care (fair enough); second, that he sort of dismissed his own complaining by acknowledging that, as a dad, he should be caring for his children.

And, really, this has been tough for me, giving up the role as sole primary care giver for the boys. Nelson has been shouldering dental visits and well child exams, homework with Oscar, Lego builds, and bath times. And, while, as he said, he is their dad, this is still all new for him and pretty significant.

Anyway, so here's where I'll stop for now. I'll try to summon up a cute kid story for my next post. Like six months from now.